APPLY DIRECTLY TO EYES

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

we must invent a way to access the 3 beers mindset while having 0 beers

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

cannot understand why people like youtubers who are yelling the entire time. why do you let that man raise his voice at you.

youre pissing me off

I brought 2 cans of Dr. Pepper to a friend's party and we poured them into a saucepan to make hot Dr. Pepper, but it turned out we didn't like hot Dr. Pepper so we decided to keep it on the burner and reduce it down to Dr. Pepper syrup and then mixed that with soda water to make reconstituted Dr. Pepper, which it turned out we also didn't like

don't worry about me when I say this but I think in a way being hunted for sport would be a relief. my nervous system would be like, wow. finally, a proportional reaction