𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕝 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕒

“see this is precisely why you need me as a friend, keery. i love to cook for my mates, it’s my love language. oh are you proposing dog swap? wait is that a reality show because if it isn’t…it totally should be. way more entertaining than the misogynistic wife swap. that being said i’m way too attached to billie, i don’t think i’d be able to go through with it. oh no, i love the show! i’ve just been so busy that i can’t commit to a proper binge. well we should get high.”

you call it couch potato, i just call it lazy. you know if you wanted someone to cook for you then all you had to do was ask. i’m always ready and willing to cook for my A-1 since day-1. hello joe— i’m joe, and let me say what a shame that you aren’t high.

“well if you ever want me to cook for you, i can easily be persuaded with a bottle of wine. and perhaps i can change your entire outlook with cooking…for me it’s therapeutic. but i get you on the couch potato thing. last weekend, i just stayed in and cuddled with my dogs while watching your show actually. i’m an awful fan, i’m only on season 2. i keep getting into shows and then i’ll forget where i’ve left off and get overwhelmed and not try again. hi joe, i already know you and it’s totally okay if you ARE high.”

Since I’m starting a whole new life moving, I decided to start a whole new exercise and diet regime by getting these meals already made for me, bonus thing is, I don’t have to cook. Then, I paid someone to actually unpack for me so...I’m the literal definition of a couch potato at this point. I feel like the older I get, the more glued to the couch I am...right now? I’m watching some reality show about hospitals and I have no idea what is going on. Hi I’m Joe and I promise I’m not high. @mountmeadow​

The worst part of moving out is not moving itself - it’s probably deciding where you’re going to put all your stuff. If you’re anything like me, you know that even if you find the right place to put your furniture and belongings, you might want to rearrange it in the near future. There might be no actual reason for it - it’s just this sudden urge to change things up at home. I’m Natalie, by the way, and please tell me I’m not the only one who does this. You can lie to me, it’s alright. While we’re at it, I could use some recommendations since I’m new in town. Tell me about your long list of favorite things to do here - I’m all ears. / @mountmeadow​ 

has anyone seen the beautiful photos nasa just released of all the distant galaxies and planets surrounding us? when i tell you i shed a tear when i seen them was an understatement. i’ve always had such a huge love for space and planets and things, but actually seeing it up close and being able to experience that from here was just— a dream come true. what’s something that’s excited you recently? / @glorystarters​

“people are STILL fucking talking about my tits and the dress i wore. seriously? what’s so terrifying? i knew it would cause a stir but some men need to get a fucking life instead of obsessing over how small my tits are.”

“okay, i know this might sound ridiculous, given how long i’ve been in this business, but i will never get used to seeing my face on a billboard. last night, i was out with my brother, and we strolled past a building that had my marc jacobs advertisement sprawled across the back of it. it was, like, the most unnerving thing ever, y’know?” @glorystarters​

your secret will die with me, lover. just know if she ever pisses me off i will use this moment against her. of course, of course. no one else i could imagine together than the two of you.

Nat’s head rested against Joe’s shoulder, letting him lead the while they were dancing. She trusted him to not bump into anyone else, while they were here on the dancefloor. She chuckled when she heard his words and nodded softly. “Yeah, I am. But it was already so much better that I didn’t feel as much pressure tonight as I would have felt if we hadn’t eloped.” she explained, pulling back slightly, so that she could look up at Joe.