kierexy3

maybe i have issues because “little pickers wear bigger knickers” has been ingrained in my mind since i was a kid by my own mother

someone tell me not to have dinner so i don’t ruin my 60 hour fast i’m nearly there :)

it took me so long to go from “i just want to eat like a normal human” to actually doing so and then i fucked it all up in a day because i wanted the control back so badly. back to “i just want to eat like a normal human” again i guess

i’ve had 700 calories today purely from monsters and smoothies to stop my stomach rumbling in these damn exams😩 i’ll really do anything but eat huh 💀

i left because i thought i finally wanted to recover, yeah turns out i don’t <3

oh to have a defined jawline and bone structure in my face 😌

why can’t i just forget to eat? like other people say “oh i haven’t eaten today i just forgot” and i’m like?? i think about food 24/7 and have to forcefully stop myself all day, even breakfast is always a conscious decision to skip it i just want to forget 😩

i used to get stuck in the loop of eating to basically reward my self for not eating (i’m delusional i know) but then i realised that, it’s a bit like quitting smoking then rewarding yourself by having a fag... anyways moral of the story i found other ways of rewarding myself which didn’t back track my progress and/or make me feel guilty af 🤍

anyone want to swap brains? 💤

just had a major cheat day send help, and laxatives

when will i stop? when i can 👌🏻 my arms 🤗

i’d sound deluded if i said this out loud but i genuinely think dessert is one of my biggest fears

been eating 100-400 cals for the past week it’s so easy for some reason, also my dads girlfriend just had a baby like two days ago so i’ve been able to distract myself, and her from me not eating, my dad questions me when i get back from school every day but he’s dumb af so he just believes me when i tell him i ate :) today i had some chicken nugget things and fruit salad. going pretty well ☺️