HOLDEN STEVENS, FEMALE, SHE/HER, PANSEXUAL, 28 is a HUMAN in Hollywood. Some say that they resemble ALLISON WILLIAMS. This one is known to be LIVELY but can be IMPULSIVE. They work as an SEX WORKER. They have TAKEN their Oath with the Society. We hope that youâre prepared to do what you need to for fame.
I.
Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouths but in Holdenâs case, her silver spoon was shoved so far down her throat it always felt hard to talk, to breathe, to exist, impossible to spit out. The youngest of twelve siblings, her arrival to the world was ill-fated from the start; there was a ten year gap between her and her nearest sister. Instead of being called a âmiracle babyâ the word âaccidentâ was thrown around a lot. There were also rumors about her mother being too close to the family accountant and how Holdenâs father had been in a three month business trip in Scotland around her conception and how âthe math just didnât add upâ. All in all, Holdenâs experiences of being unwanted started pretty early.Â
II.
The Stevens were a family of wannabe aristocratic lowlives: old money, social ladder climbers and bottom feeders who had gotten richer and richer through dubious ways that nobody was exactly clear about. Their alliances and loyalties were never clear, they were ready to sell their souls to the highest bidder, switch teams at the drop of a hat. Holden and her siblings were all destined to be married off into even richer families, bigger names and even royalty from around the world, nothing else mattered: they went to boarding school, finishing school, anything to make them poised, polite, worldly, educated, graceful, charming.
III.
Holden was always the odd one out. She never seemed to get along with her family or her relatives or the world they were trying to force her into. The blue eyed girl was a spitfire. She never seemed able to sit still or stop talking, she asked many questions and wanted to learn everything. She was definitely a charmer, a smart ass that had everyone in the room cracking up more often than not. Her charisma, paired with her wits, her looks and her athleticism were sure to make her rise to the top of the food chain when she was off age to be married to the highest bidder. But this was all the exterior façade for the world to see. Behind closed doors, things got dreary and hopeless. Frightening and lonely.
IV.
It was heartbreaking to admit that Holden would rather have her siblings and her parents ignore her than remember her existence. They were vain and cruel, always having something to say about her appearance or her personality. Older, bigger and stronger, they also would not hesitate in using more physical methods of discipline to ensure she would shut up and know her place. There was one exception, a guardian angel in the mix: one of Holdenâs older sisters who had always shared a bond with the younger girl. Sheâd be a teenager hanging out with a bouncy child, incredibly patient and kind. Who taught her to always be herself and not break under hate. To this day, Holden still credits her strength to her. And she does not blame her sister for leaving that horrible house as soon as she could for college. Though she wishes they had stayed in contact.
V.
Escaping the oppression from her family, Holden developed a very outgoing personality. Very social, with many friends, she had never met a stranger. She excelled in sports but horses were her fascination. Of course, the Stevens owned stables and from a very young age Holden engaged in equestrian disciplines and cared for her horses. She loved getting her hands dirty, even with the tasks that usually were reserved for the stablehands. An especially gifted showjumper, there were talks that she could qualify for big events, even the Olympics. Surely she could get a scholarship for college and maybe start dislodging herself from her parentsâ influences at some point. She wasnât very smart, everyone said so but maybe she could become a vet or something. There was hope.Â
VI.
Then there was the matter of being so needy for affection. For validation. When you had been rejected and deprived from it most of your life, even the smallest nugget of it felt like the biggest declaration of love. Holden had always been the kind of girl that fell in love five times a day. During one particular life changing incident, she almost ended in conversion camp while in boarding school because she got caught kissing who she thought was her girlfriend at the time. Jodie denied it all and Holden got expelled and sent back home. She was seventeen and her parents were ready to plan her wedding to a thirty-something year old man as soon as she turned eighteen. Holden had no words to explain to them that she wasnât exactly gay, she just... loved to love. But she had somehow never felt more alone in the world. She couldnât end like her mother, high on Prozac and popping out children with dubious paternities, sleeping in separate bedrooms to her husband and hating her life. Choices had to be made.
