I preferred it before...

getting ready is physically a 15min task but emotionally, anywhere between 30min to 5 hours

Octopuses are going to kill us all someday

My friend who worked at Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Nebraska had a similar story.  Rare fish were disappearing, they suspected theft, and so set up a camera. An octopus was unlocking the top of its tank, walking across the suspended walkway, unlocking the other tank, eating his fill, re-locking the other tank, then re-locking its own tank.

I can’t remember what zoo this happened at, but there was another octopus somewhere who was unscrewing a water valve in the room where its tank was located and routinely flooding the place. The staffers had no idea what it was until they filmed the octopus caught in the act.

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!! But, sir, it has already released itself!

My dad worked in a lab and one of the rooms had a tank with an octopus in it. If they didn’t go play with the octopus he got bored and would climb out of his tank and steal the paperwork off the desks, and drag stuff into his tank to let the scientists know he was upset with them.

Let them be free! 

I read a story where after this octopus was feed shrimp, it found one that was bad. So it let himself out of his tank and walked across the building to the office of the guy who fed him and threw the bad shrimp at him and walked back to his tank

so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night

he looks like colonel sanders

tumblr is the only social media site where it’s completely useless to have a lot of followers

as much as I hate buzzfeed and their pitiful version of “journalism”, let it be clear that if they asked me to come work for them I would sell out immediately and forget everything I know about creative writing in favor of getting a fat salary for copying and pasting gifs from 16-year-olds’ blogs and calling it an article

no offence but i wanna be so fucking happy in 2018

do u ever see a theory and ur like ‘nah the writers aren’t that clever’

I’m the dude continuously playing the guitar

an icon

Now I can’t help but imagine a 60 year old seriel killer at a millenials door waiting, mad as fuck, checking his watch , and leaving out of frustration and writes a blog post about how millenials are ruining this country

Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?