ThiccGayBitch

#honestly i dont care if its fake

It’s not. It happens every day all around the world.

I HAVE BEEN ON THIS EXACT DATE.

me and my partner have been obsessed with the unhinged insanity of this video for the last day. I can’t stop thinking about it.

it just keEPS GOING

Can we talk about this video and how I CAN NOT.

…the fuck.

The “And One More Thing” quality of this reminds me of the Taco Town SNL sketch

i think what makes this one special is how long into the video it remains credibly edible. like “oh it’s pulled chicken. oh, chicken tacos. chicken tacos in a pizza shape? okay sour cream goes with tacos, the mayo’s weird but. hey wait what are you doing with those frying ingredients”

Wow…

*alleviates your anxiety by replacing it with new, less relevant anxiety”

*distracts you from the state of the world by giving you a phobia of blue whales* 

Gaud its just a whale. Have you ever met a blue whale? It won’t hurt you.

listen fucker, whale songs can be twice as loud as a fucking jet engine, more than loud enough to burst eardrums, paralyze limbs and cause organ damage at close range. sperm whales, the loudest animal on the planet, could literally vibrate a human body to death. the sheer fact they don’t is either ignorance, choice, or lack of opportunity–not inability. as for blue whales (aka the biggest creature to exist ever despite the fact that megafauna roamed the earth for tens of millions of years before these fucks came around), well a blue whale’s corpse is capable of literally exploding from gas buildup. and that’s not even getting into my extreme visceral discomfort surrounding whale falls aka the process of a whale carcass falling abyssal depths of thousands and thousands of feet, just falling through the fucking water to the ocean floor and creating a complex localized ecosystem capable of sustaining who-knows-what kind of deep-sea terrors for decades, so kindly get fucked. 

#and just like that you’re not thinking of coronavirus anymore

thank you for this free trial. I would like to unsubscribe from your service

nonsense! follow me now to get a free lifetime supply of intrusive thoughts about oarfish!!!

absolutely fascinated by the amount of people replying to the latest book by That Author with “well is this *other example of a serial killer man who wears dresses* transphobic as well???” like yes congrats you just realised how much horror/thriller stuff is transmisogynistic

this is cool but why is it shot like the intro credits of a crime drama

if you told me this was from an episode of Hannibal where he makes chocolate w human blood i would 1000% believe you

Marry that man

holy fuck the breadth of emotion in this video is astounding

He is now doomed to play this everytime when there’s family dinner/visit