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we're not kids anymore.
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@kaytypes
Dear Rodney,
Iâm going to move way different with you.
YOU will pursue ME.
YOU will make it known to me that you want me.
I know what Iâm capable of. I know Iâm worthy of love. I know Iâm a gem and I know if I stay true to myself, youâre going to want to know me better. Youâre want fo build with me.
Im so done chasing men. Im so done putting myself out there for men. Iâm over not making room for men to miss me.
It changes now though.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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SO IM FINALLY OVER THAT NIGGA
lmfaoooo you know
Sometimes I genuinely make myself laugh
Because for every nigga that I think it âspecialâ and swear I wont ever get that vibe again.... I find another nigga to vibe with with the same qualities lmfaoooo
So you knowwwww.
Im not going to stress about a nigga being âmy only hope in finding my soulmateâ
Because thatâs just not true.
My heart is so free and i always find someone new Iâm willing to give my heart to.
So I really need to stop with the dramatics forreal.
Cause Rodney gives me the same vibes.
I feel like thatâs my twin cause we have the same type of humor. And overall, heâs a GREAT GUY.
I need to stop kidding myself because thereâs going to always be someone FOR me.
I wonât lie to myself
Im still angry... but I have to hide it.
I still want you... but I have to hide it.
I still sleep with your sweater on... but I have to hide that.
I still want you next to me... but I have to hide that.
You still seem like the one.
I canât even put it into words how angry I am that this didnât work out.
Our truth might have been different for you
But if shit was that good with you, how can i find something like that again?
In this fucked up world? In a world with everyone having poor intentions and no one really connecting with me like you did...
You really were my ouce of hope
I really thought I could stop looking
And before you told me what you told me...
I actually stopped looking.
I thought you were it.
Thought you were my last.
And my mindset is stuck on that.
Idk if i want anyone else....
Year 2021
One day youâre going to realize that your other
Is me.
One day youâre going to realize it doesnât get any better
Than me.
One day youâre going to realize that there was a purpose for why Iâm here.
One day youâre going to realize that Iâm who you want to spend your life with and nothing and nobody can change that.
And yes, Iâm still going to be here when you do.
No, Iâm not going to be waiting for you.
Iâm going to live my life.
Iâm going to date who I want.
Iâm going to accomplish my dreams.
Nothing is going to stop for you.
Itâs just going to be a surreal feeling
When I tell you âI told you soâ
Thereâs no anger in that.
Im just glad you found you & you found me.
But you should have never abandoned my heart years ago.
Our âright nowâ.
Yes, Iâm still angry.
But I never gave up on the thought of you.
I never gave up on the thought of us.
You see...
Youâre my other.
Iâm your other.
Things were way too perfect for us not to be.
Our âright nowâ is too complicated for us to flourish.
Sometimes I think we were put in each otherâs lives for a reason.
Sometimes I think I was never supposed to message you that day.
But I did &
weâre here &
itâs complicated &
I canât take it.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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You know what it felt like?
It felt like you and me
It felt perfect
It felt indestructible
But who am I kiddingâŚ
Itâs about to be 2 months since I met you
Im not crazy. You feel something so real and you cling to it. Time doesnât exist.
I know Im a hopeless romantic and all that shit
And I know i feel like everyone is the ONE
But you ?
I felt you
I felt you
With you I could finally breathe.
With you all my chakras were at ease.
With you my heart felt safe.
And then you just tore yourself from me.
âŚhow couldnât you feel that?
How couldnât you feel me?
How can you deny a bond that was growing
How can you deny a connection this strong
Have you felt this before? Is that why itâs easy?
Because I never felt something like this
If you were somebody else this would have been easy
If you were somebody else this would have been easy
Itâs not fair
And now I feel like Iâm fighting for something that could never be or you could never want again.
Was there something I should have done? Was there something I should have said⌠to make you feel me the way I felt you?
My heart felt.
Finally my heart felt.
And im not talking about being in love
Or any of that mushy garbage.
I do miss writing about that mushy garbage but
Im talking about how it beats.
Itâs rhythm was so different this time last year.
Aching
Hurting
Tired
Drained
Numb....