VII.
With some cash she had been withdrawing over the course of a few months, a couple of bags and mementos, a bus ticket to Los Angeles and all the fear in the world, Holden ran away a few weeks before her eighteenth birthday. She was due for a wedding dress fitting that day and she had met her future fiancĂŠ just once. He had stared at her chest the entire time and barely talked to her. Without havenât graduated high school and very little life skills, she knew she was making a very stupid and risky decision but she was done being the Stevensâ punching bag. With no luck in locating her sister, she was now really alone. But people in way worse situations had actually made it in California, so Holden could at least give it a shot.
VIII.
Her money was gone in a blink of an eye, her motel room-cupboard-apartment had leaks and roaches and rats and a million waitressing and bartending and minimum wage jobs were not enough to keep up with the expensive prices of the City of Angels. Why on Earth had she chosen this godforsaken place, she really couldnât explain. Had she made a huge mistake? Maybe. But at least she wasnât some kind of suburban child bride. It was in a moment of hunger and weakness and desperation that she caved and accepted her seedy landlordâs offer of helping her find a âbetter jobâ that wasnât a âwaste of that pretty face and goodsâ. Maybe it was about time that Holden gave in since she had been reduced to her looks her entire life. What did she have left?
IX.
Never in a thousand years did Holden think she would end up working as a prostitute. She wasnât even legally allowed to drink yet she had her assigned âstreet cornerâ. Like a hopeless romantic she had always thought of sex as something that happened with one you loved and trusted, not whoever these rough and scary strangers were. But they paid good money for her. Turns out, Holden was pretty good at making people believe she was worth something (whether she was really worth something, wellâŚ) with her body, with her words, with her wit, with her smarts. She knew how to quickly adapt herself to survive, to be wanted (even if this new way of being wanted left her sore and scarred and aching). And soon she was moving into a better apartment and being requested by name instead of hopping into random cars in the middle of the night.
X.
Yet she found herself stuck. Being a low tier escort wasnât what she wanted. She hadnât ever had a plan in the first place, but it wasnât this. She hadnât felt freedom yet and she still lived in fear and perpetual shame. Even more so than under her familyâs roof. It was just a different kind now. Maybe what she needed was to buckle up and try to aim higher... If she made some more money, build up her savings a little more, she could finally quit this nightmare. Get her GED, go to college and start fresh. For real this time.Â
XI.
So on a wing and a prayer and using all the tricks she had learned since the beginning of her âcareerâ, Holden walked into the lionâs den, the infamous Voyeur Lounge and right into the hands of its owner. And she actually got a job. And the rest happened so fast she barely recalls it. But she got introduced to the The Society, so many clients, a whole new world of glitz and glamour and supernatural beings with insatiable appetites of all kinds that wanted her. She was a human that was now expected to serve as she had taken an Oath and signed a contract that she should have definitely read more carefully. Because the fresh start she had thought about was most definitely not on the table now.Â
XII.
But at least sheâs not hungry, right? She has a nice apartment. She can have a cute pet. Sheâs not looking for her sister anymore because she doesnât want her to see what sheâs become and thatâs the same reason why having friends is hard... If she could just get rid of the shame of her title... Holden should be proud of her position, as itâs a coveted one. In reality, it all feels like a mistake. She misses her horses, thereâs a perpetual ache in her chest from her heart being broken so many times. She wishes being held was more popular than BDSM but the client gets what the client wants. And she knows that she is good at batting her eyelashes and dialing her charm to the maximum, trying to enchant, to delight, to present herself as a vision straight from the patronsâ wildest fantasies so that nobody will resist her, so that nobody will deny her. Because at this point, whether itâs pleasure or pain, being wanted has become a dangerous addiction for Holden. Outside of work, she continues to be the bright eyed extrovert, incredibly kind and caring who just really wants some company to brave the city next to.
