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going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)

do you think a dude ever had sex with another guy

these scriptures just have pictures of dudes kissing and groping each other

Penetration, my liege?

not now my dearest advisor i need to read these scriptures

Don't let anyone tell you there isn't time for another smoke break. They're lying. get out there and sit on an upside down milk crate. NOW!

Shut the fuck up Brug this post is for line cooks ONLY

the internet archive could murder me in cold blood if it benefited archival, also where can i buy some of that internet archive heroin?

the poll is missing.

listen,

I'm listening

do you hear it?

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This turtle is in hell and all you can think about is cum

hey sorry I caught your boyfriend. in a master ball yea. yeah its a nice ball isnt it? anyway I'll trade him back to your for a munchlax if you want

been listening to the knuckles raps from sa2 while pretending to not know the music is from a video game and i highly recommend the experience. really good from the perspective of a normal rapper who talks about ghosts trying to kill him and his ability to telepathically detect gemstones in the earth

i did this once while driving a classmate who knew nothing about sonic to college and she said in full seriousness ‘it’s so sad that he feels like he can’t depend on anyone but himself’

Why my parents so old and stupid fuck off

“Honor your father and your mother”

“Gargle my dick and balls”