But now itâs all...
Smiling whenever it wants to.
Itâs all obnoxiously happy about any and everything.
And i think people can see it too.
You look a little different when your hearts been aching
And you look a whole lot better when your heart is at ease
Itâs so chaotic when your heart is feeling every emotion at once
Itâs so liberating when your heart is finally at peace.
You move different, smile different.
Your heart beats different & feels different.
My heart felt
Finally my heart felt
At peace.
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN READING THIS FOR MONTHS NOW I GET IT
I DONT GET IT
^ lmao the pain was transferred to the father which was the mailman not the husband in the room. She was cheating đđ
Im so sick of drowning in emotions I can't control.
Monster
am I damaged? how damaged? am i hurt? how hurt? am I affected? how affected? the conversation i had tonight with a friend opened my eyes to things I wasnât seeing before. you know how everyone is bitter and hurt because of an ex? And you know how everyone is either consciously or subconsciously affected by it? and you know how this is the generation of the hurt & the âi dont wanna get hurtâ ? I just thought⌠I just thought i wouldnât be part of thâ IM NOT. But to what degree? What magnitude? What extent? Like, things ARE allowed to effect me right? As long as I learned something. As long as I found growth. As long as I found strength. As long as I am wiser. Itâs okay. But now i cant tell if Iâm being closed off. If Iâm shutting down; Do I have a wall up? Or is this me shifting my focus? Because of experience, Iâve seen it all. Iâve heard it all. Iâm not impressed by a lot a shit anymore. Im not surprised by a lot of shit anymore. People can say one thing and do another, But youâre not supposed to trust words anyway. People can say the right things at the right time. Doesnât mean itâs genuine. Might be what you want or need to hear. Doesnât mean it came from a real place. But I donât like thinking like this. I like to think that people have genuine souls. I like to think that people have a conscious. That people actually feel bad when they hurt someone. But honestly? In this world? Thereâs a lot of fucked up souls. Thereâs a lot of people walking around with a bad past they canât get rid of and they unknowingly project it onto others. They see theyâre doing wrong but canât stop. These same people sleep perfectly fine at night. But me? Iâm very connected with myself, my emotions and my thoughts. I donât allow situations or people control how i treat others. Iâm empathetic, sympathetic & I have a conscious. Because of this, itâs so hard to navigate in this world with people who let uncontrollable events control their moves. I know that people donât have the same heart as me and thatâs truly what keeps me up at night.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A distraction
Thatâs all you were. You were exactly what I needed at the time; A distraction. To get passed any pain i could have been feeling Yet not consciously aware of. Maybe if you werenât here, i could have slipped back into the clutches of my ex But you took my mind away from everything You were the taste You were the feeling Of freedom Maybe thatâs what i got obsessed with Maybe I didnât get obsessed with you, maybe i got obsessed with moving on Maybe i got obsessed with the idea of not being with him âŚ. maybe thatâs what did it. I think i was finally free of his spell And i became obsessed with my own freedom. My own power.
But idk what it was with you because i lost interest in everyone else so quick. Everyone who tried to talk to me it was a dub from the get because i deadass donât have the energy to entertain niggas. But with you it was different and idk why. My heart just chose you to distract me from the bullshit with my ex It always does that shit It always does that shit Its like a defense mechanism to make sure i move on for good But I hate that shit.
Only you can decide if weâll ever be a thing or not. As far as me? I need to shift my focus on other things & my soulmate will find me accordingly, whoever it is. I think Iâve come to a point in my life where having casual conversations with niggas is pointless and a waste of time especially if I already decided itâs a dub. Because of all the boys Iâve encountered, Iâve decided to be way more selective with who i give my time to & with you? I should have been selective. But then againâŚâŚâŚyou were just what I needed.
