Kelsey Robinson

There is was again, that all familiar bubbling feeling in Kelsey’s stomach, like jumping beans trying to escape as she shakily applied pale pink eyeliner trying not to smudge it too badly. Valentines day was usually the kind of holiday that passed her by without so much as a second thought, Galentines day on the other hand? Well that had been more her speed for the last couple of years. Buying or drawing things for her best friends to make sure they knew how loved they were, but this year was different. The weekend with Keys in LA had somewhat cemented their relationship into something more ‘formal’ if that word could even be used when it came to the two of them, since they existed in her eyes on their own plane of relationship definition. Who told their boyfriend they loved them for the first time at the side of their sister’s grave? Kelsey Robinson did apparently. As strange as that was it felt intrinsically right to her - for them. Even without trying they’d managed to be different from the rest of the world in a whole other level, making their own way to where they needed to be.

Tonight though she was quite literally concealing a huge secret from him under her shirt. As soon as they’d returned from LA she’d gone the next day to the tattoo parlour to put into action her plan for his Valentines day gift. Some would call it stupid, foolish to get something etched onto her body that was a signifier of a relationship that no one could be certain would last, but Kelsey didn’t care about that. Firstly she couldn’t see an instance where the pair failed, it was a foreign concept really, but secondly she saw nothing wrong with a permanent reminder of everything she and Keys shared. Even if they crashed and burned that wouldn’t erase the happy times where she felt like she was walking on air through showers of stars while holding his hand. It wouldn’t take away the memory of his soft brown eyes gazing at her when her own fluttered open in the morning, or how his lips brushing against the mole on her cheek always sent a ripple of shivers down her spine making her lips stretch out into a perfectly calm smile. None of those things would change, and she wanted a reminder of them whenever she looked at herself. 

Having spent hours working on the design of The Creation of Adam hands but interchanged with replications of her own and Keys’ she’d finally managed to get it perfectly placed across the scarring under her left breast. Even now as she looked in the mirror one last time it tingled making its presence known as it finished healing. At a point now where it looked good instead of like a freshly tattooed scabby mess - that wouldn’t have been particularly romantic to show him after all. There was part of her that knew whatever happened it would be exactly the evening she and Keys deserved because somehow they seemed to have a way of always making sure things fell into place, even by dumb luck, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to do everything she could to nudge things in that direction. The knock on her front door was the signal he’d arrived, Kelsey had asked if they could just do something at home - her home - specifically so she could show him her special rather private gift for him. After all she was in a rather revealing crop top to give easy access to the newly tattooed area and it probably wasn’t something she should really be wearing to a public space. It was actually more like a bra than anything. On top of that the weekend at the Grammy awards had been so extravagant with Keys spending so much money on her that she couldn’t bare the idea of him doing that all over again so quickly. Making sure her shoes were on properly even as she was making her way to the door the blonde did a kind of skipping hop to get there, yanking it open with a grin that might as well be made of fireworks, the delight at seeing him evident from space. Without saying anything her hands went behind his neck so she could pull her boyfriend in for a kiss, pressing herself up against him. “Happy Valentines day.” She whispered once she finally pulled away enough to speak. @ofmckeys

👾  

His birthday falling on valentines day always seemed like nothing but a curse. The day he was born being dedicated to reminding him year after year that he had no one to celebrate much of anything with seemed like a fitting slight on top of the rest of the knives life seemed to throw at him from the moment he was born. It’s why, once he had the means, he spent every year on his birthday doing some sort of volunteering. It was one of the things that actually made him happy to do, especially when he got to work with kids and animals. Entertaining kids with crafts and teaching them arts and instruments, or bathing and bottle feeding animals, wasn’t something he reserved exclusively for his birthday, even though it was the day he looked forward to doing it most. It replaced the sense of having nowhere to be with empathy and purpose. It was the moments in between the rest of the chaos in his life he clung too. But today, for the first time, he actually had a valentine. Someone of his very own to share his birthday with. The most special person in the world, he was entirely convinced, at that.

The occasion was so special an overwhelming to him, he’d spent the day rather quietly trying to get his present together. He’d spent the past year leaving presents and letters outside her door anonymously, but this was completely different. That was when he believed it impossible for the two of them to ever be together to the degree that he’d settled for remaining unknown, as long as it meant he could let her know how loved she was, even if from afar. Now here she was swinging the door open for him as he stands excited and nervous. Just the sound of her feet padding excitedly to the door causes him to smile and when she opens it, the breath leaves his lungs and without thinking, his arms wrap around her slender frame. Lifting her gently from the ground as he embraces and kisses her, he takes a few steps into the place, gently kicking the door closed behind him. This is better than anything he could have ever imagined about not only being in love, but having someone to share it with at all. Just the feeling of her in his arms is the closest thing to complete he already knows he’ll ever feel.

Keys giggles into the kiss, lips slide happily along hers as he walks, carries her further into the apartment. When he sets her down and she looks up at him, he can’t help but lean forward again, scattering kisses across her face as he mumbles in return. “Happy valentines day, starshine.” Pulling back a little more, just to shrug the backpack from his shoulders, he finally notices what she’s wearing. The crop top far more daring than her usual affair. In fact his lips part as his jaw falls slightly open at the sight of her breasts half hanging out her shirt. Something that almost causes him to grin mischievously in response at the thought that she’d have put something like that on for him, until he notices the design on her ribcage. At first his brow furrows, a look of concern thinking she may have hurt herself as he bends immediately to take a closer look. When he realizes it’s another tattoo, there’s immediate relief and a slight smile again. He loves tracing and kissing the details of her others already, the excitement at seeing it at first is based on that and hearing her tell the story about what it means and how it came to be immediately bubble forth, without even knowing a lick of context. He’s just happy for her, knowing how much the art on her body means to her. “You got this one over one of your stories…” Still smiling, he observes softly as he reaches out and delicately traces a thumb over the drawing. Keys bends and squints tryingtrying to take in the details for a few moments before making a gruff noise and wrapping large hands around her waist, scooping her up with a twirl and a laugh before playfully carrying her over to the couch where they can sit and he can get a better look.

