Verbl Tumbl

Combined

we've lived a lot of lives

he likes his weekends to himself

I'm his weekday plan

so when he loses a Saturday

Wilmington, North Carolina @deadcrowcomedy open mic. My best set ever.

My dear pen pal

You look good in orange

Behind the glass

It’s safe to say

Crazy things

In bytes and bits

Storytellers weaving words

Like some kind of kink

You feed me

Forgoing

erotica for neurotica

These

verbal sensations

Got me on a cliff

If you Catch me

I May need resuscitation

My mad

Bad blood sugar daddy

Won’t you give me a taste

Of that Calabrian beat

Gonna keep me waiting

Cos it’s kinda your thing

(Repeat)

We landed on Webster’s

Then we got dirty

Throwing clay for sport

Staging our lives for the screen

Promising melodies and vodka

the truth

Plays with fiction

Can we hold

I’d ask Alice but she’s not saying

you’re grinning like a cat

Holding her tongue

Are we lusting admiration

Like a school boy for a nun?

My sweet mad bad blood sugar daddy

Won’t you give me a taste of that

Calabrian beat

Don’t keep me waiting

That’s kinda my thing

[softly spoken]

Can you handle the pull

The synchronic whirl

My sweet mad bad blood sugar daddy

Got me standing on a cliff

And Alice cant speak

Just give me

a taste

of

That beat.

Come and go

G rated with an undertone

Of danger

Lingering on the lingual

Lunacy

Catching myself in a constant state

Of arousal

A tantric spell

Of the unknown

Playing out what might

Or not

Or shouldn’t

But will

Or won’t

Sensations of coming undone

Writhe ‘round my spine

Shake it off

Shift focus

But the airiness

we share,

A chemical effluvium

Over curious embers

Hear the rumble of flames?

Awakening the houses of the holy

Nice mustache, your fly is down

longing for another laugh

you call it lonely

because you're miles away

from a smirking flame

a fire you

can't yet proclaim

but you feel it

and want to hold it

til it burns the flesh off your bones

oh, but she knows the game

the reverb of second chords

the weapon of choice

that all too often

ends up in the evidence locker

the spoils of war

rewarded to a lady not yet known

(her resistance is not unwarranted)

as she riffs on synergy

the roar of wonder

courses through her veins

glowing red,

charmed lives wear the weather well

the wind tickles the back of your neck,

an exposed shoulder, your hand grazed

by chance

Sunday last

and her laughter explodes your heart

onto truth's plate...

if that's loneliness

Laughs, and smoke

A Lalo shot too far

Skillfully, the air is disarmed

Edges blunted

Senses glowing

the sparkle

Of fireflies

Flitting in the bay

To the tune of a deep breath

And a shimmy

The polarity of revolution marching

In the distance

Restraint flexes the threads of future

Pasts and present prophetic

late night playfulness

Flirting with collaboration

charming auras,

the tension is palpable

Oh, but fleshy battles are ill advised

As the mind bears better fruits

Let the

honey drip drip

coiling our vast neural pathways

Tickle the stem,

a little to the left…

Take a juicy bite as the tide rises to a sustaining crescendo

Ever in motion the molecules shake and slide escaping time itself

Transcending

It's smaller now, messy

that's not a new thing

tidy isn't in my dna

Sure, I can organize and memorize but

I can't find my keys, shit, where are they...found em.

Life is too short to deny the art within

We're gonna die, some sooner than later

there's no rapture

and I'm a little pissed I missed that moment

exploiting idiots, man, I can't even do that anymore

But empathy isn't a weakness

…inflation

Here I am at the beach

Wiped down but recently sweaty

From tennis

With a different crowd

At the same house

Instead of usta

There’s an underlying current of good food, tequila, and fuck these plastic gun nuts

Let’s drink on it and radicalize

But I grind the weed too much

And someone with limited edition hot sauce takes a convenient fancy to my pallet and my sharp tongue.

