version 2.0

(Aug212025)

After my initial interview with the Office of the Vice-President yesterday, on my way home, stuck in traffic, I was listening to Rx Monster's Riot, where they play throwback hits from the early 90s to the mid 2000s, the DJ asked a question, "what if a genie appears and he grants you one wish, what will be your wish?"

Most of the listeners sent in their answers, and they wish to come back to the days when they were young. Based on this, the DJ concluded that most of us are having a hard time adjusting to adulthood. That all of us are first timers, at walang nakakaalam kahit isa satin, how hard our adult life can be.

This is exactly what I have been feeling and thinking as well. If I had only known how difficult my life would be, I would not have wasted so much time and opportunity to gather and bring all the resources I need from my past to my present adult life.

But this isn't just about finances; this is about attachment as well. Like in my case. I keep dreaming of our old house, my grandparents who are gone, and some people that I haven't been with for quite some time now. You see, it is not all about the changes, but the attachment to people as well that makes adulthood difficult.

A few days ago, I read an Instagram post from one of the female celebrities that I follow. Her post talks about how people tend to have different recollections of the past. That the way we remember the past might not be the same way it really happened. This is maybe because of emotions.

Whenever we go to a certain place, hear a song, or see a photo that reminds us of something from the past, we tend to feel nostalgic, and we start to reminisce. And this is when our emotions start to distort our memories of what really happened during that time. All we remember is the good stuff, and that is what makes us attached and cling to the past. And then we realize that we are no longer in the past.

June052025

Today, I received an email informing me that they have chosen another candidate for the position of Public Relations Officer II at the Department of Health. This was not the first time, as my application was also denied by the Office of the Vice-President yesterday, the NIB, a week before, and when the Department of Education ghosted me after our panel interview.

Another painful thing that I have to admit is that I will have to take a leave of absence from law school this semester, even though my class standing is quite good, due to financial strains, something I have never experienced before. I don't know if this is somehow "karma" getting back to me.

So yeah, from the time that we were asked to vacate our precious house, the house full of love, happy, and joyful memories, everything in my life seems to fall apart. And the worst part is, I don't know what to do anymore. I've even tried eating my pride and asking other people for help, but you're indeed going to see the true colors of the people around you when you hit rock bottom.