Once she’d pulled back to let him look once more at the tattoo that was clearly visible under the scraps of material she was passing off as a top, her eyes took him in hungrily to see if she could spot any kind of recognition in the forms of the fingers or hands, but counting on nothing. It was of course so subtle. She’d weaved things that made them intrinsically them together with the classic design so that it wouldn’t be obvious to any but those privy what the special meaning behind the tattoo was, so they could keep it as theirs. “Delicate…maybe….a bit…” She murmured, hand moving to rest over his as it traced the arm, moving it across to the other hand smoothly. “And this hand…look at it, it’s the hand of someone who knows how to play music, how to turn words and sounds into works of art. It’s soft too but it’s strong.” Eyes flicking up to look at his face, still feeling the flutter of her heart in her chest not pausing for even a moment. 

“I designed the tattoo myself. I drew it, using real people as the muse.” Drip feeding the information so as not to overwhelm him too much all in one go - after all getting a tattoo of your partners hand so soon into the relationship might be too far for many people. Hopefully Keys was not one of those people. All Kelsey wanted was to see that winning smile spread across his lips once more the way she’d seen it do so many times, lighting up his eyes, making the corners of them crinkle as his glasses slipped down his nose. If that sight was edible it would be the most coveted dish in the world. “This hand on the left is my hand, you see how the wrist goes in slightly there like mine does? I used a photo from last weekend in LA that you took of me, worked on it on the plane home. You were napping like a cute little puppy.” Ducking to press her lips against his softly, a whisper of a kiss, the hairs on her arms standing up with the prickle of desire. “Then the other hand, I used a photo I took inspiration from a photo I found online, on a very specific instagram actually. It’s probably someone you know - I’m surprised you don’t recognise it since you’re tracing the lines with the exact hand that provided the inspiration.” Sitting up to deduce if he was putting two and two together. Understanding that the hands on her ribs belonged to the two of them. “The hands are reaching out for each other for the rest of eternity because no matter how far the gap feels between them they know they only need to reach out and they’ll find exactly who they’re looking for. It covers my scar because that is part of the old me, but you? You are the part of the new me. We. It is our hands. We are the story now. Do you like it?” This was only one of the many gifts she’d gotten for him today but it was the one she was most anticipating giving him after all. 

“You’re teaching him Russian? What a lucky little boy, how old is he?” Kelsey asked enthusiastically, one of the things she wished was that she knew another language because reading translations of literature was never as good as it being in the mother tongue of the author she was sure of it. “It’s just in the back here, we have various different languages but I’m not sure what we have in stock in Russian for kids, if anything.” In fact she was pretty much certain they didn’t have any Russian children books  but it was important to make the effort to look. “We can always order you something as well - if you know of any you particularly want.” 

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Kelsey loved working Libreria because it meant she got to interact with all kinds of people on a daily basis, as well as being surrounded by books. One of her favourite things. Plus the cafe aspect made the entire place smell like fresh coffee all day which was beyond delicious, it made going to work a joy nine times out of ten, which most people didn’t get to say about what they did. Some people might see it as a ‘filler’ job but Kelsey didn’t, she poured her heart and soul into it. “Hi, welcome!” She beamed at the blonde who had walked in holding a baby, looking down at him for a second before her eyes flicked back up to his mother. “Russian books? Why don’t we go to the foreign languages section and have a look. Is there a specific one you’re looking for?” She chatted conversationally while leading her across to a bookshelf in the back corner. 

❄

𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 of these bookstores, this is the third place she entered, with her son, attached to her body in a baby sling. There is something specific she was looking for, a childish Russian book. She was teaching her son how to speak Russian, giving a bit of her culture to him. Sasha was quiet, sucking his pacifier, as she back to look at the shelves until she noticed a blonde. ❛ Hello. Do you have any Russian books? ❜

The look on Keys face as he turned around caused her heart to feel like it had just taken flight straight out of her chest. The whole weekend had been akin to living on a cloud even with the nerves that walking alongside him at a huge event like this elicited from, but when the blonde looked into her boyfriend’s eyes she felt every intrusive thought of what could go wrong fall silent. The warmth his gaze held as it locked with her made her feel like he’d just enveloped her in a warm hug even from several steps away, the breath she’d been holding in her chest finally let go in a rush. Teeth sinking softly into her bottom lip the pop rocks in her stomach bubbled up into her throat along with the smile that spread out across every inch of her face, flushing a hot pink under his approving gaze. “I haven’t fallen down the stairs in these heels yet so…it’s going well so far right?” She joked with a tinkling laugh her hand gripping hold on his when it landed in her own. Nothing him tearing up the first reaction was a look of concern because Kelsey was genuinely worried she might have upset him, not prepared at all for the words that followed. Words she’d never in a million years expected to hear. Not already. Not tonight. Except there it was right in front of her, falling from his lips, the word she hadn’t been able to put her finger on thus far. The one he’d told her would come to her in time - there is was. Love. 

