Kellerific Writing

Troy really did think he preferred topping. So that's what he told Harris. And he isn't bad at it by any means- hell, Troy has a devotion to getting Harris off in the bedroom that most people reserve for their religion. As for himself, however... well it doesn't really take very long for Harris to notice that mr. "i prefer topping" very, very clearly enjoys bottoming a hell of a lot more. And that's not a problem! Harris isn't even really that surprised that Troy maybe doesn't have quite as well of a grasp of what he likes as he thinks he does, considering his sexual experience is very limited. But it is definitely a conversation they need to have.

So Harris sits Troy down for said conversation, and Troy is awkward as hell about it because... well, it's Troy. But after some talking, Troy admits that he has indeed been enjoying bottoming a lot more. But he swears he didn't lie about preferring topping! With Adrian, he did prefer topping, mainly because with Adrian, bottoming just... wasn't nearly as good as it is with Harris- hell he didn't even get off half the time.

So far so normal, right? But then:

Like what. And then:

watching the clock and SWEATING because he doesn't have rozanov's number atp obviously so he can't text "HEY MY MOM IS HERE. CANCEL IT. CANCEL IT ALL. DO NOT COME UP HERE.", but yuna can read that Something is up with shane, so she's even less likely to want to leave him, so she's actually stretching this out LONGER trying to figure out if shane is just really nervous about this new brand or something and honey, did someone say something today? do i need to kill someone?

and shane is pulling out EVERY ounce of deception he has never consciously had to use on his mom before to just get her OUT. he doesn't even have time to fuck around with his outfit because he needs her to GO. in a moment of ABSOLUTE fucking desperation he says he feels sick and retreats to the bathroom and pours some water in the toilet so it sounds like he's puking, but he WAY overshot this one because now no WAY is she leaving.

which means ilya still knocks on the door.

and it's YUNA who answers.

ilya's whole body takes a screenshot.

and shane in the bathroom atp heard the door open, so he almost hits himself in the face with the bathroom door trying to get out and do...

what, exactly?

so they're now in this WILD three way standoff, and yuna is being polite about it but is clearly 'what the FUCK are you doing here?' and shane genuinely for a moment thinks his mom is about to find out that he was not only about to have sex, but he was about to have GAY SEX.

nope.

"sorry, i forgot i asked if he wanted to come up later and watch the game"

"what game is on tonight?"

*shane aol dial-up noises*

ilya jumping in because oops guess this is a group project now, taking a WILD swing in the dark based on something that was on a tv in a bar he snuck into a couple of weeks ago: "uh, cars. car racing."

"you two are going to watch...nascar?"

ilya, has never heard the word nascar in his life: "yes. sounds very interesting. i love...nascars."

yuna ends up leaving the room so they can...watch?? nascar???....but also shane has never been less turned on in his fucking LIFE.

they actually do end up talking because now shane is paranoid his mom is going to be in the hall watching and waiting to catch him in a lie, and the more nervous he gets about it, the more lowkey ilya is worrying about it, too, so they do actually end up spending a chunk of time together.

but now shane is trapped in pretending to like nascar because his mom asked how watching it with rozanov was, and he's like, "...really fun! yeah, it was exciting. they, um, they go really fast."

now shane who doesn't give a FUCK about cars beyond Thing That Takes Me Places is stuck in summer watching fucking nascar with his mom. and david clocks that shane isn't into it, but he figures that maybe yuna? has found an interest in it after the topic came up? so shane is bonding with her over that? aw, how sweet.

yuna teasing him about danica patrick being too old for him so don't get any ideas, and shane is just How Did This Happen To Me.

poor guy just wanted to explore gay sex and now he's doing a photo op in jimmie johnson's car???

within Ilya's pov, he's constantly putting himself down, comparing his captaincy with bood, with his past self even, saying that he used to be fun, he used to be the one his team could count on for a good time, how he's failing at that, how he moved to ottawa with a mission to turn the team around and all he's doing is letting them down

but in role model, which we get before all of this, we're given a very different view of ilya. sure, he's not soft, but he looks out for troy despite his past actions, he's playful with the team, and apart from wishing he could make it to a few more bbq nights, none of them complain about him seeming absent, and they all clearly respect him as a player, work harder because of him, and are doing better than they have in years as a result, not compared to Ilya's previous track record, but definitely compared to the cens'

I messed up their height difference don’t look too much at it