The "Aspen" project

I wanna spread your legs like window curtains, and put my head between them like its my money and I need it now.

Sometimes I feel like the hardest choice I'll make in this life is how to end it.

I love you more with every breath, I truly, madly, deeply do.

I never look at the stars anymore, she's the center of my universe and I can't look away.

I still chase the wind, because I know now that the chase is the only thing keeping my heart beating. If I stop I'm afraid It'll be the end of me.

I often find myself thinking about death. Not so much in a sense of wanting to die at that moment. Don't get me wrong at some point I want it all to end, I want to finally rest and not have to feel the overwhelming brew of emotions this world seems endlessly force feed me. Not now tho, I just wonder what it's like. How would it feel to have your life fade from you. There's so many ways to die, so many ways to feel that last fleeting feeling but you can only choose one. It leaves me torn between wanting a quick death or one that I will feel take me. I almost look forward to the day, it's the one feeling I want to know and I can't figure out why.

I always tell people I choose not to own a gun because I would end up using it on someone sooner or later, I never tell them that person would probably be myself.

I'm scared at the thought of loosing you, of me not being what you want or need to be in your future. I think it's because for the first time I actually see a future with someone, I have a dream and it's a future with you. I don't think there would really be anything left of my heart if that dream didn't come true.