I MIGHT have untreated adhd, and I MIGHT be a bit more gender-spicy than my ultra femme self previously thought, but I ALSO have college finals. by gods can we put self exploration on pause
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The Genshin Impact fandom is fascinating to me when it comes to fanfics, because I feel like I struggle to find any fics that really *get* the characterization of certain characters and I'm loathed to write my own because dammit I just want to read the specific itch I crave without resorting to creating it. Give me three more months and I'll cave in.
For example, Diluc is one of my favorites and I find his backstory fascinating in terms of his father Crepus possibly being more morally ambiguous than most fans are willing to admit and how little we know of Diluc's murder spree in Snezhnaya.
For example which Harbinger(s) did he have a run-in with? Will we find out more about the secret intelligence network that took him in, that he apparently had a high position in? Did he ever find the answers he was searching for? The list goes on.
It's hard for me to find the specific characterization of him I crave for in fics because I think his platonic relationship with Kaeya is incredibly nuanced and complex but I feel like his character often gets assassinated for Kaeya angst but like, the man had the worst birthday ever?
Imagine being Diluc, living through a literal worst nightmare. Your dad is dead after you failed to protect him yourself. Not only is your dad dead but he died after wielding a delusion--you dont even know what a delusion is but its clearly bad news. Why the fuck did your father have it and how?
On top of this, the Favonius Knights--the organization you proudly served and the very organization that your father heavily encouraged you to serve--insists on covering up the truth because it makes them look bad. The Favonius Knights, who are supposed to be honorable and uphold integrity, are anything but that.
Then your adoptive brother, who you've known for years and trust with your life, shows up and tells you he's been spying for a foreign nation since you were kids with the intent of harming Mondstadt and everything about your relationship is possibly all one big lie and well--how do you not snap??
Now, I'm also incredibly fond of Kaeya and he was just as traumatized by Crepus's death. He was wracked with guilt for *feeling* relieved that he didn't have to worry about betraying his birth father for his adoptive father since Crepus was dead. He anticipated Diluc's anger and felt like their duel was a punishment for his lies.
To me, it hints that Kaeya probably didn't reveal the truth expecting Diluc's understanding, but rather he knew how he would react and perhaps he wanted Diluc to strike him down in that duel. Or at the very least, he wanted to distance himself from Diluc and cut off ties in order to avoid emotional attachment stopping him from his mission.
I personally head-canon that Diluc withdrew upon seeing Kaeya's vision because well--why would the gods bless Kaeya with a vision if he truly had the intent to harm Mondstadt? So in spite of what Kaeya revealed, he isn't a threat. But there's still a lot of hurt there to navigate through.
I think it's fascinating seeing where they stand in present game because Kaeya obviously has the ideology of working the system from within. He stayed in the knights (even taking over his brother's position) and with Jean rooted out the Inspector and his cronies.
Meanwhile Diluc just isn't that type of person. He doesn't settle, he refuses to work in a system he views corrupt, he rather accomplish what he can outside of it. Curiously, he doesn't challenge the status quo beyond being vocal of his distaste of the Knights.
This is head-canon fantasyland, but I like to envision Kaeya and Diluc do use a lot of the same informants and collaborate on intel relating to the safety of Mondstadt (especially since Diluc can move in ways against the Fatui that the Knights can't due to political reasons) but they struggle to have the same connection as before.
For example, Diluc's story quest--Kaeya was essentially giving Diluc an alibi with the Knights. Even if Jean damn well knows who it is, they still have to have official documentation stating otherwise.
Kaeya is good at reading people, he has to be given how he was raised to be a child spy. But I like to think he struggles to read Diluc like before. Diluc is much more jaded, pessimistic, quieter than before. He prefers to work on his own as much as possible. From Kaeya's pov, the only person he's seen Diluc willing to fully trust enough to work alongside with is the Traveler, and he states as much.
The opposite is true of Diluc. Kaeya was his shadow, a quiet but inquisitive, witty observer. Cavalry Captain Kaeya is much more outgoing and friendly, his charm on full display. Did he ever really truly know Kaeya or did he only show Diluc what he wanted him to see? Is Kaeya happier this way?
Fanon often depicts Kaeya as essentially being barred from the dawn winery from the duel by Diluc himself, but I don't think that's quite the case. Much rather, given the reason he told Diluc that night, I think he views himself as undeserving due to unresolved guilt.
