I don't want to be this type of animal

if you ever bouncing your leg or shaking your foot that bc you were borned without a tail to swish swish...

I really hope attenborough just keeps going, I hope he hits 200 but everyone is too nervous to like bring it up or study him or whatever cuz it's david attenborough

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

Love when people accidentally recreate the meme like with the "fuck this post and happy birthday Sonic" one

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

never have I ever thought "he would not fucking say that" about harry du bois. he just says whatever. in fact, he probably has said that!

ive killed a thousand versions of myself to be this calm

Yall don’t even know fr

Heated rivalry shouldve been about 2 ugly old guys that play mahjong then maybe id consider watching it