Pieces of My Life

Today’s my birthday. I realized that we all love our birthdays and birthday seasons, don’t we? I’ve learned to love the signs of spring, the blooms and buds, the wetness of spring rains and the worms on the sidewalk. I think as we grow older, we start to reminisce about our lives on our birthdays. We think about the birthday parties as kids, the cakes and gifts, the milestones of 10, 18 and 21.…

I made a @TikTok video. Find me! #VitiligoNation #ChronicConditions #DOC #DSMA #T1D #Diabetes

Last night, I created my first TikTok video. I laughed at myself and when I told my husband, he said, “Really?”  https://www.tiktok.com/@kiks416/video/7059132726041152814?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id7059459012618176005 So this TikTok video — did you watch it? — is a culmination of lots of thoughts in the past few months about my vitiligo and ways to bring it to the forefront of…

Anxiety, Shelter & going Tubeless

Ever have the thought, if I don’t do it now, I’m never going to? Yeah, well, that’s how I feel about writing this right now. If I didn’t do it now, I probably was going to wait another set of months to keep quiet. Well, here we are, 2 variants and a melt down later and really, nothing has changed. Wait – I’m wrong, things HAVE changed and I’m still unsure whether it’s for the better or worse…

I want you to get vaccinated against COVID-19

To say that this has been an easy year is … well, a lie. This past year has not been easy on so many different levels. My birthday is on Friday and I’ve been processing just how far we’ve come in the last 12 months. One thing that has been on my mind recently is getting vaccinated against COVID-19. Like the flu, you can still get COVID even if you are vaccinated, however, having the vaccine and…

How We’ve Changed in a Year

It’s really hard to think about everything that we went through in 2020. I remember the beginning of the year and thinking about everything that I had planned in my head for myself and for my family. This week last year, I planned to have a group of powerful women over to my house for brunch and talk on how we were going to conquer the world in front of us. I had planned to introduce all of those…

We’ve been in this game for 3 months now and wow! Can I just say, this is fun? It really is. To see this little person grow and learn, it’s absolutely amazing. We’ve made progress on sleeping, she knows who her parents are and she’s starting to talk and coo and communicate with those around her. It’s super cute.

But as everything else goes, breastfeeding is not as easy as all those mom who…

So, where do I start? Let’s start at the beginning. I promise that I’ll be tying all of this back to diabetes in one way or another, because we all know, you can take the diabetes off the mind for a bit, but you can’t take it away from the body. Womp!

I was supposed to be induced on August 3 at 8 a.m. However, it seemed that the baby didn’t want to wait that long, breaking my water on the morning of August 2, starting at 6 a.m. I say starting because it began as a slow trickle, not exactly breaking until I sat in the wheel chair at the hospital. There I went, wet and embarrassed, into labor and delivery, expecting things to go as planned… but do they ever?

Before I continue, let me just say, I really wanted a vaginal birth. I don’t know why I had my heart set on it. Maybe because I wanted to do it the “right” way or because that’s how it is “supposed to be”, but I really can’t tell you why.

So they started the induction. I started having strong contractions and in they came to check my progress every 2-4 hours. I had an epidural put in on Friday night after almost a whole day of contractions and very little dilation. I was so exhausted and decided to get the epidural so I could get some rest in case baby decided to come overnight.

The day Luna was born.

Daddy and Luna on the couch.

Let me add something here. I managed my own blood sugar this whole time. On Friday, I was still allowed to eat, only because I wasn’t in active labor. During the early morning on Saturday, they told me that from then on, I could only have ice chips. No more food. Through this time, my sugars had been really good and stable. They weren’t even checking my sugar anymore, but relying on my sensor, which was pretty awesome.

The funny thing is that with each nurse, I would talk about my pump and answer questions about my sensor. They hadn’t seen this in action.

