Passionate. Patient. Present.

Everything we need to know about how to live a meaningful and purpose-driven life has been said before. <By smarter, more memorable people.> But sometimes, when someone else says it, in a different way -- it strikes harder. So let’s say it when we feel it, right? Living here for 29 years has taught me a few things.

One of those simple things: Nothing heals a broken spirit like being outside. Walking among the trees and a flowing stream, or even just sitting in a yard under the sun ... is enough. Being outside heals. It heals big, in every way. Get out there, in the elements and remember how to feel something.

Another thing 29 has taught me is: Effort is what makes our lives what they are. It’s what makes everything. The amount of effort we put toward something will usually dictate what we get out of that experience. So, if we want more, we usually give more of our attention and effort to that thing. Typically, we have a better experience around that thing or activity. Sounds simple, right? Then just apply it to the simple things. Make the extra effort to take the kids to the park or let them mix the cookie batter, or help clean the bathroom. Make it simple, but apply the effort to let that in. I’m a mom, so I’m thinking of mom things right now. But it can be as simple as making the effort to actually talk to your deskmate in lab, or ask your colleague about their life when you’re at the microwave heating your lunch. Or nowadays <quarantine days>, slacking them to see what’s new in their personal life. The simple stuff does matter. 

But some rare times, that’s not the case. Sometimes, our efforts aren’t matched and we need to retract to save the energy that we do have. Sometimes, that energy can never be matched, and so the best thing to do is retract all of our energy and pivot. Pivoting is what we can do when we are stuck and need to refresh our souls and get on a different course in our lives.

When we pivot, we can take ourselves back. We remember that we are fluid beings and we can adapt and change as our lives require. We can rub our eyes again and see the world as it is -- simple and full of experiences and people who give us the gratitude we desire and deserve. We can pivot and maybe even remember what we meant to do in the beginning, but forgot along the way.

Life is busy, but we make time for the people who, and experiences that are important to us. We can always restructure and rearrange our lives for what is important to us. 

Other things I’ve learned in my 29 years: When something’s not for us, oftentimes, it fights us. It will seem off-course and lead us to experiences -- days, nights, weeks, years --  that don’t feel like they belong to us. These experiences are here ... or were -- they happened -- but they are not for us. They didn’t happen for us to ruminate on -- to go over and over in our mind. They happened, they weren’t for us -- we knew it at the time, and now we can flow forward. Now, I’m not talking about work. Most of the time, to get to the place we want to be in our careers, we need to go through experiences that make us work for our dream. Tribulations to the top are common, expected, and needed to get to the goal. But when something is fighting our energy in every case, inhibiting our progress and light -- it’s probably not for us. In these cases, pivoting is the only way to get back to our true selves and the life we remembered we wanted to work for.

And another thing I’ve learned: It doesn’t matter our age, we can start living into who we really are at any age, after any experience, and through all of the sludge. We can decide today, and begin. We can decide to keep living into that the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next -- until we are living like we planned to live. Or close to. And one day, we reflect and realize, we are actively living into the people we envisioned ourselves being. We’re living on that higher ground. We are doing those things, we are going to those places, we are feeling those feelings. We are those people.

We can decide, pivot, and act again. It’s never too late to remember who we are and what we’re here for.

I don’t know why I haven’t written in so long. It seems surreal. So much in my life has changed, yet so much has stayed the same. It’s really amazing how patterns keep showing up in your life when you don’t acknowledge them.

I’m working on being more free lately. Not in terms of anything other than a feeling. One of the easiest things for me to do was free write and channel after meditating. My narrative now is that life is so busy and I have put my self-care routines on the sidelines. I have a nine year old and a nine month old. Both little girls. I’m so blessed to have them, and it’s not lost on me at any time. I am working full time, and right now, both girls are home with me during this virus lockdown. 

In my daze, glaze, and haze the past couple years, I actually let my website karissakuhle.com expire. That’s semi-sad. I guess I need to start fresh with that. Probably not a bad prompt. I just had so much portfolio-esque past work stuff on there that...I guess I also have it in a Word doc, so we should be good.

Anyways, I’m still living in Minnetonka, MN. One my my most recent posts was from a couple of years ago when I was just moving here. I’m still in the same apartment, but we’re outgrowing it. Not the area though, I’d like to stay in this area. Brooke goes to a great school, Ivy a great daycare, and my work is a reasonable commute. 