“You look so handsome.” She whispered just before his lips pressed against hers and she could smooth her hands across his shoulders to wrap her arms tightly around his neck. Deepening the kiss, silently grateful that the make up artist he’d hired for her had decided to put her lipgloss on after they left, because if she hadn’t it would all be gone by now. Hands exploring the back of Keys head for a couple of seconds before remembering they were meant to be going to a very important event, a team of people had been working on him, she shouldn’t be messing up their handiwork in a matter of seconds. “Are you real?” She murmured against his lips as the tip of her nose brushed against his. Feeling the rasp of his breath on her lips from a millimetre away, her smiling lips, beaming even. If there was a way to bottle the moment they were in now the two of them could have made a fortune marketing it as pure unadulterated joy because that was the only feeling in her heart. It was screaming at her internally to tell him she loved him back but the overwhelming situation they were in wouldn’t let the words fall from her lips, as much as they were ringing out in her head. Instead she tried to show him with the way she held onto him with firm but a soft grasp, keeping her body pressed as close to him as humanly possible.  

“And perfect because you’re here too.” Pulling back the blonde smoothed her hands down the lapels of his suit, flushed, her lips red from the kiss. Part of Kelsey wanted to stay here in the house all night together so she could feel this intoxicatingly heady feeling of knowing that the man in front of her, the man she loved, loved her back. It was impossible however because nothing would stand in the way of the world giving him the recognition he deserved more than anyone she’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. As someone who was loving in general it was just too easy to want the best for Keys because in her eyes no one walking any continent right now was more worthy of it than him. Tonight was about him being shown that in no uncertain terms and she felt blessed to be able to stand by his side throughout it. That he would trust he with something that important. “Do we need to go? I don’t want you to be late…” Keeping her voice low even though there was no one else in the room and this was hardly a secret - they did need to leave. “Before we go though I want you to know that I’m going to be right next to you, all night, and if you need me you know where to find my hand. I’m so proud of you. You deserve this more than anyone because you have a gift that is only given to one in a hundred billion people, not even, but on top of that you hold it with such grace and humility it just amplifies the golden stardust that surrounds you at all times. Don’t forget that, okay? And enjoy tonight because it’s your night.” Leaning forward she pressed another soft kiss to his lips before finding his hand with her own giving it a light squeeze. “Ready? The music industry is waiting for you.” 

👾

Usually keys spent nights like this trying to fight off the headaches and talking himself down from disappointment. Convincing himself that he was just lucky enough to be here, even if he went home with nothing. He was always alone up until this point. There was no one, really, to share any of what he’d accomplished in his life with. Often times he was left wondering what the point for having fought so hard to get here was, when he spent most of his time convincing himself he didn’t deserve it. The only time he allowed to be kind to himself was when it was in his sister’s voice. He’d never forget it. Before kelsey came along, she was the only thing that got him through. Talking to her in his head, which sometimes just amounted to the memory of pressing his face against her stomach when he’d lay his head in her lap and cry into her shirt while she ran her fingers through his mess of a hair and would sing him his favorite song. It was the only real comfort he knew how to hold onto his entire life. A memory. A voice, one that was now telling him it was okay to fight away the fear of having said the most powerful words any language could ever hold and not hearing it back. He already wishes it didn’t leave him so unceremoniously, but it was honest and raw and still everything he’s feeling for kelsey as he holds her. The only reason he doesn’t crawl out of his skin due to humiliation is the way she’s kissing him back. Holding him. He feels bad for doubting her feelings at all, because if it’s not something she’s ready for, he’s okay with that but he doesn’t want to ruin what they have. What they’re building. He might’ve just now by being impulsive but he knows despite all his conflicting, intrusive thoughts, there’s no taking it back.

The only way forward is through and when he takes a long, heavy breath, it’s actually mixed with a bit of laughter when she asks if he’s real. “I’m not sure… Hardly ever felt like it at all until… this.” Gesturing between their hearts with his hand, it hovers over his own chest for a moment. His head hurts so bad right now the room lurches, but hazel hues are locked onto the vision that is kelsey robinson as words pour out of her. Ones he can’t manage to comprehend are about him that make him wonder if this is her way of saying she loves him until… Or if, she ever can. “We do need to go but I- There’s something I have to do first. Ummm. I should have gone earlier, honestly. Maybe even as soon as we landed but it’s hard because seeing her is-” The words get stuck in his throat before he hums and sniffs, gently squeezing kelsey’s hand in return. “But I have to thank her and you two should meet.” Slowly, he brings her hand up to kiss the back of it before tugging gently to lead them out of the entrance to the car waiting for them.

The ride isn’t long, but he’s quiet. Completely silent, in fact, as he nervously, and for the first time, plays out his rituals in front of someone. Ever since he’d been seeing the behavioral therapist, which was barely a year at this point, they had taught him rituals outside his norm to help him deal with times like this. The edibles kicking in helped but he couldn’t help mumbling to himself. A checklist of things to keep him present. The hand not keeping tight hold of Kelsey’s, flexed and tapped at his knee as he counted backward and forward. Subconsciously, he begins tracing letters and shapes on Kelsey’s hand with his thumb. The fidgeting becomes more anxious the closer they get to where they’re going to the point that by the time they’ve arrived, keys is singing softly, tapping out the rhythm to his sisters favorite song as the dull grays of the cemetery come into view.

