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For those who don’t have waffle houses, this is what they are for

Being born is a death sentence

Fake pockets

Just remember: even if you can’t slay dragons and shoot fireballs from your hands, you can step over small objects in your path, and that makes you more badass than a lot of video game characters.

#curse you waist high insurmountable fence

When you the master roaster but you in a professional setting but someone slip up and you instinctively fire on they ass

don’t stare at the moon too long or else you’ll remember that nothing in this stupid fucking world makes sense

this is truly modern art, three assistive touch icons, pixelated from the amount of screenshots, probably thrown through some shitty android as well, about an event that was merely hours ago. amazing.

i can’t wait to see the April Fools surprise tumblr has spent all year coding

its gonna be a reply button so everyone will think replies are back but when you click it your computer catches on fire