keensharkbread

Jimmy dies first

Scar’s obsessed with the Enchanter

Joel’s house gets burned down

killing the warden with fishing poles, laughing about it and making a game out of how op they are. joel and etho die because of fishing poles.

grian reveals to scar that he's his soulmate using a stalactite. grian kills his secret soulmate with a stalactite.

the horns are blown constantly at the beginning as a sign of friendship or solidarity. they are blown all together as a warning call when the reds chase grian and scar down on their horses.

Round three! Here’s the next group of designs for Hermythcraft, this time featuring Cleo, Joe, TFC, and Cub!

Links:

1 | 2 | you are here | 4 | 5 | 6

As always, more info below the cut <3

Here’s the next installment of Hermythcraft, a Pantheon AU! Featuring Zedaph, Tango, Keralis, and Jevin :D

Links:

1 | you are here | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 

More detailed information below the cut!

After several weeks of slowly chipping away at this project, I’ve finally finished! These are the first five designs for a Hermitcraft Pantheon AU, where every hermit is a deity with a unique domain.

The rest of the 26 designs will be posted over the next couple days. When posted, everything will be linked here!

you are here | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 

More detailed information below the cut :D

The Grian Effect is when you say "I'm a Grian fan, so I'm just going to watch his POV of Hermitcraft/Double Life/Last Life/3rd Life/MCC/Evo etc..."

And then something happens that makes you go, "Oh, I want to see that prank or event from the other person's perspective" (particularly in the days before prox chat, if you wanted to hear how the other person reacted) or "That person was really fun to team with, I wonder if their vids/streams are any good?"

Then you go "Oh, huh, I like this person's style. I guess I'll watch the rest of their vid..."

And before you know, it you're following 82 hermits and 156 streamers and it's all Grian's fault.

My opinions on which set of lyrics from Oh Hello’s songs match certain DSMP characters I tried my best to get them all but let me know if I’ve forgotten/missed someone Characters who are no longer around/didn’t do lore aren’t included. Also super recent lore is being ignored because I cant keep changing this every time someone decides to flip their character motivations dammit (Im not including variations of a single character unless its a ghost btw. That means for example characters such as lmanburg Wilbur and revivedbur (two versions of one person) are gonna fall under the broad category of ‘Wilbur’.) Some of them will have explanations, some won’t. If you want me to explain my reasoning maybe I’ll make another post.  Maybe I’ll even make on for character relationships one day. Idk I have crippling anxiety online so I won’t post very often ////   Foolish: Constellations “I can feel it on my tongue, brick and mortar, thick as scripture drawing lines in the sand and lay in borders, as tall as towers, I babble on until my voice is gone.” Slime: This Will End “I will wait for this to end, the back and forth, the battery for you at last to comprehend, the kind of love of which I speak” Niki: Thus Always To Tyrants “Where I go will you still follow? Will you leave your shaded hollow? Will you greet the daylight looming? Learn to love without consuming?” Fundy: I was Wrong “I was born at the dawn of our folly I was young and stubborn to the bone, as I took from the tree that was rotting Ooh~ I took my chance and bit down deep” Tommy: Theseus “Whatever kingdom come, it probably won’t come quick, no mighty clarion to announce it, no single use ark to discard in an instant like Theseus’s ship, we’ll fix the busted bits, Till its both nothing like and everything its always been” (I know Tommy is likened to the hero Theseus because of Techno but I prefer to relate him to the conundrum of Theseus’ Ship instead- If you replace all the parts is it still the same ship? I think Tommy has been through a hell of a lot and probably struggles with the distance that has formed between early lmanburg Tommy and revived Tommy. Idk but I think its a much more fitting comparison than the actual hero. Honestly this whole song works and any part could match Tommy I could talk about this song in relation to Tommy for ages so I’ll cut it off here lmao) Jack: Where is your rider “So bury me as it pleases you lover- at sea or deep within the catacombs But these bones never rested while living so How can they stand to languish in repose” Boomer: Hieroglyphics “Stamping your heels along with the drum Praying the serpent’s underneath one of ‘em Like there’s some villain left to defeat Instead of a dance with a rhythm and beat”

(I don’t actually know Boomer’s lore so I kinda made a guess on this one from what little I’ve seen/heard. Pls let me know if there are better options) Philza: Eat You Alive “Ive seen the true face of the things you call life The song of the siren that holds your desire Death she is cunning and clever as hell And she’ll eat you alive” Sam: Lapis Lazuli “I don’t mean to speak so collectively I know I don’t make it easy to even wanna hear it What can I say, What can I say, What can I say 'Cause the more I recite it The more you wanna fight it The more my language is sounding fabricated”

