Chive Awesomeness!

Did you hear about the short fortune teller that escaped from prison? He is reported to be a small medium at large.

I'd be happy to tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it...

Dad Joke- Dad: You got a letter from the school today Kid:What is it? Dad: it's a big building with lots of students, but that's not important right now

College is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then as you cross, you get hit by an airplane.

Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?

Whenever you go to adopt a cat, you will immediately realize that the cat actually chooses you.

2005 - Cellphones were used for calling, texting, and the game snake. They were indestructible.  2015 - Smartphones are used for doing almost everything. They are easily destroyed.

What country is next to USA? USB!

My philosophy like color television is all there in black and white.

What do you call a dystopian novel that rubs you the wrong way? Science friction

How to mess with the nerds: Star Force, the War Awakens

I have seen a 'Be Kind Rewind' sticker in a rental DVD case...

When making pipes, please note that the inside diameter measurement must never exceed the outside diameter. #engineering

So, I kicked the bucket today... Nearly gave my family a heart attack. #stayinalive

How to win the war on drugs: 1. Legalize them 2. Require all drugs to be purchased through Comcast customer service.

If I literally use an analogy to describe a metaphor about an idiom... Am I being ambiguous, literal, descriptive, or analogous?

A local theater put together an act about jokes.  It was a play on words