Keys doesn’t stop singing when they park, instead he stares out over the horizon of headstones as he helps Kelsey out of the car, looking every bit as humiliated as he feels having to be seen this way, even if he knows she won’t judge him for it. Or hopes at least. When his eyes finally meet hers, it’s apologetically, for being weird. Hard to understand. Now bringing her to a fucking cemetery before the Grammy awards. Even the happiest he’s ever been, he knows there’s always going to be a grim, sticky distortion he can’t really shake. Leading Kelsey to his sister’s grave, he feels bad about pulling her into that distortion. Like he was sullying her in some way, the same way he’d done to his sister. He couldn’t save her and the guilt washes over him the way it does every time he’s here. Which isn’t often enough. Never was once he left California. “I’m sorry.” He apologizes to the headstone immediately. It’s already pristine. Adorned with flowers and trinkets. Keys makes sure her headstone is kept up, even in his absence. He still has a hold of Kelsey’s hand, nervous about her being there but knows it’s necessary for her to see this. All of this. Who he really is, not the version of himself he puts on for everyone else. “Hopefully you won’t be too mad at me about how long it’s been this time. I got real cool news! We’re getting to see the world like we always wanted, still. Cuz…you’re with me all the time, ya know and you won’t fuckin believe this, sis but I think … I have family now. This is Kelsey.” The musician beams through the haze of tears threatening to spill over as he speaks, but he holds up their hands, clasped tightly in front of the headstone to show it excitedly. “I’ll let her introduce herself if she wants,” he speaks softly, this time turning his head to look at the woman he loves as he does, pulling her a little closer to his side. “But I think you guys would have been best friends. She’s smart, and holds the talent of at least a dozen celestial beings unheard. She’s got a smile like the sunrise and her laugh reminds me of yours because it comes from the deepest most sincere part of her heart. And I love her … more than anything.” He sniffs before sighing, still holding Kelsey’s gaze as his heart pounds out his chest.

Looking out across the headstones that lump still ever present in her throat. No move to get out of the vehicle until the other did so, he was calling the shots in this weighted situation, she was there for support. At least she hoped that was something she’d be able to offer him even in the smallest way possible. Stepping out of the car carefully she took his hand in both of hers, trying not to trip up on the uneven ground in her impossibly high heels, not something she donned often. Probably wouldn’t be her choice of outfit for a trip to a cemetery either but nothing about the two of them as a couple was normal which was exactly how she wanted it. They transcended the rules and laws of what they should be doing to crate something entirely of their own that rippled through her very essence even as they stood in front of a grave. Glancing over at him as he apologised her eyes started to prickle with tears because of the vulnerability behind just the two words - so earnest but she couldn’t understand what Keys could be apologising for. The grave in front of them was immaculate in how it had been kept, someone had paid it incredible attention, proving the person it represented was exceedingly loved even in their death. What came next though was all it took to set the blonde off actually crying no matter how stoic she tried to remain, hand clasping her boyfriends. The word sis a punch in the chest. This was Keys sister. He trusted her enough to take her to one of the most important places in his life and if that wasn’t love then she didn’t know what was and she had no desire to know. 

Gazing into his eyes as he spoke about her, eyes glistening with tears, she gave him a watery smile. Sniffing softly before leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips, composing herself to do what she knew she needed to do. Deep down inside she had a tug calling her to talk directly to this girl she’d never met, never would, but wished beyond anything she could have. Letting go of Keys hand she carefully knelt down at the side of the grave without bothering to give two shits about getting her knees dirty or messing with her make up - the awards ceremony they were going to after this was no longer her priority. Now her focus was to speak from the heart to her boyfriend’s sister. 

“Sarah, I’m Kelsey. I’m so sorry never knew you but…I feel like I already know what you were like because you meant so much to your brother it would be impossible for you to be anything other than electric.” Reaching out to touch some of the grass by the headstone she smiled, gathering her thoughts. “I know we only just met but I need you to know that your brother is one of the greatest people I’ve ever had the privilege of having in my life. I know it’s testament to you that he has turned out like this because there is no way the bond the two of you obviously shared didn’t help shape the man he’s become. We’re going to the Grammys tonight, he’s nominated … more than once, and deserves every single last one.” Glancing behind her at the man she gave him a soft smile, eyes still glassy with tears but doing everything she could to not let them fall, to hold her emotions. To be that support she wanted to be so badly. “I want you to know that when he wins, not if, but when, I am going to be cheering for him for both me and you. We’re going to be there together - Keys, you, and me. And everyday from this one forward I will look after him like I know you would if you were still here, I will make sure he knows how he’s one in a million, no…he’s one in ten billion. That is my promise to you, because he deserves love, and I …” The blonde took a breath, hand still resting against the ground as her fingertips grazed the bottom of the stone, feeling like her heart was speeding like a freight train. “I love your brother so much. I love him unapologetically, unconditionally, with every atom that makes up my existence. We met in a very unconventional way but I now know that every choice I made thus far in my life, good or bad, was leading me to him.” With a tiny sniff she retracted her hand, sitting back on her heels as she gazed at the intricate etching on the headstone trying to catch her breath. 

“Just…in a good place at the moment. You know when everything seems to be slotting in where it’s meant to be finally? Well, I’m well on my way there. I have amazing friends, we’re heading towards spring, and I’m here about to get a beautiful tattoo from one of my most favourite talented people. What’s not to be happy about?” Kelsey grinned as she hugged her back tightly, a squeeze to make sure she knew how much she meant to her. “Have you heard of The Creation of Adam? It’s a fresco by Michelangelo. Anyway, there is a bit in the middle where the two hands touch, well almost touch, so…” Going into her bag she rummaged around for the sketchbook she’d worked on the sketch in, chewing her bottom lip as she did so. “So I drew this from hands i know…” flipping it open to show the brunette the tattoo, placing it on the station with proud delight. “And ideally if you think it would work, I’d like it here.” Lifting her shirt up enough to expose the skin just below her left breast. "Thoughts? Feelings? Emotions?“ The blond asked brightly.