(Sam is such a nuanced and interesting character who has such conflicting morals and priorities. His relationships are constantly being ruined by his strange reasoning and actions and I think this song conveys this quite well- He’s trying to explain himself but the more he talks, the worse it sounds) Sapnap: Oh Sleeper “I see the trail of shoulders I’ve climbed over but by god I’ll bloody up my hands with everything I am to cut away the mountains I’ve made and fill the dales below” (Sapnap fought on Dream’s side in the first war and has conflicts with many on there server but Kinoko is his new start and he’s trying his best to repair old relationships and make up for past mistakes- This song is about overcoming your past to be better and I think it just works) Techno: Oh Sleeper “The tables in the Temple will be turned on their side, and just as it scorches up the dunes beneath the height of noon the pillars of the empire will be burned in kind” (Technoblade and christianity/christ connections go brrrr) Wilbur: I Have Made Mistakes “We have lived in fear, we have lived in fear and our fear has betrayed us, we will overcome, we will overcome the apathy that has made us, ‘cause we are not alone, we are not alone in the dark with our demons We have have made mistakes, we have made mistakes but we’ve learned from them” Ghostbur: Pale White Horse “It was a pale white horse, with a crooked smile and I knew it was my time It was the raging storm, of a foreign war and a face I’d seen before” Eret: Rio Grande “May all our tinfoil idols Lay crumpled on the ground And our pre-fab Olympus Divided by the thousand Oh, maybe im naive for thinking, That a mountain so stubborn can move But if im a mountain moving I think you can be too” (Eret redemption arc woo) Bad: Notos “And every word you shouldn’t say Will come bubbling out of your throat But you’ve got no one left to blame For the things you lost to the winds of Notos”

(Bad’s lore is so cool and nuanced and AHHH I want to shake him violently for making me feel things. I think Bad places a lot of blame on people around him in an attempt to cope with his own bad decisions and actions (mind controlled or not) Puffy: Notos “Every inhale I take, swallows the ocean whole, and I am one With the hurricane, tall as the tide that laps with a rabid tongue With every exhale, I break you down with a fury, I lay the hills undone Like a dog gone untamed, bellowing out a river from my lungs”

Ponk: Trees “Climbing trees; haven’t much since we were children Shaking limbs tend to end up bent and broken But heartache pales in comparison to love”

Ranboo: Soap “I’ve heard If I were tougher Then maybe I’d make it alive I got a tender side I’ll need a harder shell to survive But if seeing is believing I don’t know I’ve seen a thing grow Without an open coat Not without a softness showing”

Purpled: Passerine “And as I prune my feathers like leaves from a vine I find that we have fewer and fewer in kind, but My palms and fingers still reek of gasoline From throwing fuel to the fire of that Greco-Roman dream Purifying the holy rock to melt the gilded seams”

Skeppy: On the Mountain Tall “I know you want me to be afraid I know you want me to love you Still the wild wind blows Up out the grave of an angry ghost Firing bricks from broken canon and prose To build a wall so high it reaches the heavens to the sky”

George: Exeunt “Now I am not the fool I was when I was younger, Crocodile eyes I have seen how you hunger. Fluttering your lashes like ashes and embers, Warm and bright as fire devouring timber, No, I cannot trust what you say when you’re grieving So my love im sorry but still I am leaving” Tubbo: Dear Wormwood “When I was a child I didn’t hear a single word you said The things I was afraid of They were all confined beneath my bed But the years have been long And you have taught me well to hide away The things that I believed in You’ve taught me to call them all escapes I know who you are now”

(go watch the Dear Wormwood Tubbo animatic by knp!!! its the best thing to ever happen to me) Quackity: The Lament of Eustace Scrubb “I know that I have gone astray 'Cause when I saw my reflection It was a stranger beneath my face It was a stranger beneath my face But I’ll come around I’ll come around Someday”

Dream: Hello my Old Heart “Hello, my old heart How have you been? How is it being locked away? Don’t you worry, in there you’re safe And it’s true, you’ll never beat But you’ll never break”

(im not a big fan of c!dream but I know a nuanced character when I see one dammit and I refuse to reduce c!dream to a simple evil dude. Mans has some strange fucked reasonings behind his actions and its so interesting to see it play out) Karl: In Memoriam “It’s been a long road, losing all I’ve owned And you don’t know what you’ve got until you’re gone And it’s a nasty habit, spending all you have, but If you’re doing all the leaving, then it’s never your love lost”