But back to the pattern thing. I’m back to a writing job for a university. I’ve been here a little more than a year, and it makes me slow grin thinking about how similar my habits are right to to when I was a writer at SDSU. I’ve started thinking similar thoughts and seeking out similar activities. Ear buds with music, walks, reading. Writing introspectively to understand things throughout the day. Questioning certain people and social behaviors. Seeking personal growth and something unique.

Being a mom to a little baby again is also [an amazing] repeated cycle, though this go-around it’s much different. I’m 9 years older and have two pumpkins now. Ivy is more challenging as a baby. I used to say Brooklyn was “easy” to take care of as an infant. Because she was. Sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. Ivy hasn’t slept through the night yet and she’s 9 months! Oh well. We’re given what we can handle, right? She’s a doll of a baby though, with a personality as sweet as her older sisters. 

I’m not going to say that I’m going to write on here again tomorrow, or soon because saying so will make it less likely to happen. But I would like to start something new, or fun. A series or project of some sort either blog, vlog, pod, pics. Who knows. 

I do have a lot of things I want to reflect on at this time in my life. When Brooklyn was a tot I used to write blogs about her developmental updates, so maybe we’ll have that be a little series for baby Ives. 

There is always time. 

Moving gives you a special power. You’re the new girl, and no one knows anything about you. That’s good and that’s bad. When you move, you have the chance to reinvent yourself, essentially. But that’s the thing, unless you’re ready to, you remain the same person you were in the previous location. I didn’t move to do such. I moved to be exposed to a new area, open myself and my daughter up to new experiences and adventures, and try on a different job (with the same underpinnings as my last). One thing moving does is it allows us to reevaluate our existing patterns and habits and reshape them in a better way.

Since moving, we’ve been outdoors more, we’ve been out and about more and we’ve opened ourselves up to a whole new area. Brooklyn’s slept in her own room every night and made her bed every morning. We’ve had supper around our dining table or together in the breakfast area every night. We’ve read books before bed every night. We haven’t watched TV (cuz we don’t have cable) and we’ve spent much less time on our devices.

Of course I have feelings of missing my previous town, my previous job … familiar faces, familiar areas. I miss my little brother stopping over every other night. [ A LOT :( ] But inherently, I’m an adventurous person and after seven years in the same town, I was ready to see what else was out there. I’m still close, only about three and a half hours away. I’m still in the Midwest. I can still drive 20 minutes away and see farms.

Over the three weeks, I’ve figured out where my grocery store is, explored the antique stores downtown, [found an amazing Indian restaurant like the one that was 20 steps away from my old apartment], got Brooklyn set up in summer child care/camp, and started the enrollment process for her new elementary school in the fall. I bought a new couch and living room furnishings, a dining room table and chairs and got the other adult stuff you need to be normal.

Something, though, that I’ve always had a hard time with … is making stuff final. Stuff in general. I still need to check out of my old apartment, I need to hang my pictures, and make this place, my place. I lived in my last apartment in Brookings for two years and never hung art or photos in my upstairs because I was waiting for the right pieces. Like what? Haha. I’m going to do my best to make this place my home and … complete it.  

I’ve always been a strong believer in the fact that we shape our own worlds how we want them by the thoughts we think and the actions we take. I’ve only meditated once since being here, and I haven’t worked out at all. I’ve written [in my personal notebook] only once as well. So while getting the outward stuff finalized is important, I’ve always been more into getting my inward stuff figured out.

I need to wash my yoga mat (muddy from the beach), set a time each day that’s dedicated to meditation and visualization, get my workouts on my radar, and write every. single. day. To be happy and to be me, I have to write what I’m doing and feeling, and that doesn’t mean for this blog or anything like that. That means I have to explain my life and my days to myself, for myself. That being said, I also need another form of creative outlet …. Be it - starting a new blog series on here, updating my video Instagram account or trying something completely new. Brooklyn received the golden microphone award when she was in Kindergarten for always being the pillar in her classroom for explaining and projecting what they were doing, always sharing her voice (in plays and through class projects, etc.) and I feel like that’s always been something that’s in my makeup as well. I need to share with others in some sort of public or creative forum to feel like myself.