UNFINISHED POST!!**
soft hearted young girl smart & aware thereâs a name for people like you letâs keep this positive
you didnât really love him if you were able to get over him. you didnât really love him if youâre doing just fine without him. You didnât really love him if you could walk away You didnât really love him if you were able to stop fighting The famous one: You âquit when things got toughâ. Pause⌠Who the fuck comes up with this shit? No, deadass, who the fuck comes up with this bullshit? Relationships arenât easy but they damn sure donât have to be that damn problematic. If I choose to walk away from a toxic ass relationship how the FUCK does that invalidate anything Iâve ever felt? I canât choose happiness? I canât choose my sanity? I canât choose my smile over tears? Since WHEN? Show me receipts. Aint no point in mourning over a dead ass relationship. Fuck ima be sad for, bitch im free. I realized what was best for me emotionally and mentally and all of a sudden everything i felt wasnât real? Donât make me laughâŚâŚâŚ With you, Iâve cried more than i ever have with anyone else. With you, I did things for you I swore I would never stoop so low to do for any man. Actually⌠lemme not get carried away, for a boy. You heard my tears that day. You heard me begging you to stop. You heard me screaming "why are you doing this" & âwhy are you treating me like this.â My tears didnât phase you. The pain in my heart didnât phase you. The pain in my voice didnât phase you. I surpassed my breaking point & that caused an uproar that stopped everything. It stopped time It was quiet⌠What did you feel? Nothing. Honestly? You have to be one fucked up individual to listen to someone breaking down crying for mercy barely able to speak because theyâre struggling to catch their breath and in the midst of all this, you hung up. No sympathy, no remorse, no empathy, a psychopath. *Click* You called back and all you said was âI love youâ *Click* This was a sick game to you. Love? NIGGA IF THATâS LOVE, I DONT EVER WANT THAT SHIT.
How cant it be the right timing, when time isnât real?
the difference
He wants to take you out on dates He never texts back Notice the difference ? He messages you everyday He never hits you up Notice the difference? He lives hours away He lives minutes away Notice the difference? He holds conversations with you all day He only hits you up at night Notice the difference? He makes an effort He doesn't Notice the difference? Baby girl youre so blind Yet baby girl youre so smart You see the signs then ignore the signs Your heart is attracted to danger Your heart is attracted to fairytales Your heart is attracted to "could have been's" But why Why do you want to love things that don't want to love you back There's two types of boys in this world: One's you should pursue And one's you should run from.... But is it the thrill? You know why old people don't ride roller coasters? Because their body can't take it You know why you shouldn't love recklessly? Because your heart can't take it...
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
RIP đđ
Bitch
What the fuck is wrong with you You always do this shit Everytime.
Donât you get tired of this? This isnât exhausting to you? Its like you know the reality of everything But donât want to believe the reality of everything So you just go and make yourself lovestruck and love sick
BITCH STOP.
I know, i get it, for once wouldnât it be nice to go after someone you want and have shit reciprocated. Why do i always have to settle for the niggas that approach me What about who I want Donât i get a choice Or i just get stuck with the niggas who are interested in me
But why the fuck does that matter Am i interested in yall? Because thatâs the important question Am I trying to build with you? i dont have to want those things just because you shot your shot Wtf does that meanâŚ.
Just once , i wanna shoot for who i want & just once, i want it to work. Is that too much to ask?
That motherfucker you want clearly displayed that he doesnât really fuck with you like that so move the fuck on. You clearly see the difference between the niggas that want you and keep trying and the ones that arenât in your phone. Open your fucking eyes and take shit for what it is.
It hurts. I know. Had someone pop in your life and dip but you could have controlled the situation better that night. Itâs whatever now though. You shot your shot bitch We dont know whatâs going to happen this summer Final scores are still pending But wtf you need to do is get in your bag And get out your feelings Boss up Secure your fucking bag And slay like the fucking winner you are Pay attention And fuck those who tryna leave you in summer 2017 Keep your eye out shawty
You bring everything to the table so fuck who was never even invited
WE DONT LOVE THESE NIGGAS
it beats...that is all.
Why the hell are you so careless Why the hell are you so irresponsible Why the fuck do you behave so recklessly
Youâre so pure Youâre too innocent
How could you let this happen again? What am I saying; you were just doing your job. You were just doing your job. You were just doing your job. No, fuck that. I know you can't think but you can still make a choice. You can still make a choice to feel. You can still make a choice not to. What am I saying; you have a young spirit. You dont know no better...