Taylor was happy to hear that things have been going well for her friend. It’s all she wanted. It made her happy but she did feel a little envious. To be happy. She loved her job but it seemed like it was the only thing that made her happy. She had a small handful of friends but her love life sucked. Her last one caused her to be a runaway bride. One thing Taylor was really good at was being able to hide her emotions. Able to hide if she was sad or angry or anything. It became natural to her. When Kelsey explained the tattoo she wanted, Tay’s eyes lit up and looks at the sketch. Her eyes then move to the area where Kelsey wanted and nods. “I love it. I think it’s perfect and that area, i think it would work really well there.” she said honestly. “Let me go ahead and make this into a stencil and we’ll get started! Strip the shirt, and get comfortable, it’ll be a little while.” she chuckled as she stepped away to make the stencil. It took her a few minutes before returning. She moves to clean down the skin then places the stencil on. Once it was on, she looked up at Kelsey, “How is that? want it bigger? Smaller? At an angle? Anything, you tell me.”

Kelsey had vivid memories of standing in the grass in her parents back garden when she was a little kid with her head tilted back towards the sun as tiny eruptions took place on her tongue. Ears ringing with a crackling sound as sweet fruit flavour was tickling her tastebuds. Her mouth opening so she could hear the popping sound in a different way, like they were dancing in there energetically, the sensation enough to make her eventually dissolve into giggles. It was still something that made her smile when she closed her eyes to cast her mind back to those occasions, but today she had the same sensation for an entirely different reason. It wasn’t on her tongue this afternoon but instead bubbled in the pit of her stomach as she kept her eyes closed while eyeshadow was carefully applied to her face, just another step in the long process of getting her ready to accompany Keys to the grammy awards tonight. Someone had opened her mouth to upturn an entire bag of popping candy directly into her stomach and chest, feeling like she was full of bubbles of nervous anticipation. It was so important to the blonde that she looked right for her boyfriend, yes boyfriend which was still surreal, because he trusted her enough to take her with him on this incredibly important night. 

The whole trip to LA thus far had been surreal for want of a better word. A city made up of stars leaving metaphorical ones bursting in Kelsey’s eyes every time she took in something new, not a place she’d ever been before. Hand locked in Keys’ as they got on the aeroplane to fly down from New York it had hardly been out of it since, wanting to drink in this experience with him in its entirety. Even the darker side of Los Angeles that occasionally made themselves known weren’t enough to tarnish the view Kelsey now had of it because the whole reason for being there, who she was there with, everything combined was more than she’d have been able to imagine in a dream. But it was real. It was madness. ‘Okay, want to take a look? We’ll put the lipgloss on just before you leave, and I have a tube of it for you take with you incase you need to reapply.’ The make up artist who was incredibly sweet and the epitome of a valley girl, instructed with a mirror held up in front of her freshly painted face which looked foreign for a couple of seconds as she stared at it. Unable to connect that the reflection was her own, improved by a team of professionals, but still it was her Kelsey Robinson staring right back at her. She swallowed, hard, and broke out into a winning smile. “It’s perfect, thank you so much. I should…I’m going to put my dress on.” 

Final touch ups done she was wearing large gold earrings with her hair slicked back perfectly (the work of another professional obviously) her black dress shorter now she also had a pair of tall black (designer - so crazy) heels on. Buzzing with a want to go and see her boyfriend, she glanced back at the other women in the room with a grateful smile, taking a slow inhale. “Thank you so much, you are … so impossibly talented. I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve helped me with. I know I’ve been a bit of a nervous wreck.” Giggling she offered a last wave before walking carefully across the room to where she knew Keys was in the bedroom. The main bedroom, she’d been getting ready in the guest room, not that she’d been sleeping there but it was just to give them space to get ready. It weirdly felt almost like their wedding or something - he’d never sen her dressed up like this. Hell she’d never seen herself dressed up like this, to quite this degree, but it was crucial she didn’t let him down. Not tonight of all nights. Gloved hand taking hold of the bannister so she could head down the modern stairs to the lower level of the beautiful Hollywood home she didn’t even realise she was literally holding her breath. “Keys? Babe? Are you down here?” Kelsey called out, not wanting to startle him by just appearing.  @ofmckeys

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Terrified would be the only way to describe the way he felt right now. Funny enough, he’d attended the event before, but it was nothing close to this capacity. Even having been nominated, the awards he received at this event before were given off air, mostly. If it were up to him, he might skip them entirely, the only advantage to showing up to him had been making connections and being seen, which this crowd in particular seemed to love. Keys could do without all the glitz and glam, even though it was fun to people watch at these sorts of events. Although he figured there wouldn’t be a lot of that tonight. Not with kelsey by his side. All he could think about in the middle of the now routine bustle of getting ready with his usual team of people, was what the night would be like for her, never having experienced something like this before. He wanted the night to be perfect for her. It was the first time he was presenting the world with the person he loved, after all. There was already a weighty feeling of guilt having thrown her headlong into being mixed up with the hectic pace his life had taken. Being a public figure on top of it all wasn’t easy, so naturally, he worried about what toll it could tak on their relationship, but most importantly, on the girl herself.

The thoughts and worries invaded his usual routine. Already overstimulated, he’d medicated himself enough to dull the ache in his head as he slowly paced back and forth, humming to himself and pinching the tips of his fingers every now and then to keep himself from becoming disconnected from what’s going on completely due to being overwhelmed. Any other night he’d be okay with retreating in his head and going through the motions, just to make it through, but when he spins at the sound of kelsey’s voice to see her descending the stairs, he’s reminded why he wouldn’t be okay with that tonight. Or any night from now on with her by his side. The music in his head perfectly accompanies the way his heart twists and dances in his chest at how gorgeous she is. The most beautiful thing he’s ever seen which is only the millionth time he’s thought so looking at her since the moment they met. But this was different. Their first time attending an event together. Stepping out into the world as a couple. They’d even flown all the way across the country to do it, so it was technically their first ‘vacation’ together as well. Keys had spared no expense, them staying at his place in california while they were here, making sure kelsey had a team of her own at her disposal to help her feel as comfortable and confident in this new experience as possible. 