With all of this flux, I have to remember who I am, and remember to show people who I am and how I am, authentically, in as many situations as I can. With my past experiences, I became so comfortable in who I was (which is 100!) that I almost needed another challenge + setting to make myself do just that … again. I read somewhere recently that if you’re not obsessed with your life, change it. And as a passionate person, I’ve always tried to be obsessed with as many areas of my life as I can. Because as cliché as it sounds, we do only live once. Why be bored ... why always be immersed in the familiar? Change it up and morph into your bigger self. I believe that when we take risks, challenge ourselves and popular ideas, we are beginning the process of morphing into our best selves. Cheers to new beginnings, and —>

Take risks, because in all honesty … YOLO. 

It’s been nine years. Nine years that I’ve been at SDState. I’ve served in many different capacities: advertising student, fundraising intern, records office intern, writing intern, full-time PR writer, graduate student, content strategist and social media coordinator. It’s crazy that tomorrow is my last day. There’s a lot of sadness leaving SDState, but a lot of things to look forward to. During my time here, I’ve been afforded so much. I’ve been trusted to share my ideas, do the research, get the story, find a new way to do things.

Being great and doing great things takes so many people, and I am so lucky to say that during my time at State, I’ve gained a lot of great mentors…People who have seen and honed my potential. I never thought right out of advertising school I’d become a PR full-time writer? During that time, I met so many different and unique people who helped me understand the world from a different perspective. And after I learned that trade, I expressed my interest in doing something different, something more, and was encouraged to step away from “pounding nails” and look into a different job in the office. A job that I have thoroughly and completely enjoyed over the past two years. I’ve gotten to take the research and insight that I’ve gathered and “make the plans.”… Shape the social voice and tone of our university and teach students to do so alongside me. I’ve met so many people that I’ve taught how to use the web and social media and the value of doing so…to connect. To learn. To understand. And to be a part of the important conversation that’s happening between our university and our audiences that we want to learn more about and attract. Public relations is so much more than lists, numbers and metrics, it’s about telling the story of the people. People who you want to be a part of the beauty that is higher education. I’ve always valued the idea of higher education. 

Ideas. Diverse people. New perspectives. A melting pot of young people who want to help shape our world. And reshape our world. I’ll always be an advocate for higher education and the promotion of it. And I’m always grateful that I got to start my career working in a field that literally changes people’s lives. 

Mortality and ephemerality are tough concepts to understand. Sometimes this life deals us circumstances and situations that we do not understand in the moment. Hard situations. Life altering situations. Sometimes we’re given a test that we can’t figure out. We feel like we’re failing that test and won’t get out without fighting it tooth and nail. But it’s in those moments that we can be sure that we were brought or given the test to see how we prevail. Each test is another chance for us to spread more light to those around us. To breathe a little deeper. To have the longer, deeper conversations. To try and understand different perspectives. To live into the new test and come out on the other side of that test with more vigor and sunshine than we started with.

This week, the children who I nannied for growing up, and their mother—a lady who can fittingly be described as superhuman—lost their father and husband unexpectedly. Knowing their love and family strength, I understand that they will work through this with love and strength. But my heart still breaks. Situations like this show us that we truly never know what’s going to happen in an hour, in a day, in a month, in a year. Talking with them today made me reflect on the essence of connection.

Each day is a new chance to make the effort. To have a deeper connection with those around you. To leave situations better than you found them. To show people you care. To tell people how you feel and make sure they know where you stand. Even if it’s the post office worker that you see once a month, or the coffee shop barista who has your order down—make the effort to know the world better. There’s some research … somewhere … from someone … that said that one of the sole indicators of happiness in one’s life is the quality of their relationships. I consider that the relationship with self, with family, with friends, with acquaintances, with our environment.

We really are here to make connections with others. My sister (who’s incessantly studying for her boards in June) said something to me on the phone tonight to the effect of “I realize in the time that I’m alone with myself that I’m here to connect with people.” Solitude is a beautiful thing, but we can’t let the digital world substitute for our face-to-face relationships and conversations.

