of lonely hearts and frustrated measures @khaleesyd - Tumblr Blog

Goodbye and thank you.

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anna-learns-to-love-herself

If I take a picture of myself now, it’s not a “before” or “after” picture anymore. It’s not a “work in progress” picture. I am not a work in progress. I am not waiting for this magical day anymore where “I will finally be there”. Be where? At my goal weight? What was I thinking, what would happen on this magical day, that day where I finally succeed, after a long fight, after a journey of forcefully shaping my body into something society considers beautiful, something that is so temporary and so not important. People became jealous of me being so “determined and disciplined” during my worst times and Jillian Michaels would have been proud of me, because no excuse would have counted. I didn’t wanna be a quitter. I wanted to feel successful and in charge for once in my life. I was risking my physical and ruining my mental health in order to look a certain way. Today it makes me feel sick to my stomach to think about all the things I have done to myself. So many of us fight this daily battle that is incredibly energy consuming, We constantly need to get better, sexier, smarter, more chill, more spontaneous, thinner, more toned, more outgoing, more firm, more this, more that. And what for? I can only speak for myself, but if I’m being 100% true to myself, all I really wanted was to be seen and loved. I wanted to be worth something, I wanted to matter.

Dear body, i deeply, genuinely apologise. I promise to make up for all the shit I’ve put you through. I promise to stop wasting so much energy on trying to optimise, change and adjust you. I also promise to use this energy to take care of you instead. I won’t allow myself to do this to you any longer. You deserve the best possible treatment. From now on, you’re not a work in progress anymore. I am there. I’m existing, I’m breathing, I’m loving and I am living. That’s all I need.

If I take a picture of myself, it’s not a “before” or “after” picture anymore. It’s a picture of the one precious, adorable, magical, fantastic body I have in this very given moment. And I am simply grateful for everything my body allows me to do.

#note to self

Abi’s Seventeenth

January 29th is the day of my dearest friend Abi. Since our schedule did not work for all of us to celebrate it on that day, she had to move it on a Saturday, January 30.

Unfortunately, I have Saturday classes. So instead of being in their house earlier, I was still in the uni (thinking how long the travel time will be until I arrive) when most of the squad is already with her. Sad me is sad. I’m telling you, the schedule I have for this semester is the fucking worst. Imagine having three 3-hour classes, bonus point is that my last class is a major subject. The worst, I am telling you. Just a few more months and I’ll be done with this. #StayStrongLeila

Backtracking to what happened last night –my high school friends are still the best bunch I’ve met in my life. Those words are now truer after last night’s semi-get-together and semi-birthday celebration. Almost half of my high school friends are there to celebrate Abi’s birthday. Too bad, I got to her place late that I had less time to bond with others. Actually it was so bad, and sad, because I missed them SO MUCH. I did not think I will ever miss them so much, but last night made me feel that way. We consider this moment now, as a rare moment. This is like a test wherein the people who stay with you, will always be with you. And I’d like to think that this bunch of dolts are those kind of people. :)

Happy Birthday Abi-girlash! You go and have the best days of your life, yes?

#YagitKiddos

Update: Cut to 2019, she’s a Registered Psychometrician now. I’m so proud of her 🥰

#everything leila #personal #yagit

coalture-shock-deactivated20140

The mouth should have three gatekeepers. Is it true? Is it kind? And is it necessary?

Arab proverb (via miaoin)

#quote

roleplayiing-memes

coldplay (a head full of dreams); starter sentences.

“I don’t know what I mean.”

“It’s not what it seems.”

“Be what you want to be.”

“I guess I better stay.”

“I won’t see you again.”

“Start falling in love.”

“We don’t need words.”

“Come on, it’s not over!”

“Won’t you take me too?”

“You know you make my world light up.”

“Life is a drink, and love’s a drug.”

“I feel it coursing through my blood.”

“I know that you’re with me.”

“What I wouldn’t give for just a moment to hold.”

“I live for this feeling.”

“If you love someone, you should let them know.”

“Everything you want’s a dream away.”

“You make me feel like I’m alive again.”

“I’m a dream that died by light of day.”

“We are diamonds taking shape.”

“Didn’t we have fun?”

“Been around the world, looking for someone like you.”

“My army of one is gonna fight for you.”

“Wherever you are, I’ll find that treasure.”

“Life has a beautiful, crazy design.”

“Forget the world and its weight.”

“How can people suffer? How can people part?”

“Don’t ever give up.”

“Believe in love.”

#coldplay #ahfod

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mysticmoongurl

When I’m 80 years old and sitting in my rocking chair, I’ll be reading Harry Potter. And my family will say to me, ‘After all this time?’ And I will say, ‘Always.’

Alan Rickman (via mysticmoongurl)

#rip alan rickman #he didnt say that

valedasborboletas

Happy Birthday Xylobands!

#coldplay #xylobands

thegirlwhocrieswolf

New piece, hope you like it! xo Lang

………….

My NEW book Memories is now available via Amazon, BN.com + The Book Depository and bookstores worldwide.

#poetry

Day 52 - A picture of you on your last vacation

#100 Day Picture Challenge #day52 #everything leila #dorkface #the wuuuurst #summer #vacation

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As I’ve posted last night, I am going to post a short update today.

Okay so the reason why 100DPC and other updates were postponed was because of the holidays. Our family was so busy these past few (holi)days that we barely stay at home for no longer than 24 hours. One day, we’re at my sister’s side of the family, then with my great grandparents, and to my auntie the next. And next thing I know, we’re all at my aunt’s house celebrating NYE. And now we’re on the fifth day of 2016. My classes just resumed today, and I think more busy days are about to come. So bare with me if you can. Updates will come as often as I can. Happy New Year Ya’ll!

#personal

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Day 51 - A picture of you and your best friend(s)

My two sets of best friends. Given and chosen. By blood and by… food?? 😁

#100 Day Picture Challenge #day51 #everything leila #family #friends

-

Yes, hello! I am back! Will post a 100DPC later, then I will write up some update tomorrow! 😘

-

100 Day Picture Challenge, so is my blogging, has been postponed because things came up. Will be back in a few days. Love you all mwaa

#personal

Day 50 - A picture of the last movie you saw in theaters

My ultimate reel-life OTP. Yes, sorry I haven’t watch any film after them.

One More Chance and this movie has been our gang’s movie. Out of the nowhere, we watched OMC all together, then it went on from there. There are times where we just want to watch it because we’re all clingy little shits.

#100 Day Picture Challenge #day50 #everything leila #a second chance #john lloyd cruz #bea alonzo

Day 46 - A picture of your favorite animal

DOGS! They are the best thing that God made! Yes, that is me being biased.

#100 day picture challenge #day47 #everything leila #photography: ctto (found it in google)#dogs #animals

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Me to my next entry: Are you worthy enough to be posted?

*laughing at myself because as I keep on reading it, it gets less and less interesting.

EDIT: it’s not worth it. I’ll just keep it to myself and to the people whom I am with at that moment. It’s better that way.

#personal

Day 41 - A picture of your favorite sport

And no. It’s not because there are hot guys, but because this is the only sport I enjoy. Yes, I do enjoy watching volleyball or basketball or any other sports, but when I’m the one playing in it, my person is not happy. I am not happy.

#100 Day Picture Challenge #day41 #everything leila #swimming

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of lonely hearts and frustrated measures