Quick reminder that it's always morally correct to punch nazis.

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@keenmarvellover
Quick reminder that it's always morally correct to punch nazis.

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Bruce Wayne at the circus, seeing a shocked eight year old little boy kneel on the ground in a puddle of his parents’ blood, and rushing from the stands to wrap him in his coat and carry him away. Bruce Wayne tucking the boy’s face into his shoulder and whispering as calmly as he can, “Don’t look. You’re going to be okay, I promise you’re going to be okay, just don’t look.”
Detective Gordon, watching as he walks by, being transported to twenty years prior when he was a rookie cop first on the scene for the Wayne murders and finding a shocked eight year old little boy standing in a puddle of his parents’ blood. Remembering how he wrapped his jacket around him and carried him away in a hurry, tucking his face into his shoulder and whispering, “Don’t look. You’re going to be okay, I promise you’re going to be okay, just don’t look.”
Gordon watching as the supposed playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne does everything he can to comfort Dick Grayson, this little boy from the circus he’s never even met before, because he knows exactly the kind of pain he’s going through in this moment.
Gordon realizing that his moment of panic when trying to get little Bruce Wayne away from his parents’ dead bodies had more of an impact than he ever could have imagined.
Rookie cop Jim Gordon carrying a shocked eight year old Bruce Wayne to his cruiser, rushing to get him away from the crime scene of his parents’ dead bodies. Bruce not letting go of him even when Jim tries to have him sit in the backseat. Bruce coming out of his shock with a shaking, rattling breath and a choked back cry. Jim whispering to him, “It’s okay if you cry. You can cry as much as you want, kid, I’m not going anywhere. It’s going to be okay.”
Eight year old Bruce letting out the most distressed sounding sob Jim has ever heard. Bruce gripping the shoulder of Jim’s shirt, crying out, “Mommy!” while Jim holds him tighter. Bruce trying to look back towards the alley, still calling for his parents, but Jim tucking his face back into his shoulder so he doesn’t see their bodies.
“Just don’t look,” Jim whispers.
Twenty years later, Bruce carries a shocked eight year old Dick Grayson out of the circus tent, rushing to get him away the sight of his parents’ dead bodies. Dick not letting go of him even as Bruce tries to set him down on a bench. Dick coming out of his shock with a shaking, rattling breath and a choked back cry. Bruce whispering to him, “It’s okay if you cry. You can cry as much as you want, chum, I’m not going anywhere. It’s going to be okay.”
Dick letting out the most distressed sounding sob Bruce has ever heard. Dick gripping the shoulder of Bruce’s shirt, crying out, “Mommy!” while Bruce holds him tighter. Dick trying to look back towards the tent, still calling for his parents, but Bruce tucking his face back into his shoulder so he doesn’t see their bodies.
“Just don’t look,” Bruce whispers.
Batman: This is Robin.
Robin: Hello.
(The Justice League stares.)
Flash: ...He's tiny.
Robin: I am average height for my age.
Green Lantern: Sorry, it's just—we expected... I don't know, taller?
Robin: Your expectations are irrelevant.
Flash: Oh.
Green Lantern: Oh, he's got Batman's personality.
Batman: Unfortunately.
Robin: Excuse me?
Superman: It's nice to meet you, Robin.
Robin: I am aware.
Superman: ...
Wonder Woman: You remind me of someone.
Green Lantern: How old are you?
Robin: Old enough to defeat you.
Green Lantern: That's... not what I asked.
Robin: It is, however, the correct answer.
Flash: I like him.
Batman: Don't encourage him.
Flash: Too late.
Flash: So what's your favorite part about being Robin?
Robin: Correcting Father.
Batman: Damian.
Robin: For example, yesterday Father said, "We'll only be gone an hour."
Flash: And?
Robin: We returned six hours later.
Batman: It was an estimate.
Robin: It was a lie.
Green Lantern: Oh my God.
Superman: He's keeping score?
Robin: There is a spreadsheet.
Batman: There is not.
Robin: There are three.
Robin: One is color-coded.
Flash: TIM MADE THOSE, DIDN'T HE?
Robin: Obviously.
Batman: We're moving on.
Aquaman: Wait, there are multiple Robins?
Robin: There have been.
Green Lantern: How many?
Batman: ...
Flash: Bats?
Batman: Enough.
Robin: Four, technically five.
Green Lantern: FIVE?
Robin: Grayson, Todd, Drake, Brown, and now myself.
Flash: Wait, there have been five Robins?
Robin: Correct.
Green Lantern: Spooky, you've just been collecting children.
Batman: That's not—
Superman: Bruce.
Batman: ...
Batman: It's more complicated than that.
Robin: It is not.
Batman: Damian-
Robin: Father encountered emotionally compromised children and reacted by giving them capes.
Wonder Woman: ...
Flash: That's... honestly the best description I've ever heard.
Green Lantern: I thought Robins were chosen through some impossible test.
Robin: They are.
Green Lantern: Really?
Robin: Father must look at you and think, "I can fix that."
Batman: That's enough.
Robin: Thus far, he has been incorrect.
Batman: ...
Batman: Next agenda item.
Flash: HE'S NOT DENYING IT.
Green Lantern: Batman's superpower is aggressive adoption.
Batman: Green Lantern.
Green Lantern: I'm just saying, most people see a traumatized kid and call a therapist.
Flash: Bruce sees one and goes, "Have you considered vigilantism?"
Batman: That is not how it happened.
Robin: It happened multiple times.
Robin: Six, if you count Signal.
Flash: SIX?!
Batman: We are ending this discussion.
Superman, smiling: Welcome to the League, Robin.
Robin: Thank you.
Superman: It's good to have you here.
Robin: Tt
(A brief silence.)
Flash: Aw.
Green Lantern: Did... did Batman just raise a polite child?
Batman: No.
Robin: Green Lantern, your ring constructs lack creativity, your combat stance is inefficient, and your haircut is deeply unfortunate.
(Another silence.)
Green Lantern: There he is.
Batman: There he is.
Okay I know there’s a lot of fics and headcanons out there where Dick is born in Europe or whatever because of the circus and he doesn’t speak a lot of English when he goes to live with Bruce? Well I was thinking abt it and what if we flip it
Haly’s Circus has ties to the Court of Owls, so wouldn’t it make sense if they were in Gotham/the US more often? To check up on their potential Talons? Especially their new Gray Son. There’s no way they’d let him be born too far from them.
Dick is born at Gotham General, just like his father. And yes, he does learn to speak a couple other languages from his family and the others in the circus, but he’s American. They tour in Europe maybe every other year. He mostly speaks English, but he also knows French from his mother and maybe hes halfway fluent in Italian because his Aunt Karla speaks it to him and his cousin (I had a headcanon a while ago that she was from Italy but I don’t remember why? But it’s fun if he knows like the swear words specifically in Italian). He knows the swear words in several languages, but he can’t actually hold more than a basic sentence in more than maybe 2-3 languages total at this age.
So when he’s 8 and goes to live with Bruce after his family dies, he doesn’t understand why the public seems to think he doesn’t speak English. There are socialites and interviewers who say as much to Bruce, about how hard it must be to raise a foreign circus orphan, how do they even communicate?
“I was born in fucking Gotham,” this little eight year old spits at them.
Bruce is also one of those people who can’t help but laugh when kids swear, so he’s just sputtering and choking back a laugh as he ushers Dick away from the cameras.
Idk I just thought it would be a funny flip of the usual fics I’ve seen
Imagine Eva Stratt years after sending her favorite guy to boss around to space. Getting the logs and recordings and finding out that her guy made first contact with sapient alien life and it IMMEDIATELY started bossing him around too. Like what if you surrendered your dog and it got adopted by an alien instantly. Happened to my girl Eva Stratt