Getting out of routine and bubbles can be difficult, but it’s always worth the effort. To learn more about those around us. To spread our truths. To show people who we really are in every situation that we can. I have this little book called “The Meaning of Life” that I’ve been mildly obsessed with for a few years. It’s simple and short—the length, a metaphor—speaking to the qualities, experiences and things necessary to provide meaning in our lives. Simple. Dig into those simple things, relish them and breathe them in. Always with your truth. 

[playlist below!]

So tonight I tweeted “Sometimes you just gotta put in the ear buds and crank rod stewart, sonny+cher and the lovin’ spoonfuls and remember what’s up.”

Music has a powerful transformational quality. I often wonder what I would do if I didn’t have music to get me through the day. I listen to music when I’m walking to and from work, when I’m getting ready, when I’m writing, when I’m in my car. All of the time. It’s always different music and very random—ranging from oldies to 90s rap. But the fact is that music has the power to take us from the moment and transport us somewhere else…either to the old days or just remind us to look around and appreciate. I’ll often be walking and jamming out, while looking around and remembering all of nature’s beauty and be instantly reminded of why I need to be thankful for the life I’m living.

Sometimes when I’m sad, I’ll listen to songs that make me more sad. Sometimes when I’m happy, I’ll listen to songs that my friends, siblings and I listened to on high school camping trips and be transported back to the simpler days. Oftentimes, I’ll write to music that has no lyrics—just a beautiful melody that makes me feel alive.

Tonight though, I’m feeling the old stuff. My parents and siblings were always obsessed with listening to the Beatles, the Doobie Brothers, Bread, Lynyrd Skynyrd, CCR, etc. And that kind of music just has a happy effect on me.

I learned something interesting when I was in a Rock and Roll Appreciation course in college—the only music that infants are not naturally conditioned to like is country. VIBES! Haha. That being said, there are some good country songs that my friends have taught me to love.

Anyway, here are some links so some old songs that always bring me happiness and nostalgia [in no particular order]:

I Got You Babe//Sonny and Cher: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylGrQVL774k

Ohh La La//The Faces: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_xwnb3cymc

Maggie May//Rod Stewart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVApuLlv-rU

Do You Believe in Magic//The Lovin’ Spoonful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDYNuD4CwlI

Dancing In the Moonlight//King Harvest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMc8naeeSS8

Black Water//Doobie Brothers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km4-eKvv3EM

Don’t You//Simple Minds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdqoNKCCt7A

Stuck In the Middle With You/Stealers Wheel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DohRa9lsx0Q

Jet Airliner//Steve Miller Band: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlFXhigvTvM

Life’s Been Good//Joe Walsh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXWvKDSwvls

Penny Lane//The Beatles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-rB0pHI9fU

Curtis Lowe//Lynyrd Skynyrd: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSvKkMs2ieo

Lady Madonna//The Beatles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLRiGX3L-kw

Maybe I’m Amazed//Paul McCartney: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm2YyVZBL8U

Brandy//Looking Glass: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVx8L7a3MuE

The Lovely Linda//Paul McCartney: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn-wqFI9YcE

Fortunate Son//CCR: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40JmEj0_aVM&list=PLf6-wYiizn9OeMoUX_QpvHpClWuGdwn-r

When I’m 64//The Beatles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoG0d6HK2Vw&index=9&list=PLoVsn4Sj7sy_lBDQbtcilDyo0fadRBVW6

With A Little Help From My Friends//Paul McCartney: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75Oct1Qv8x0

Signed, Sealed, Delivered//Stevie Wonder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inXC_lab-34

Build Me Up Buttercup//The Foundations: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iol0B-clFFM

ABC//The Jackson 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e5qLfeDJmk

Everything I Own//Bread: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q1kB0R4Ijs

Fire and Rain//James Taylor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3uaXCJcRrE

Danny’s Song//Kenny Loggins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FDcTyyXQb8

Old Man//Neil Young: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYUgGs9IStY

Landslide//Stevie Nicks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xW2taEoH6s

Rich Girl//Hall and Oats: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIAkRVBS-0U

Leather and Lace//Stevie Nicks and Don Henley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLEMiDrdSKU

Me and Bobbie McGee//Janis Joplin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXV_QjenbDw

Gimme Some Water//Eddie Money: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU-KVObNEd4

Piece of My Heart//Janis Joplin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0f5ZG9LG6k

Tiny Dancer//Elton John: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBWfUc5jKiM 

The good stuff —>