Schlatt: Wishing Well “For my soul, he made an offer And to the dust again I fell And oh, that devil’s got a hold on me now Because there wasn’t any water in the wishing well”

(not a c!schlatt apologist or trying to find excuses for him, just thought the song was neat in relation to both his status as this big, evil, power hungry president and as someone struggling with substance abuse) Hannah: Rose “What’s true is like a sickle It’ll cut you to the middle Your rose is without a thorn But no, my mouth don’t taste of metal From the pot here to the kettle I think we got a lot we gotta learn”

(one of the most on the nose song choices lmao. Not 100% on it but couldn’t thing of anything better)

Punz: Eurus “As Fortuna sits idly by I spin her wheel with all my might Crushing my kin for warring-wage Minted from the ivory of your tooth and eye”

Eryn: Torches “I got a venom like a snake running out of my mouth (running out of my mouth, running out of my mouth) Its got you burning at the stake, Innocent or not, you’re not a bet I care to take” (other then his childhood friends, c!eryn strikes me as quite a paranoid, mistrusting character. He’s constantly over-prepared for pvp situations and it makes me wonder about the rest of his backstory..) Connor: Torches “And father ignorance will make brothers of us all (brothers of us all, brothers of us all) As he sets our torch aflame Chasing down the flimsy spectres that we co-create” (c!Conner doesn’t have much lore but he was involved with the prison break and has ties now to the syndicate so he gets a song) Ant: Bitter water “Well, I still taste you on my lips Lovely bitter water The terrible fire of old regret is honey on my tongue And I know I shouldn’t love you I know I shouldn’t love you But I do”

Callahan: The Valley “We were born in the shadow Of the crimes of our fathers Blood was our inheritance No, we did not ask for this”

(callahans lore is so interesting ahhhh like what do you mean he has a history with XD?? What do you mean he’s Tina’s dog??? What do you mean he’s canonically been XD’s pet as well?? *shakes violently*) Hbomb: Cold is the Night “Steady is the hand that’s come to terms With the lessons it has had to learn And I’ve seen the things that I must do”

MichaelMC: Zephyrus “Whether by accident or fortune You and I We are matter And it matters I want to spin something out of nothing Lead to gold Spring from winter Story from moted sky”

Tina: Zephyrus “I wanna help mother up an orchard From a seed Up through sapling Daughter phoenix, rise”

XD: Thus always to Tyrants “Every tomb, every sea, spit the bones from your teeth Let the ransomed be free as the revel meets the day Let the valleys awake, let them rattle and shake In the wind that remakes all that time has worn away

Aimsey: Thus always to Tyrants “I will look for you as the sun rises higher When the dry bones dance with the timbrel and lyre There’s a wind alive in the valley It will fill your lungs, if you’ll have it”

Seepeekay: Constellations “Cause like constellations a million years away Every good intention, every good intention Is interpolation, a line we drew in the array Looking for the faces Looking for the shapes in the silence”

Updated Hermitcraft guide for Season 9! Now with mossy bdubs and eboy Cubfan, but more importantly, Pearl and Gem

-no one is aware of it until three days before, and they don’t know what team they’re getting

-team is picked by smajor throwing darts at a character tier list on the night before while slightly drunk

-ace race has absolutely scuffed shortcuts. wilbur soot manages to use every single one of them on accident. philza minecraft is crying.

-dodgebolt has two audience members fill in for a random player. unknown to the players smajor is rigging the system. twitter somehow finds out but is dismissed for being toxic

-technoblade is there and at every round, he randomly selects a team to fill in for. however, he is playing with a vr set and a steering wheel. he becomes more of a threat to the team he is filling in for than his opponents

-tommyinnit gets knock back 1000 sticks for every round doesn’t even matter what game it is he gets the sticks.

- dream wears his mask in real life as he plays. sapnap holds him at gunpoint after being promised to be shifted to s tier by scott major

-hbomb cosplays as cat maid for the other teams

here’s my dream smp streaming service!

that’s a joke, it’s not technically streaming, and it’s also completely free. but you get the idea.

it’s got every arc of all three seasons, plus links to l’cast and tales from the smp, and it’s organized very prettily (if i do say so myself).

[image ID: screenshot of the site open to the seasons page, with three seasons to choose from.]

i’m actually pissing myself this shit is so funny

first the sbi stream from hell and now ranboos microwave stream?