they can say it all sounds crazy

Hey, Keanu! I know we know each other already. But we can always get to know each other better. The qualities I look for in a student council president are: loyalty, generosity, open-mindedness, integrity, and intellect. It’s important to have someone who we know will fight for their students and do what is best for the school. Someone who will listen to our concerns. And someone who knows how to get the resources that are needed. My questions… What do you think this school needs to most improve on? And what are your goals in becoming the student council president?

Hello, Claudine! It’s always a pleasure, particularly under these circumstances; when it comes to canvassing the student body, every opinion is important, but I particularly value yours, and frankly, I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s almost uncanny how many of the traits you pinpointed that I have listed as crucial to the job, actually. I’m so glad you asked. Our school, while a wonderful school, has a lot of spots that are open to improvement. First and foremost, our method of gathering data on what students find important is archaic -- we need to upgrade so that student suggestions can be filed as quickly as sending a Tweet. After all, the faster we know what we ought to be working on, the sooner we can yield results. My goals including cutting the time between suggestions and results by over 60% if all works out. Other goals also include initiating a gratitude program; there are many people at our school who work to make it one of the best places to study in the kingdom, such as the professors and custodians and teacher’s assistants and administrative team, and they deserve recognition. It’s good for morale and could keep things moving smoothly. I also want to update the tutoring program to be as efficient as possible, improve the graduation rate, upgrade the books available in the library, implement an apocalypse survival camp for those interested, and more. 

Keanu: Addison, I come bearing exciting news. Or, at least, it's exciting for me. If it isn't for you, pretend for my sake. After a grueling summer of wrestling with the first eleven steps of my program for eliminating "feels" for a certain individual that needn't be named, I've arrived at the last step.

Claudine: If anyone is in need of a tutor for the semester, I am accepting new students. I am versed in the following subjects: chemistry, biology, statistics, and algebra I & II.

Claudine: I was excited, give me a break. lol

Claudine: Well, I can ask to clarify, but my original assumption was that we would be equals. I think that would be for the best anyways.

Keanu: In my experience, both firsthand and observed, being excited leads to an overkill on caps-lock, not the exact opposite. And no. Being excited doesn't excuse a lack of grammar. I've certainly never let mine slip regardless of whatever else is happening in my life.

Claudine: great news! well, hopefully good news lol. I talked to one of the professors and they'd be cool with both of us being TA's for them if you'd be up for that?

Keanu: Your abysmal punctuation is distracting; give me a minute to look past it and read your actual message.

Yeah but then you kept calling me a robot and I threw it out the window! Are robots allowed to lie? I feel like they shouldn’t be allowed to lie and this should count as proof that I’m a human!

You’re proof that robots can lie. Either that or you were programmed so that you don’t know that you’re a robot, and if that’s the truth, my condolences, but that’s not my responsilty or my problem.

But that just can’t be true, since y’know! I’m a real girl! I’m not malfunctioning!!!

Remember when you promised that it was the last time you’d swear that? I miss those times. Good times.

What if I got hit by a car and it hurt me bad enough that they had to do a surgery on me and they did it in one of those rooms where people can look down on it from a special gallery area?  Would THAT convince you?

I said “literally nothing” and I meant it, stop malfunctioning.

Very nearly convincing?! What would it even take to convince you all the way?Do you need to see me pass a CAPTCHA or something?

There's literally nothing you can do to convince me so conserve your battery and stop trying.

Addison: Does air have an expiration date? Like can it go stale being trapped in an enclosed space or too long or does it stay good permanently?

Addison: And no, no one did that right now! But I watched a TikTok about someone being mad at their boyfriend and cropdusting them and my brain just started wandering!

Keanu: According to the FDA, it doesn't, especially if it's enclosed properly, which all of MY oxygen tanks are.

To my knowledge, I do not think about @hadleyforte and @claudine--frollo in the same way that they think about each other. Unless Claudine is secretly besotted with Hadley and Hadley thinks Claudine needs to toughen up and gain about sixty percent more confidence, which I highly doubt.

What, finding out that @viper-bubbles liked me when she was 11? Am I supposed to feel anything about that? That was so long ago and so inconsequential to both of our lives.

As always, I will disclose that @hokukawena is invited into the bunker because she has the good fortune of being my family, and @addisonpendragon has also earned her way in, but the other people I’m considering allowing access will remain a secret so that nobody gets complacent. I will say that we will obviously need people to repopulate with, and I do not plan on doing so with either my cousin or Addison, so more options will have to be pulled in for them or me. I had been considering @hadieathanasius for Addison but he’s proved unworthy so I’m brainstorming who would bring something to the table, survival wise, while still being someone she could have feelings for. I need to plan someone for Hoku too. I’ve been neglecting this so much and I blame my feelings for @hadleyforte but at the same time, I think she could potentially be a bunker buddy too. Her and @kendallandersen, I guess, who’s camping skills overlap with survival skills significantly enough, and if they’re in, @claudine--frollo is in too, so long as she toughens up between now and then.

FOR THE LAST TIME! I SWEAR I'M A HUMAN WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How very nearly convincing, but good. I hope it’s the last time you weakly protest, Robo-cket.

I’m nearly positive that @lysslumos and @laceyjean‘s fathers are having an affair but that’s a common theory. @ben-desrosiers is most likely Maleficent’s son switched at birth with Beast and Belle’s true child, and Fairy Godmother is the true mastermind behind Auradon and used her magic to hypnotize Beast into making all the kingdoms into one that she could rule through him.

There’s no doubt about it; it’s @rocketstrongbow. You’re welcome.