Watching her come down the stairs, he can’t imagine her being anything but. The picture of breathtaking perfection. He’s actually shaking by the time he reaches out when she reaches the last step, taking her soft, warm hand in his. The musician remains completely silent, mouth foolishly agape as he stares, shell shocked and astounded. There’s no way for him to breathe or speak through the flood of color and soft symphony being framed by her eyes and nervous little smile so he just stutters and stammers as he squeezes her hand, actually tearing up at the emotion of it all. Everything hitting him all at once. The entire culmination of his life leading up to this moment. “I love you-” He blurts out after stammering for ten whole seconds. It’s not what he expects to come out, eyes widening in shock at himself, but his hands squeeze hers in an assurance that he means it. No matter how much faster his heart pounds in his chest or his hands shake holding hers or big brown eyes well up with panic and the constant pain and confusion he carries, facing the world with, he knows that what he just said is the truest thing that has ever left his lips. “I love you and you look perfect because you are…perfect. There’s no other word that will ever come close to describing or encompassing what you are.” Stepping forward, he presses his lips to hers, making a soft, mewling sound immediately at the contact, intertwining their fingers as he pulls her gently against him. “No matter what happens, the night is going to be perfect because you’re here.” 

“You look so handsome.” She whispered just before his lips pressed against hers and she could smooth her hands across his shoulders to wrap her arms tightly around his neck. Deepening the kiss, silently grateful that the make up artist he’d hired for her had decided to put her lipgloss on after they left, because if she hadn’t it would all be gone by now. Hands exploring the back of Keys head for a couple of seconds before remembering they were meant to be going to a very important event, a team of people had been working on him, she shouldn’t be messing up their handiwork in a matter of seconds. “Are you real?” She murmured against his lips as the tip of her nose brushed against his. Feeling the rasp of his breath on her lips from a millimetre away, her smiling lips, beaming even. If there was a way to bottle the moment they were in now the two of them could have made a fortune marketing it as pure unadulterated joy because that was the only feeling in her heart. It was screaming at her internally to tell him she loved him back but the overwhelming situation they were in wouldn’t let the words fall from her lips, as much as they were ringing out in her head. Instead she tried to show him with the way she held onto him with firm but a soft grasp, keeping her body pressed as close to him as humanly possible.  

“And perfect because you’re here too.” Pulling back the blonde smoothed her hands down the lapels of his suit, flushed, her lips red from the kiss. Part of Kelsey wanted to stay here in the house all night together so she could feel this intoxicatingly heady feeling of knowing that the man in front of her, the man she loved, loved her back. It was impossible however because nothing would stand in the way of the world giving him the recognition he deserved more than anyone she’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. As someone who was loving in general it was just too easy to want the best for Keys because in her eyes no one walking any continent right now was more worthy of it than him. Tonight was about him being shown that in no uncertain terms and she felt blessed to be able to stand by his side throughout it. That he would trust he with something that important. “Do we need to go? I don’t want you to be late…” Keeping her voice low even though there was no one else in the room and this was hardly a secret - they did need to leave. “Before we go though I want you to know that I’m going to be right next to you, all night, and if you need me you know where to find my hand. I’m so proud of you. You deserve this more than anyone because you have a gift that is only given to one in a hundred billion people, not even, but on top of that you hold it with such grace and humility it just amplifies the golden stardust that surrounds you at all times. Don’t forget that, okay? And enjoy tonight because it’s your night.” Leaning forward she pressed another soft kiss to his lips before finding his hand with her own giving it a light squeeze. “Ready? The music industry is waiting for you.” 

The two of them had entirely forgotten their breakfast in place of instead indulging in each other, because the pancakes tasted amazing but Keys was better than anything else. Better than anything that could be put on a plate in front of her because he was an earth locked celestial being that shouldn’t have been allowed to cross her path but somehow had, it was a beautiful thing. He was heart meltingly perfect for her in every way that she wondered if perhaps someone had sent him to her as some kind of gift because every aspect of Keys was pulled from Kelsey’s dream journal. Except he was reality, right there, she could touch him, it made her feel dizzy with delight. 

As he wraps his arms around her tightly, entirely engulfing her thin frame she buries her face in the crook of his neck, taking a few deep breaths of his scent slowly. The smell of the bed they’d shared last night clinging to his skin making the blonde smile to herself as she let the colours it evoked burst behind her eyelids like fireworks. Not dissimilar from what she’d felt in the pit of her stomach last night as well. It was the first time the word love had popped into her head but it happened so suddenly her eyelids flew open again in surprise. Love was a word she wasn’t ever scared to use but in this capacity…already…for Keys? It caused her heart to pick up in her chest like he could hear her thoughts, that he knew how she felt, fear that he might not feel the same way. That it was too soon. That she was being too serious. Her second guessing for that split second was enough to make her swallow the thought back down again, just in time to hear his voice starting to sing against the top of her head. 

Her breathing got caught in her throat at the sweet words that fell on her ears because even without asking or being explicitly told she knew it was a song he had written about her. She felt it in the very core of her being. How he spoke of dirt and being pulled from it when they’d talked about him feeling like a weed growing in dirt so recently…Keys was so far from a weed it would be funny if it hadn’t felt so heartbreaking to hear that he thought himself as such. Pulling away as he did the same she looked at his emotion filled face her eyes started to fill with tears because his words were so earnest they reached into the depths of her soul where so many people didn’t bother to delve, but he had no fear when it came to that. Or if he did he didn’t hide it and for that she was going to be eternally grateful even if their story didn’t last forever because he’d shown her something that even someone as freely loving as Kelsey was had yet to be privy too. 