Since I wasn’t eating, my sugar started dropping on Saturday. I drank apple juice to get it back up. This happened twice before I had residents come in to tell me that if it dropped below 70 again, they’d have to give me D5 or dextrose in my IV. I didn’t want that. I didn’t care what percentage of it was sugar, I didn’t want anyone managing my diabetes besides myself. I called my endo to ask about this, to which he responded to watch my sugars. If they had to give me D5, he said to tell them to shut it off, if I saw my sugars going too high. After having that discussion, my sugars never again dropped below 70. Lucky me!

Saturday didn’t get any easier for me and my labor. On the upside, the my gynecologist that I had been seeing for years, who transferred my care over to the MFM (high risk doctor), was on call all of Saturday for a 24 hour shift. It made me feel secure to know she was there because she was going to look out for my best interests.

They started me on pitocin again (because they had stopped when they had given me a pill to thin out my cervix), so the contractions came on strong even though they weren’t giving me a high dosage like they did on Friday. I later came to find out that my doctor was upset that they weren’t giving me higher dosages to bring on active labor faster.

They came in every few hours to check my dilation; I was immobile due to the epidural at this point. That check was probably the worst thing I’ve ever felt in my life, next to getting a catheter put in. And I wasn’t progressing fast enough. They knew I wanted to have a vaginal birth — and in my head, I wanted it because I’d heal faster, it would be “normal” and I didn’t want to be a stereotype, especially after hearing, “all diabetics have c-sections.” But over the second night in pain and watching the hours go by, I told my husband, “If they come in and say that I haven’t progressed at all, let’s just do the c-section.” At this point I was going on 2 days of labor and I was ready to meet my child.

At 6 a.m. on Sunday morning, the doctors came in again and checked me out. I had progressed to six centimeters dilation, but that was as far as I’d go. Not even an hour later, my doctor came in and told me that I gave it the old college try, but it had been long enough. Even though the baby was taking the drugs and all this stuff like a champ, we were going to have to get her out via c-section. I said OK, and they prepped me for surgery.

During the surgery, I was awake the whole time. Luna was born at 8:42 a.m. on Sunday, 50 hours after my water had broken and I was so happy and relieved to have my little girl. I sobbed on the table along with my husband and I watched as they put her in his arms. She was so tiny and beautiful — I’ll never forget that moment when I first saw her.

Because I felt like I was going to vomit through the surgery, they gave me steroids, bumping up my BG to 150. The anesthesiologist said it right away when I checked my sugar wondering why I had gone up “so high.”

While I was in the hospital, it was so weird that nurses were so interested in my pump. I guess it wasn’t something that they saw very often. During my labor, one nurse told me that she had one patient with a pump years ago, so was fascinated by how technology had advanced. Another nurse asked me to see my site and how the pump was attached to me. Other just asked questions as to how it worked with the sensor and transmitter and things, but overall, I was appalled. You’d think, being in a hospital, that they’d know a little more than they did. Guess not.

After a three days in the hospital and going through tests, pill popping and lots of talks with lots of doctors, they let us go home to be a family.

The last few weeks have been surreal. I’m loving being a mother, even during those midnight feedings and diaper changes. I love washing her clothes, giving her baths and smelling her, but I’m also missing my work and hobbies, hence my desire to write this blog.

I’ve pulled out a book I bought myself to read. I’ve used my planner to organize my thoughts. I have a plan for feedings and pumping (motherly things). I have ideas on how to start writing and keeping up websites and blogs. I’ve enjoyed walks and spending a TON of time with family.

I’ve taken a short break from my CGM because it started acting up, luckily AFTER I had Luna. The instantaneous drop in insulin needs is wild. The next day I was back to normal basal rates. Although many women say that breastfeeding drops blood sugar, I wouldn’t say that it’s dropping as much as staying pretty steady. My endo told me not to neglect myself, which is very easy to do with the little one. However, my support system is awesome because not only do they help to take care of the baby, but they’ve also been here to take care of me — making sure I eat, have time to shower and time to take naps if Luna won’t let me.

It’s definitely a lot to get used to, but all in all, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I wrote a new blog! :) Making the Best of a Mental Situation and pregnancy.