Canon seems to hint at all of this through his hangout and Hidden Strife, the latter of which is unfortunately a time-limited event that occurred before I even played (hoyo please stop having heavy lore drops occur in time limited events).
I think the two want to trust each other again, but both are afraid of destroying the tentative truce they have so they leave all of it unaddressed. Kaeya refuses to be completely truthful ever again and Diluc acknowledges the past but refuses to discuss it. The tragedy in their relationship that neither is at fault for what happened--it's a twisted emotional mess of grief and heartbreak.
The last point I'd like to touch on is the parallels between Kaeya and Diluc both being essentially child soldiers for their fathers' causes.
For Kaeya, being abandoned in Mondstadt to be a child spy is the most overt. For Diluc? Despite Crepus's strong ambition to be a Favonius Knight and to have a vision--neither happened for him. In Diluc's vision story, it states that he views his vision being a result of their "shared" ambition, hinting that his vision was granted after Diluc's strong resolve to achieve his father's dreams for him.
We know Crepus heavily encouraged Diluc down this path at very young age, given Diluc received his vision at age 10 and became the youngest Captain at age 14. In some ways, I'm sure Kaeya was a bit jealous of Diluc for having a loving father present in his life that was overtly proud of him.
I am not saying Crepus wasn't a good father, I think he cared immensely for Kaeya and Diluc both, but I do think he did some morally grey shit.
Diluc abandoning his vision is fascinating and it's almost never explored in fics. He is the only vision holder we know of (aside from the Inazumauns whose visions were taken by force) that had their ambition for their vision shaken in such a way that they voluntarily discarded their vision for a time and only took it back after reigniting a new ambition to have it (and as far we know the only allogene that faced no negative setbacks from using a delusion long-term without their vision present).
I don't know where to end all of this, except if you have ragbros fic recommendations that you believe cover it in a more nuanced way, let me know!
Robert (Murph): I am Robert, the Young Stag.
Callie (Emily): Calliope Petrichor, Knight of the Serpent
Calder (Jake): Calder Kilde, also Knight of the Serpent. That was perfect.
[The others laugh.]
Sol (Caldwell): Sol Bufo-- likewise, similarly, Knight of the Serpent
Robert: Knight of the Serpent and the Young Stag. Not bad, not bad.
Sol: Got a ring!
Murph: Um, as he says that, you see-- another halfling man that looks similar to Robert but older, gray mustache and gray hair.
[Emily chuckles]
Murph: His green armor is looking a little tight--
Emily: (amused) Fuck you.
Murph: --he pushes through the crowd--
Emily: I know where this is going! Fuck you!
Murph: (also amused) --to join the Young Stag--
[Caldwell laughs]
Balnor (Murph): Oh, Bobby! There you are!
[Emily and Caldwell cackle in glee]
Jake: (yelling) What? What! What!
Murph: And he looks up at you guys--
Balnor: If he's the young stag, then I guess I'm deer old dad!
[Caldwell, Jake, and Emily laugh]
Balnor: How you guys doing, the name's Balnor!
Caldwell: Ohhh!!
Emily: Fuck you!
Jake: Calder cries. And he doesn't know why.
Murph: You see this timeline's Balnor-- this timeline's Balnor, (smiling audibly) who got to grow up in the Feywild and lived this whole different life than the timeline he was pulled from in Campaign 1--
Emily: (gasps) Woahhh
Murph: --reaches out to greet you. And that's where we'll end our session.
Caldwell: Oooh, god!
Emily: Wooow!
Jake: I climb over everyone to take his hand!
Caldwell: Yeah!
[Everyone laughs]
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where everybody changes their original designation and becomes a different class!
Aisha, Tecna, Flora and Stella are a specialist team.
Aisha is the team leader. She doesn’t want to be — tends to overthink her decisions in the field and is two bad days away from developing a stress ulcer at all times — but needs must, as they say. Codatorta thinks it will prepare her nicely for her future as Andros’ Queen. Aisha mostly thinks about running away to become a forest hermit.
Stella didn’t want to be a specialist at all. Alas, she hadn’t shown a natural inclination towards magic growing up, nor did she try to compensate for it by studying harder. This meant that she couldn’t become a strong fairy or witch. As a compromise, her parents sent her off to the Red Fountain — a very prestigious school where she could earn a fancy title and rub hands with fellow royal heirs & heiresses.
