Kiko

Basic DNI criteria!!

I’m genuinely so terrified right now. I’m going back to an in-person school after not going to one for 3 years. I had to leave due to my mental health being really bad, as well as not being able to handle a lot of the things that come with going to an in-person school (hallways being loud and crowded, cafeterias and assemblies being the same way, I couldn’t talk to people without just shutting down, so I couldn't talk to teachers, I stopped eating because I couldn't force myself to do it with how loud the cafeteria was, I was having frequent panic attacks and making myself really sick to skip school because going was just so bad) I still am like this when I go do things in public places, the amount of times I’ve freaked out in a grocery store is sad; I know it will be like this when I return. And that school was smaller than the one I’m going to now. I’ve been online-schooled most of my life, only having gone to a public school for a few years before switching back, and this is a different school than either of the 2 I was previously at, and the building is huge, there are slightly over 2k students, and I know for a fact that I am not going to be able to handle that. I don’t really know how to deal with it properly. I have unhealthy ways that kind of help, but I’m trying to stop that, so it’s out of the question. I haven’t even been able to go see it because I’m transferring and not enrolling at the beginning of the school year, so I have no idea where anything is. On top of that, I am a visibly alternative and queer person in a largely Christian town in Texas, and bullying was already bad before, when everything it less visible. I don’t want my mental health to get worse. I genuinely cannot handle that right now. I have no idea what to do about any of this.