Kelly

You Can Be Loved

I remember the first time that I told my wife that I loved her.  It was on the one-year anniversary of our first date.  Why in the world did it take so long to say it?  I knew I loved her long before then.  Maybe I was too skeptical.  I was of the opinion then that the word “love” had been tossed around so much that I wanted it to truly mean something–not merely a word to throw out like bread crumbs for birds.  Basically, I wanted it to mean more, because “love” needs to have greater meaning.  I still have that opinion.  “Love” is a special word to be reserved for special meaning.

These thoughts came to my mind at the end of my workout this morning.  While still dressed in my girly gym-bunny gear, my wife popped her head into my workout room to let me know that she was going to the gym.  No matter how secure our relationship has become within my feminine ways, having my wife see me all girlified still causes my heart to flutter inside my sports bra.  In good fun, she threw out an “I love you, you sexy girl!”  Of course, that was followed by, “Get the kids up in 30 minutes!”

My wife has taught me more about love than anyone else.  When I wasn’t sure if she would accept me for being more feminine, dressing in girl’s clothes, and being less “man”, she showed me that love has the ability to compromise and adapt.  She showed me that love is something she chooses to give freely, not something I have to earn through pretending to be someone I’m not.

I realize that I’m very privileged to have this relationship.  There are still some nuances of it that are not as open as I wish they were, but it’s still a relationship that permits some freedom to express my femininity.  I gladly accept the terms because my wife loves “me”. That’s the key–to love ME; the person who I am.  And because I love her, I might have some freedom to be girly, even girlier and girlier as I make some progressions, but I will respect her wishes with how far I extend my feminine ways.

I know that a good number within my audience are not so lucky.  I hate that.  If there is anything I wish to say to you, it is this:

“You can be loved, even in your feminine ways.  You are a person to be loved, not an expectation to be owned.” 

Someone who loves you might very well request that you (as my wife has done of me) have some limitations to your girliness.  That’s reality, girly friends.  Sadly, those limitations might be very strict.  If a person loves you, however, it’s because he/she loves YOU, not your manner of expression or the clothes you wear–whatever is the flavor.  And as much as I hate to say it, your love for the other person might require a compromise that greatly restricts your feminine passions.  Ugh, I hate to have to write that!  Remember, though, as others would love you, you should be willing to love them and accept their levels of comfort too–because love has deeper meaning than clothing and personal expressions.  It has deeper meaning than any self-seeking wishes and wants.

What I would wish for any fem-boy is for him to be truly loved in such a way that no matter how feminine he might become or appear to be, he would have freedom to be himself in all of his girliness.  Maybe it’s a wet…I mean…pipe dream, but I do believe that any girly boy can never be too feminine to love.  If that is not possible in your circumstances, then I want you to know that in the very least, you can be loved.  Everyone can be loved.

Here’s to hopeful dreams of love in our girliness!