KendraValentine

ummmmmmmm this post is missing his best picture

This year has been awful. But this year has been incredible. Through all the pain I’ve realised who I am and who I aspire to be. I’ve noticed who I want and need to be around and how hard I need to work to be the person I want to be. No amount of criticism or hate can change the determination I have to become someone people will look up to, and though I know the journey will not be easy, I believe someday I can be the a role model to children, like others were for me. Because, without them, without the people who inspire me to achieve, I wouldn’t have any goals to reach for. This year was like a blur of insecurity and feelings of not being accepted and included. It was hard. I pushed myself to limits I had never even glanced at before, working harder everyday to make sure it was better than the last. I tried. I tried again. Every time I failed, I didn’t think of it as another step towards failure, I thought of it as another step towards success. Eventually I know I will get there, to a place I am comfortable, to a place I am happy. But for now- I guess I’ll just keep trying. And in the end everything will be worth it. I thank everyone who has ever made a difference to my life. To the people who never believed in me and showed me exactly the type of person I didn’t want to be like, and to the people who constantly influence the way I act in a positive way. Thank you mostly to the role models, the people who I want to be. Not celebrities or rich, wealthy people. Not the fake, power-hungry, fame crazed people who revolve their entire lives around money and media. But generally just those kind, nice people who make me smile. Thank you to those people who do not care if society has decided that, that is not the way they should look or talk or behave- but they do it anyway, because they want to. There should be more people like them, instead of photoshopped celebrities in the media, but people who have made many people (included me) realise that sexuality, gender, and faith is all a choice any human should be allowed to take. And not one person is allowed to tell them that that choice is not the right one. Thank you, for letting me realise that. That is what made this year incredible.

It was real. Somewhere between the stars, the lights, and the long walk home I discovered that what we had was real. Was. For a long time I wondered if, while walking by my side, you ever saw it that way, that we had every chance to make it. I saw each footstep we left behind being absorbed, disappearing instantly into collecting pools of water that erased all evidence of our being there. I wondered if the words I spoke to you were more like our footsteps, or the rain; if they covered up the scar of words that foot stepped across your heart, left by those who tried to walk the same uncertain path before me, or if they joined them. I stepped, I spoke, I stopped, and your words fell like rain.

there are a lot more “first times” worth remembering than your first time having sex do you remember the first time you laughed so hard you cried or do you remember the first time you stayed up past midnight talking about your life with someone you love do you remember the first cup of coffee you ever had or do you remember the first time you looked into someone’s eyes do you remember your first day of school or do you remember your first day after finishing public school do you remember the first time you felt sand between your toes and do you remember the first time you realized you were going to be okay do you remember the first time you felt unstoppable and do you remember the first time you did something solely for your own happiness do you remember the first time you stopped to smell a flower and do you remember the first time you cried while reading a book do you remember because i don’t but i remember my first time having sex and i can almost promise you that it didn’t compare to any of these other firsts

When I met you, flowers started growing in the darkest parts of my mind.

Hey

I am sick because I love you. Because I can’t stop loving you. Because I can’t see anyone else. Because I see your face, And my entirety melts. I am weak because I love you. Because I miss your hands Your skin Your mouth Your smell. Because you hold my heart My gaze My mind My shell. I am cold because I love you. Because you will not let me love you. Because I wish to love you deeply. Because I see you’re not all gone. Because you’re trapped and can’t love freely. Because I’m singing all your songs. I ache because I love you. Because I miss your heartbeat Your breath Your warmth Your burn. Because I cannot run Nor hide Nor change Nor turn Over memories in darkness With your voice that I so miss, And I know How I’d shake With just one kiss; How I’d break If we left this; How I’d wake up and sing from my soul Just to know That you finally Feel Whole.

She’s so dark with a cold heart but I want to break into her hidden parts because I’m loving the thrill of chasing after her love.