Hello

(feel free to add your own favorites)

“I ate a man alive tonight.”

“Time to manhandle this…man-handle.”

“Larry King’s decapitated wax head wants num-nums.”

“Darn beautiful men, always eating out of the trash…wait, what?”

“And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for like three hours! Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk.”

“Jean-Paul Sartre postulated that every living thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.” “Totally righteous, bro!” “I know!”

“The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand!”

“Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!”

“Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?! Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!”

“You deserve a prize. Here, have a head that’s always screaming!”

“Studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own ten guns–in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!”