But I know and grasp without holding on to big ideas

Life and its fundamental cruelties is an obstacle course

It’s a choice

I won’t turn a blind eye to my reality or seek out a savior

Licking wounds and worn soles

Fingertips weary from one more cliffhanger to have the studio

Cancel

Everything because of a gingerbread latte on the wrong day

But the banter is better than Seth before Franco got outed and

I need it

Home away from home

Today and tomorrow I’m gonna be an outsider but dammit

I’m likable and complicated

Surviving despite my worst days

Memories are tedious and ripe for exploitation

Too old for feels

I’m not immune to the obvious

And wearing a disguise to create is justifiable

A grand jury would agree

I have no more need

For Hope

Even those that know me

I’m smart but

Ya know

It’s just

Not my time

It never has been

And I’m so tired

Who cares if I let anyone down

For a moment I convinced myself

I’m enough

I can do this!

Nah, not me.

Unlucky lately

Too unlucky

If the gods wish I turn to stone

So be it

I am tired

Too exhausted

Withering grace exhuming

My forgotten belief

Lay flowers on her grave

And let me go

I wish I could but

It's back

the gap in my time space continuim

I'm losing shit

important things

like medication

time

the will to go on

I'll have no one to watch over me

once we're stripped of what little dignity we own

where will I go

I'm a black hole

all consuming

sleep renders me down into the sweats

of 50 some years

and nothing but a fiberglass bust of

a beauty that turned less of a profit

than prophecy

I've accumulated so much over the last 8 years

9 boxes and a carload turned into 3 bedrooms, a living room, and a garage full of stuff.

Now I've got to shed it all again

downsizing

with Jess

As the days fly by, I've got a small window to list

and sell what we can't take but still need

How many "is this still available?" queries before anything moves?

(between 3 and 7)

In the meantime, I feel paralyzed

what the fuck is happening in this world???

Will we be shuffled into a van when they come for the mouthy broads?

Maybe Pete Hegseth will do us a solid and text his nana details on signal

Yeh, this is the world now, America is grinding the boot of fascism, and NBC can't figure out the motive for the Florida state shooter 😂.

Mulit-billion dollar industries are bowing to a bronzed toddler, NPR felt the protests weren't newsworthy, but the people do.

Where was I going with this?

During the round robin on Saturday, the last set of the day, and I felt myself fading, as we lost another game. Molly was putting balls away and I had no answers. As the sun beat down, my world felt smaller, and I was a giant standing on this pin.

"No more second serves." I said to myself. Go hard or don't go at all.

I don't want to be in a black van, or bleeding out in a field regretting not going for what makes me shine.

I can't give up yet, I have to write, I will put my face out there again (insecurities be damned.) I entertain strangers every time I drive.

It's Easter and my sore keister can't bear the thought of driving right now.

Putting off driving

my butt hurts

too much sweat, sitting, stress

and unfair fares

Going through my Bukowskis

Hmm, how much online?

Flipping through them

catching a verse about

a cat's ass

then a Possum Dixon Postcard

circa 1993 falls from the pages

and I wonder if that's Tommi Jean in the front row

"Zabrecky..."

Curious now, to what else these stained dogeared pages hold,

ha!

'HarlettesVintage.com' Me in a North Beach yellow leather strapless dress, "True Love" atop the red heart and rose

My skin is like porcelain and barely 30.

"damn." as I stare down at my sunburnt chest, I miss her. She didn't know how awesome she was.

Another strange bookmark,

" Let me

Know you got this" (double underlined)

a grandma check memo...I wish I'd gotten to see her before her mind

sent her driving the wrong way and lost in the system.

"Oh shit. Ha" I chuckle to myself, The Roominghouse Madrigals

pages 60-61

FGCU citizen contact ticket, 6211, 7/20/17 it was a Thursday

*Loitering on University property

I was tipsy, half dressed and making out with Billy.

We ended up at the Twin Peaks parking lot and I gave him a blow job.

He was an alcoholic I later took Krav Maga with, his girlfriend was an instructor, he forgot to mention that.

Oh florida, you dirty bitch

and 11 minutes have passed, I'm not driving yet,

A lot of words

Trying to make their way to

The page

Jumping from paper airplanes

In the dark

Syntax in trees

Reverberate to roadways

Unseen

Unraveling into asphalt

Mocking a gang of squat trucks

Stories spun on black ice

Sliding away

I can’t see me

In the fog