“You are the most real person I’ve ever met in my whole life. Flaws make a person real, cracks make a person real, mistakes make a person real. They are what make a person beautiful too because neither of them can be true without the other. You talk so negatively about yourself but you don’t see that the things you chastise yourself for are the very things that make you unique in the most breathtaking way. If I’m the sunshine then you are the flower with the strength to reach through frozen ground or the cracks in the stone, and the sun is there only to serve those it nourishes. It gives her purpose, you give me purpose, because when I open my eyes just getting to talk to you gives me something to look forward to. Do you know how powerful you have to be to cause that kind of joy in a human without even trying? Even when they have to face a day they don’t want to happen. Or are surrounded by things that bring them down, but just the idea of getting to spend time talking to you can turn all that sound in seconds. You, Keys, are a real life superhero.” 

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Being this close to someone was mesmerizing. He’d never been this intimate with someone in a way that extended far beyond just the physical sense. Of course, the constant, self-aggrandizing part of him can’t believe she’d even want to be this close to him. But the way her breath tickles against his skin when she breathes him in causes him to shiver and smile against hers. “Never got to do this with anyone before…I mean, almost….Only when I’m bad and I have to pretend. He pulls back to shake his head a little, “not with you though. I pretend with everyone, but you’re different because I’d like to be someone worthy of kelsey robinson forever… Until the very last star dies out and even that’ll be just us two.”  

When he registers the emotion on her face, he rests his forehead against hers for a few moments before pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose. His heart is already racing at what he prepares himself to say next, or what he thinks he’s going to say, at least. To ask her to be with him. Officially, whatever that meant. Calling her ‘girlfriend’ seemed so juvenile. Nowhere near enough to describe what he wanted with her. There might have been a moment where he thought to laugh and bring the idea up out loud, integrating it into the way he might ask, coming up with a much better word for a soulmate than ‘girlfriend’, but it was before she started to speak again. When she gets going, it’s like he forgets to speak himself, anyway. She could be talking about a cheeseburger, but it was the one the lines in her face helped tell the story of how dedicated she was to whatever it was she was talking about. There was already an easily admitted obsession with watching her hands as she spoke, even when sitting. The way she moved to emphasize words, rippled colors and solar flares through the air, born of the magic in her mind, was entrancing. He’s so overwhelmed by how passionate she is about whatever it is she’s speaking about, he barely realizes it’s him until she says he’s someone she looks forward to. If there was one thing keys made abundantly clear to everyone, it was how much he hated receiving compliments. It made him uncomfortable, even though he knew they meant well. The imposter syndrome was inescapable, but something about it hit even harder with every compliment he received. Especially after spending so much of his life being treated the exact opposite. How quickly people found his “quirks” and talents charming once his name started to mean something to the right people still turned his stomach. Made most of it feel disingenuous, anyway. But kelsey was different. He could tell her about how sounds and textures and lights and fabrics and haircuts and all sorts of things hurt him in ways he couldn’t describe and how he learned to just deal with things like that to seem normal and her eyes didn’t change the way he feared. Like she’d look at him as if he was broken, or weird, or a nuisance or something to feel sorry for rather than an actual person…Not someone she could actually love. No, instead her hands danced their magical spinnings through the air as she described her thoughts and feelings on the matter in a way that made him feel safe and understood, the way she always did.

“It’s a fact that you’re fearless. Because you’re able to say things like “I appreciate getting to see you in the morning” plain as day because you feel it and that’s that. I use too many words because I’m always wearing masks. I can never say what I need to say, and it doesn’t help it has to come out this stupid.” A hand comes up, and he knocks at his own skull, eyes turning down at the disappointment in himself, but only for a moment as he brings the same hand over to what is becoming one of his favorite spot for said hand, over her heart. “You speak from here. And you give from here. Even when the world has given you every reason to believe it’ll never deserve it. Especially not from the likes of you. The rest of us broke in the wrong direction. We wear masks. Especially superheroes. All dark pasts and agonizing greys. But then there are the actual fearless ones like you. No mask. You world forge with a smile.” Keys picks his hand up from her chest before reaching over to pluck one of the flowers from the table. Gently, he rolls the stem of the flower between his fingers until it breaks where he wants before he smiles. More meticulous than he needs to be, forehead curling in lines as his tongue pokes out the corner of his lips, he tucks her hair behind her ear before sliding the stem behind it, placing the flower there. “I guess no matter how rotten I am or how bright you are, we were fated to need each other. That’s the summation of all creation, after all. Galaxies and stars and flowers all need something to exist in the first place….But if we’re doing this, we might as well be the big bang itself. Everything will come from us. Forever and ever.” It resonates with him that he said it out loud. Forever. As if it’s a real prospect. Allowing himself the moment’s hope because it’s impossible not to with her. “What do we call this…When we’re tethered…here.” Slowly he picks his arm up, showing her the inside of his wrist before using his other hand to pick up her arm. There’s a brief look of concentration again when he presses the vein on the inside of his wrist against hers. “What…What do we call us?”