Flora is not a violent person by nature and hates having to resort to fighting. She enrolled in RF because of all of the humanitarian missions the specialists go on: evacuating people in danger, assisting during natural disasters, helping those who were wronged or cursed.
Tecna likes fighting and that’s partly why she enrolled. The adrenaline, the risks, the precarious balance between strategy and improvisation that could turn the tide of battle at any moment. At the end of the day, being a specialist — the team’s brains no less — is all about problem-solving creatively and Tecna loves that.
Bloom is an artificer and master Hagen’s (Faragonda’s) apprentice.
In this AU, Daphne did not pass down her dragon spark to Bloom but hid it in some dark corner of the universe instead. Daphne’s last deed is portaling Bloom to her godfather’s doorstep, the Famed Blacksmith master Hagen. He raises her as his ward and teaches her to craft magical weapons. Bloom grows up knowing who she is and who her family was.
Hagen finally allows Bloom to leave their castle at the age of sixteen, to apprentice under Faragonda’s tutelage and protection.
Sky and Brandon are fairies.
Brandon became a fae because Sky did. He always wanted to be a knight, but once he knew Sky was serious about becoming a fae - Brandon reasoned that the only way he could follow his friend to Alfea was to pursue magic as well.
Musa, Riven and Timmy are a witch coven.
I have no justification for it other than it just feels right. Just three buddies who everybody assumes hate each other because they trade insults as easily as breathing!!! But they don’t!!! They’re just emotionally repressed assholes who barely like anyone other than each other, and have a funny way of showing it.
They probably have matching jackets with their coven insignia or something equally dorky as that.
Nabu is a specialist with no magical powers.
The little lordling learns of his arranged marriage earlier than Aisha does and runs away from home, intent on seeing for himself what kind of girl Aisha is. Lucky for him, there is an open spot on the specialist team where Aisha is the leader! A lot of pining ensues.
Helia is a wizard.
He studies directly under Saladin. Helia has his own teachers and trains separately from the rest of RF, for the most part. He is Saladin’s chosen heir; has been groomed to take over his grandfather’s seat in the Company of Light for years now.
He is also — kind of miserable. It’s not the kind of life Helia wants for himself. But he also loves Saladin and would do anything to make him happy. So wizard it is! For now, at least.
The Trix are fairies who believe that they deserve to be the next guardians of the Dragon Flame.
The relationship of Tecna and Timmy is so romantic.
It may be not as visible, because the show has couples being romantic in a more classical way, but Timmy and Tecna actually have so many tender, gentle and vulnerable moments. They are so sweet together, and awkward, and then out of nowhere hit you with the deepest scenes imaginable. They are so Jane-Austen's-characters'-coded lol.
Like this short scene of a game from season 2 (first gif)??? This is so romantic and sensual, you wouldn't expect it from them.
Their conflict in the second season was that Tecna at first cared about rather performative bravery (literal fighting, close combat) + wanted something more than just talking about their hyperfixation. Timmy, on the other hand, thought in a more logical way: he knew his strengths, and that he's better at strategy and computers, and wasn't interested in posing as a hero just to feel good about himself (this scene where he realizes he isn't strong enough against Trix and so he gives away the Codex). He also wanted to get closer to Tecna, so it makes sense he tried to connect on their common hobby, at first not realizing that Tecna, with her emotional growth, started to want a little more than this. And you can understand them both, and both have good points.
And Timmy is a freaking badass. He always thinks logically (I'd argue that even more than Tecna, like this scene with Codex, where she called him a coward for not doing something that was doomed from the start), and so the scene in the third season hits so much. You know which one. All Winx cry and Riven tries to comfort Timmy (I really like the fact it's Riven who does that btw, but this is a material for another post), trying to bring reason to him, politely saying that there's no way Tecna is still alive, and Timmy says in a calm and sure way that he knows she is alive. If Timmy says something like that, you know he's right.