Pregnant women do not have a disability. Pregnant women are fully capable of doing things for themselves. Pregnant women are strong; they are warriors. They are bringing the gift of life into the world. And ironically, it makes them vulnerable. It makes us vulnerable. 

Besides my body changing and growing with this new human life, pregnancy isn’t just physical, especially for those of us with…

I'm hitting resistance during pregnancy. What's it like for you?

Honestly, I don’t know what my body is doing, but I’m going to say resistance is to blame. I’m currently in my third trimester and almost at 30 weeks. Time’s flying!

I feel like diabetes is just magnified 10 times the complicated amount it normally is when pregnant, except this time you have to deal with a growing belly and other annoying symptoms.

I’ve upped my basal rates twice now and…

Type 1 Pregabetics and the Docs. I tried connecting the dots as to why we may feel judged as much as we do. #pregabetic

A few nights ago, I started thinking about it, as I sat up in bed eating Fig Newtons and a Twix bar because my blood sugars were at 47 and dropping. I started thinking about this battle that I see on forums about Type 1 diabetes and pregnancy regarding women saying that their MFMsare wanting them to go back to injections, mixing NPH and R, because that’s what THEY know how to handle. Or hearing…

The experience with #diabetes while #pregnant is a complicated one. What have you learned? Read mine -

We all go through it, we, people with diabetes. The awful spikes that happen after you eat a scrumptious meal, that many of us battle to get back down to normal range. But how do you manage it.

Quite honestly, I didn’t even think about it a few months ago. If it came down, it came down, if it didn’t… I’d give myself a little more insulin and wait. Was I concerned? Not really.

Now, a few months…

The more you try... the more complicated it can get! #PregnancyandDiabetes #DiabeticPregnancy

Even without being pregnant, managing blood sugar levels is one of the hardest things to do. That’s what makes having diabetes so hard. It’s also what makes people give up certain things, like high carb foods, sweets, and the like. I mean, for a while I gave up rice (until I started eating brown rice, and less of it), tortillas (until I limited myself to just 2 or 3) and bananas for a while. It…

Success in numbers. When the truth sets you free and makes you happy! :)

As I previously mentioned in my last blog, I’m pregnant. Along with that, since this is my first pregnancy, I’ve been vigilant and reading pretty much everything I can get my hands on about being pregnant. On top of that, I was recommended groups on Facebook that discuss Pregnancy and Type 1 Diabetes.

As I said before, I had a great fear of getting pregnant because of all the things that could…

Let’s face the fear: I’m having a baby!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m super excited to be pregnant and at this rate, in officially my eleventh week of gestation. Eleven weeks.

When they did my ultrasound, they said the baby was already fully formed. That happens at eight weeks. They said now, the baby just has to grow. I was fascinated.

Finding out I was pregnant was full of mixed emotions. Didn’t I just have a few glasses of wine the other…

Predicting the Drop. #DSMA #Diabetes #Dblog

I walked into Stroger Hospital today for a pump clinic meeting. Interestingly enough, I knew  a few people sitting in the room. The diabetic educator was one. The other was a representative from Medtronic, the company that manufactures my insulin pump and supplies. He taught me how to use my CGMS when I first got it. Then there were two endocrinologists whom I hadn’t met before. All were there…

Why things are completely unfair for folks Living with Diabetes

“When I grow up, I want to be in the Air Force!” I once told my mom when we went to the base in Colorado. Basically, she told me, well, you can’t. You can’t go into any of the armed forces if you have diabetes. Well, that was a bummer. On to the next thing.

I wanted to be a writer. I got my, you could say, dream job right after I came home from living in Champaign-Urbana for five years. I was…

It’s the beginning of 2018 and it’s time to set those resolutions, right!? Not so fast. In an exchange with someone at work, I proclaimed that I’m really not about resolutions because I usually make goals. And with a short break between the past year and the current year, it’s easy to get your head in order and your priorities straight. Time off is an absolute blessing. Additionally, I had been…