As he looked at her she couldn’t help but gaze back at him wondering what on earth could be going on in the man’s magical mind. What eccentricities lay behind the puppy dog eyes that sucked her in deeper with every passing day, hour, second they spent together. It was impossible as they sat here to believe that he’d ever engaged in anything illegal because the innocence that exuded from him was tangible in its visibility. Lifting her hand up to stroke his cheek with a single finger just to connect more the left side of Kelsey’s mouth pulled up a little as she thought of what a younger version of her would think if they could see this picture right now. It didn’t matter that Keys was a grammy nominated artist, or brilliantly smart when it came to technology, or even that he was handsome in his cute boyish way. What young Kelsey wouldn’t be able to comprehend was how easily he accepted her for exactly who she was, flaws and all. Everything that had kept her awake at night while she was growing up he didn’t just embrace but he seemed to indulge in as positives, a part of her to be cherished. Sure she’d been in relationships before where people had been accepting of her but not when they could see her like Keys also managed to see exactly who she was deep down. Under all the sunshine, the bright colours, the floaty words, that all melted away under his gaze but it didn’t leave her feeling exposed or naked. It left her wanting more. 

“I do though, I feel it so deeply. I open my eyes and you are what greets me? Who wouldn’t want that in their life - point me in their direction I think they need serious help.” Shaking her head quickly she put her finger to his lips as he spoke negatively about himself once more, shushing him before pressing her lips against his in an attempt to stop Keys from talking. Only as she pulled away a fraction of an inch did she speak once more, an easy smile playing on her face. “You say exactly what you need to say and it comes out in the exact right amount of words. You have a way with words I’ve never experienced with anyone else through my twenty four years on this earth and I don’t think I ever will again.” Reaching up to grab his wrist as he knocks his skull, shaking her head silently again. She wouldn’t allow this to continue. When her grip loosened and his hand came to her chest she felt her heart skip under her ribcage in a way he could no doubt feel as well it was so profound. “That is the thing though, when the world gives me reasons to believe it doesn’t deserve it, it brings along something electric like you. It shows me that I just have to be patient because everything comes with time, I’ve been waiting for you and I didn’t even know it. It’s been training me to grow so I’m worthy of you with every tribulation because the world wanted to make sure when we finally came face to face I would be deserving of what you offer me. I don’t know if I’ve gotten there, I don’t know if I’ll ever get there, but I’m excited to get to try for as long as you’ll let me.” Lifting her hand to brush her fingers over the flower tucked behind her ear she broke out into a grin, reaching to tuck some of his hair behind his tenderly. “We both have rotten parts, and bright parts, but that’s okay. We can navigate them together, right?”  His question left her silent for a long second as their wrists came together, the vein that she knew tracked directly to their hearts, becoming one as they sat there. Reaching out she wrapped her hand around his forearm to keep their wrists pressed together even as she looked up, shrugging. “We call us whatever we want to, because we’ll know what we are, right? The label isn’t for us it’s for everyone who needs to quantify what we have but we know that’s not possible. To make their lives easier, why don’t we stay conventional for once in this whirlwind we’ve spent together. Will you be my boyfriend?” Her cheeks flushed with nervous excitement as she waited for him to answer.

Kelsey didn’t usually find herself in places like this but she’d needed to pass off a USB stick for a client she’d been forced to do a job for. Yep, a USB stick, like it was the mid twenty tens. The only way it could get weirder was if it was on a floppy disk but luckily she’d not had to track down any of those. Walking through the club she was absolutely not dressed to be in, it was not the place for an oversized blue linen shirt and a pair of ripped up jeans, but no one had warned her. She would know for next time. 

Catching the attention of a stunning woman who was leaning back against the bar looking through a wallet she broke out into her signature lazy grin, not intimidated by her raised eyebrow, she’d come across more than her fair share of people in this city, no in her life, that behaved like they would happily hurt you if given the chance. Most of them chose to do it with words though. Was this woman one of them, or was she the kind that would follow through? Her glossy hair, the way her fingers were carefully looking through the item, something about her was sucking Kelsey in. 

“Nope, not mine.” Shaking her head she took the words as a light invitation to come closer, head tilted unthreateningly to one side as her eyes continued to glitter with genuine open kindness. “I’m sure whoever it belongs to will be back for it at some point though, looks like there is a fair bit of stuff in there. Or if they don’t you could hand it in somewhere and the ID can be used to track down the owner.” 

–

For all of the Clubhouse’s faults, Anastasia can’t blame it for the occasional stroke of luck. She’s expecting a stranger, and what she is met with instead is one Kelsey Robinson. To be fair, there’s a good chance she is a stranger to Kelsey, but Anastasia has a tendency to keep tabs on valuable connections, especially one with coveted skillsets. The chasm between the world of cyber crime and the world of white collar is a canyon growing smaller by the day and Ana’s been meaning to slip her way into this one’s path. It’s fortuitous, if absolutely nothing else, and she might as well take advantage of it while that fortune is still extant. 

“I didn’t think this was quite your scene,” the Clubhouse that is, with all of its sleekness. Frayed threads on jeans catch beams of neon light. But far be it for Ana to cast stones, her own heels and Ted Baker affair are not the appropriate either — so here they are, the two sore thumbs of the venue. “Let’s hold onto it. See if he comes back. Do you want a drink? I’ve actually been meaning to find some time with specifically you, Ms. Robinson.” She holds out her hand - a take-no-prisoners handshake. “I don’t think you know me - I’m Anastasia Lin.” 

“Not normally, but sometimes I like to dip my toe into the sparkly world of The Clubhouse just to make myself feel like I’m part of the group that…shine. Everyone here is beautiful.” Kelsey smiled her radiant grin as she turned back to the dark haired stranger, spotting the hand being offered to her to shake. Shit, how long had she been holding that out while Kelsey talked crap. “Oh, sorry, hi nice to meet you. I don’t know you but, well I do now, nice to meet you Anastasia. Do you…should I…what is it you do?” She finally asked, she had to be part of the gang that employed Kelsey to hack…right? It was the only explanation.