Nah Mate, this one has to go up your bum.

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if i ever get another chinchilla i will name him vinny the chin after the former mafia crime boss who once held me as a baby

ok i might not have been directly in the arms of vinny the chin himself now that i think about it but basically what happened is that my mom had been following his trials when it was going on back in the late 90′s and like. she was on this flight that also fuckin happened to be transporting this mob boss to his next trial so like there were a bunch of mafia people on this plane with him and my mother was like “holy shit, it’s vinny the chin” and she literally started?? talking to these mafia guys. and she had to run to the bathroom and for some reason was like “can you watch my kid for me for a second” so my mom left me with the mafia. and she kind of? didn’t think about it? and realized fully what she had done as she was washing her hands so she like runs back out and i was fine. they were playing with me and i was laughing. i think it made the news. anyway that’s the story of how baby me enamored a bunch of mobsters

me: *doesn’t hear what you’re saying* yeah

I know this such an irrational thing to get mad over but when my headphones get caught on something and yanked out I legit have to take three seconds to freeze and contain my anger

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