I guess the scene from the second season, when Winx go to fight Lord Darkar and specialists stay at the back, sums up their relationship in the best way: Timmy stays inside the ship, because it is his role to navigate it, and he and Tecna look at each other, just sighing each other's names (though they cannot hear it). Their love is so, so deep. And a relationship like the one they have wouldn't fit everyone, since both of them don't need to spend as much time together as others, nor do they have to say as much (but if they say how much they love each other, oh they say it), and they both share their hyperfixation/special interest, but all of this works perfectly for them. They're a match made in heaven. And come to think of that, we have this popular fanon that Tecna is on the spectrum of autism, but I wonder if there is any fanon like this for Timmy? I also feel like being demisexual or graysexual fits them both (maybe I just like the idea of Tecna, a character whose main arc is understanding and expressing emotions, feeling sexual desire only to someone who she has a strong connection with, I guess it feels kinda poetic to me).
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A lovely woman in Gaza by the name of Samira Al-Habil has been displaced about nine times in this genocide, her house was already destroyed in the vicinity of Al-Shifa Hospital. Right now she resides in Al-Zawaida but she’s also pregnant and suffering from asthma. Along with having three children she also lost her husband while being displaced and she has no clue where he could be. This is the suffering that most Palestinians are going through, but she doesn’t have to suffer. PLEASE donate to her gofund me and if you can’t then please interact with this so that way people who CAN donate see this. Her campaign is so far from its goal. Thank you
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The whole point of Bahumia, and Naddpod and its worlds, is that the ones who fail are more times than not the ones who tried to do it alone. The ones who wanted to protect others, without putting them in notice, without their input.
And the ones who succeed, the ones who can protect the others, are those who trust that other enough to accept them to go together. To rely on each other.
You can carry the meemaw burden, for sure. Maybe even succeed with it. But you can only truly move forward if that burden is shared, if you trust, if you love, and if you let yourself be loved.
Staying silent, not reaching for a hand, will more than sure being your demise, but then the love and the community can hold you, and you're stronger that way. Together. And you gotta bite your teeth and accept that help. Ask for that help.
Is particularly hard on Riven to get him to achieve “his potential”.
Does look after the younger man, though: makes sure he always has a place to go to once the school goes on break, invites him for dinner with Codatorta’s family on holidays, etc.
Riven is the only one who doesn’t know that he is Codatorta’s real favourite.
Codatorta & Nabu:
Doesn’t even try to hide how much better he thinks Nabu is compared to his students.
”You all should be more like Nabu” this, “I want Nabu to enrol in Red Fountain, please please please” that
Nabu calls Codatorta “daddy 🥺” jokingly and although the older man yells at him for it, he is the only one who doesn’t get beaten up for name-calling.
Codatorta & Helia:
A very respectful, caring relationship.
Although Codatorta at least tries to appear professional with the rest of the gang, he gives up all pretences with Helia.
C’mon, he has known the younger man since the latter was a kid in diapers. Seen him go through hardships, make mistakes and flourish in spite of them. How could he pretend to be anything but wholly on Helia’s side?
Protective of Helia like a little brother. In turn, Helia cares for Codatorta and looks up to him.
Codatorta & Timmy:
the bemused mentor & the over-achieving, comedically ill-timed mentee.
For a long time, Codatorta dismisses Timmy for one of the rich kids who are in it for the rank and the mantle, and treats him coolly.
Timmy desperately tries to prove himself — but because he is so edge around Codatorta, only makes the impression worse. Amy Santiago style.
Only when Timmy stops caring about Codatorta’s opinion and really comes into his own as a specialist — being his quietly bad-ass, confident self — only then does Codatorta start to respect him.
They don’t speak of the shift in their dynamic, but Codatorta begins to entrust Timmy with more challenging tasks and relies on his insight more.
Codatorta & Brandon:
The tired grump dad & the middle child.
Codatorta does actually like Brandon and thinks he makes for a very honourable specialist
But he hates hates hates Brandon’s clown-assery.
Most of their interactions are Brandon trying to be/being funny and Codatorta punishing him for it (and for the man’s ongoing headaches) with exercises.
Once in a blue moon, they do have sincere moments, where both learn a bit from each other.
Codatorta & Sky:
Some (Riven) might mistake Sky for Codatorta’s favourite, because the older man dedicates a lot of his personal time to teaching & advising the prince.
But this is mostly because Sky is one of the only princes, and heirs to a significant empires at that, under Codatorta’s care - and he wants his charge to become a decent man before he inherits the throne.
So Codatorta tries to make Sky wise, selfless, smart, a leader
But Sky is also stubborn as fuck and is responsible for half of Codatorta’s grey heirs alone — so heck no, he is not the favourite .
so to summarise:
all the interactions between Codatorta and the specialists are, of course, Platonic.
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