STIFLED
I’ve been feeling angry.
confused.
scared.
helpless.
Using my voice and my art hasn’t felt like enough.
Ive felt selfish.
And lonely in this selfishness.
I even feel selfish writing this.
Like my only real problem in this world is: am I doing enough?
What a privileged and first world problem I’ve conjured up
What shame I feel
A shame of silence that’s left echoes of guilt
My soul depleted.
My mouth parched, dry,
My heart yearning
To do SOMETHING
Through this shame, I’ve realized my purpose
That I am here to heal
Through love
Through music
Through my smile
Through my hugs
(I swear by my hugs, they’re life changing)
But In this climate, there’s no room for my love
No ears for my music
No transparency for my smile
And no space for my hugs
And so my purpose has felt stifled
And when I feel stifle, I do only what I know
I burry myself like the scorpion I am
and just stifle some more
But
There are real people hurting.
Dying..
Crying and marching
In need of support and encouragement
My support
My encouragement
And yet here I am
Still Stifling
So I ask myself:
“Self,
Will you continue to cower
Into your emotions ?
Or will you set them free, and embrace the unknown
Feel oneness with all
Instead of standing in solitude alone?”