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inspired by @casgirl’s tags on this post:
all roads lead to teachers
saw a post so bad i whispered “i don’t like you” and set my phone down
saw a post so bad
i whispered “i don’t like you”
and set my phone down
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Con sonido! 🔈🔉🔊
The face of a woman regretting the music lessons.
This is fairly close to the relationship I had with my mom.
i love those little moments where her face lights up because the joy of the joke far outweighs how sick of it she is. like the moment with the star wars music? *chef’s kiss*

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The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He—wait. Why dost the Lord hath clippers.
The Lord sheareth me.
“Jesus Shaves”
having to stop your conversation with a coworker when a customer walks in has the same vibe as two knights talking ildly on guard duty who have to quickly shut up and resume their positions as the king walks by. at least. i think so
TikTok is a fundamentally evil app however the reason i use it is because you occasionally stumble across gems like the Chinese power transformer manufacturer who posts kawaii edits of their power transformers
u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

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merlin, just got back from dying: Did you miss me while I was gone?
arthur, just spent a week rampaging through the city looking for him: You were gone?
You basically summed up every episode
four whole days in the tAVERn
Deliberately throws all his shit around his chamber so Merlin has to be in there longer to tidy it. Doesn't even care that the job is half-arsed, as long as it only gets done while he's in the room with him.
Spelling mistakes? I guarantee neither of us saw those at 3:00 AM Monday Morning.