The Freak

Having a real bad time at the moment, in such a bad place in my head. It's like I'm not really living anymore, just passing the time until I die. I feel like I've died inside and now I'm just waiting for the outside to die as well. Feel so lonely, like I've got no real friends, just people passing by and I'm on the outside of it all. I so wanna give up but I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. Why? I dunno, I just do. My life is just one big disaster after another. Know my rents don't really give a shit about me, can feel the disgust and shame in their eyes every time they look at me, don't blame them either. I am disgusting, I am ashamed of me, I hate myself so much and just want it all to be over. Why can't I just go to sleep and never wake up again. It's not much to ask! It's all I want and need

Right now I wanna end it more than I ever have before, can concentrate on anything else except the thought of that. I'm a piece of shit that no one will ever miss. I'm ready

Sitting on the bridge and so wanna end it but haven't got the guts to jump. Such a fucked up piece of shit, nobody would give a damn if I jumped, my rents would probably celebrate. Wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again. I hate myself and my life so much

Not posted in a while, been sinking under a mound of homework. Still can't get over the bad stuff that happened, still hate going to a school where no one talks to me, still cutting most nights, still as fucked up as ever, still hate myself and my life, and most of all still wanna end it. Think about it almost every night, don't feel anything anymore except pain and darkness, it's the only way out for me. Not afraid of dying, thought of living the rest of my life never forgetting what happened scares the shit out of me