Years pass so fast and we’re orbiting and orbiting. Time stops for nothing. For no one. The days are so long yet the years are so short. Losing friends, losing family. Hope was abolished many moons ago. I was betrayed again, and again, and again. The physical price of the mental suffering I’ve done is finally being paid in full. The pain in my chest when I saw what I saw nearly killed me on the side of a road. Shattered again. Reduced me to that same scared child. Now your displaced anger is as palpable. Why do people take out their rage on the people who have never wavered in their love, kindness, and support? Why can’t my brain comprehend that some people truly do love to cause someone to slowly die? My heart and chest haven’t stopped hurting since Sunday morning. If I never post again, it will be from not enduring, not being superhuman. My body is overflowing with pain and everyone around me just keeps the tap running full blast. I’ve never felt so much rage for my babies. They never deserved to have their world blown apart by a sorry, drunk man who couldn’t love himself or anyone or anything else but the booze. So many night screaming at me that since he only drinks beer that he’s not an alcoholic. Even when 4 a day turned into 24+. And I suppose he’d have some other explanation now that he’s slowly started drinking move liquor. Somehow the entire fault alone would be mine I’m sure.
