Hey, It's Kezsh.

He looked at her the way all girls wanted to be looked at.

You won’t agree, don’t read.// painfulthoughts IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN NEVER. If it’s not her you have plans to patiently endure with, never get into her world. Never trigger that overthinking machine that is into slumber in her mind. Yes, not an overthinker. Even during the first thing in the morning, she will struggle for hours thinking why she didn’t receive any good mornings. She will eat breakfast with scenarios in her head that she must have done something wrong last night that you tried to ignore her. She may even think that probably you changed your mind, and you woke up unrealistically realizing you’re no longer into her. And when you’ll meet on lunch, she will analyze the gestures you pose, the facial expressions you give to her, the size of the smiles you stretch all over your face and she would think all of it means something. Yes, not an overthinker. You will die explaining that those petty things don’t matter. It is because she has it in her mind that all of it means something. And on the afternoon, she would walk into her room thinking is she suffocating you or was she so clingy or were you glad spending time with her. Or… Yes, not an overthinker because she has endless maze of things chaotically settling her mind. At night, she’ll call you saying hi and what you are doing, you would shut her off, and she would constantly ask you if you’re okay, and repeatedly say she loves you waiting for you to say you love her back. She’ll cry with the smallest thing because replying to her question of “Do you still love me” needs a team of experts to whether where to put the punctuations, what words to use because she would study and would spend the night deciphering what does the period or the texts mean. And she’ll cry, and cry, and cry. Because maybe, you’re saying it because it’s obligatory. And then you’ll leave, and even months after that, she would still wake up each morning asking herself, “Did I lack in loving? Was it too much? What did I do? And endless questions will mushroom into her thoughts including the thought, Why did he even had me in the first place? It should have been never.