T H I E F .

❝ Again, you’re not in prison, I don’t know why I said that. ❞

❝ Ayy, caught you eyeing my gel balls. That’s what makes it extra crunchy. ❞

❝ What… are you wearing? What is—? I’m wearing my full business regalia, and you look like Little Nemo. ❞

❝ When would a murder come at an opportune time? ❞

❝ We absolutely are going to fire you out of a cannon. ❞

❝ You kinda sound like, uh, some kind of wolf-man. ❞

❝ Please put your head flush with the back of the chair so you don’t break— any of your neck bones! ❞

❝ A swamp is not a beverage. I’m just going to go ahead and cut— cut you off at the pass there. Swamps aren’t drinkable. ❞

❝ Aw, no, you got swamp jizz in your eyes! ❞

❝ Let the man smell your hand! ❞

❝ I’m just saying I’m feeling— I’m feeling you. As a buddy. As a friend. ❞

❝ This is my, my flair. We all get to wear one piece of flair on Tuesdays. ❞

❝ You won’t need a full night’s sleep. But if you’re feeling nappy, this is a place where, historically, people sleep. ❞

❝ We actually need extra pillows. I sleep with a pillow between my knees and between my elbows and behind my  head and under my feet, if I could get— ❞

❝ I’m eating hardtack. Life’s hard on the road. ❞

❝ Yes. I— a witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name, [speaker’s Name]. ❞

❝ Strangers aren’t strangers anymore once you’ve talked to them and learned their names. ❞

❝ The memory of my grandpa’s name died long before I was born. ❞

❝ Oh, that’s not that weird to have a train name. A name that you use only on trains. ❞

❝ I feel like this conversation is starting to take a turn for the worse, so I’m gonna head out. ❞

❝ This is a real garden I tend to myself to help me exorcise my demons. ❞

❝ I did detective good enough to see through your horseshit, so I can’t be too bad. ❞

❝ I wanna tell you a story about the time that there were three ogres, right? And then one of them punched me so hard I almost died. ❞

❝ I’m chilling, I’m almost dead! I’m gonna chill here. ❞

❝ You are impossible to talk to, and this is the worst conversation I’ve ever done. ❞

❝ I’ve found that not killing is pretty easy. I go long periods of time without killing anybody. ❞

❝ Bad news compadres, this place is magic as hell. ❞

❝ I mean, that’s a— that one’s pretty obvious but if you’re having trouble, a thing can’t live without a head. ❞

❝ I’m going to kill everyone here, and then I’m going to bring you all back to life again, and then I’m going to kill you again. ❞

❝ Meat monsters don’t go to heaven. ❞

❝ Wait a minute! I got it I got it, I got it. I got it. Okay. Listen: This is stupid. Are you ready to do something really stupid? ❞

❝ I was gonna eat ‘em as a traintime snack, but I forgot to eat ‘em in the train times. ❞

❝ Listen, kid, I’m not a magic worker, okay? Well, technically speaking, I am in fact a magic worker, but… I’m busy. ❞

❝ I can’t believe you’ve done it again. I can’t believe you’ve done this. ❞

❝ Anything your heart desires I can put it in your mouth. ❞

❝ Say no to bad dick! ❞

❝ Yeah, I’m already two-monitoring this shit, this is getting out of control, I guess I can loop my television— anyway, okay. ❞

                                ‘ I’m the best thief in the galaxy. Got to keep it that way.                                                                                             ind. kasumi goto rp !

❝     i  dunno     -     i’m  not  sure  if  the  collectors  have  bank  accounts.     ❞     he  muses     ,     a  light  lift  to  his  voice  as  the  statement  elicits  a  gentle  laugh.  john  often  saw  the  best  in  people     …     even  when  he  probably  shouldn’t     -      he  wasn’t  exactly  a  bleeding  heart     ,     but  he  didn’t  think  everyone  was  all  bad.  not unless  they  gave  him  a  reason  to.  it  was  just  part  of  his  personality.  maybe  it  was  one  of  the  things  that  brought  people  into  their  cause.  even  working  with  cerberus.

he  folds  his  arms  across  his  chest     ,      leaning  against  the  nearest  wall  and  crossing  his  ankles  into  a  casual  stance.  they’d  been  around  each  other  enough  for  john  to  know  she  was  giving  him  a  look  underneath  the  hood  that  covered  her  eyes.      ❝     what  about  you     ?     ❞     is  the  question.      ❝     ever  wanted  to  leave  some  lasting  impression  on  the  galaxy  before  this  is  all  over     ?     ❞     he  wasn’t  certain  they’d  all  make  it  out  of  this  in  one  piece     -     or  alive     ,      for  that  matter.

A shake of her head and hand on hip brings her back to the moment, just barely hearing his question. “ Usually leaving a trace as a thief is a bad thing, but . . . “ She had thought of it before; if what she had decided to do was really worth doing. She may steal, but she never does it without a good cause backing it up.

------ (ok, sometimes its just because she thinks something is pretty, but most of the time its for a good reason). 

“ I have considered it; like to think I do something every now and then that makes people smile. “ Her thoughts float briefly to the painting in her cabin, wondering how the young girl she helped is doing -- maybe she should check on her before the end of . . . whatever their mission will turn out to be. “ What do you think ---- should I go back to my calling cards? I do miss those roses. “ She laughs softly and taps her chin in thought. 

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

“A greybox is a neural implant. Illegal in most places. Stores memories, thoughts, secret codes, illicit information.