Art Model: The Katz Pajamaz

“Will you dive deep enough into your courage to love me when I am a storm. Arriving without warning and destroying the fields. Will you be strong enough to move backwards to repair the damage, to stand in the debris of a thousand broken homes and say we will rebuild this with our actions, our words, our love making - we have all the tools we need. Will you be loyal enough, a martyr of the great kingdoms of strength - to hold me when I have become a flame which emerged from the mouth of rebellious angels who have fallen and live in the shadows of the soul. Will you hold me while I am burning through your skin, without realizing that my flesh has become painful to touch - will you embrace me regardless then? Will you wipe the tears that will burn through the seams of your hand - each tear pregnant with the hell of a thousand sad childhood memories. Each tear carrying in its belly unspeakable hurt. Will you honor me when I choose to become a Phoenix, when I go through the cycle of death and rebirth, so that I may rise into deeper ways of loving you. Will you watch me light myself on fire in the name of self awareness and renewal. Will you watch me burn and decay into withering bone and tell me I’m beautiful still, kiss me still, tuck yourself into my weak body still. We all have monsters, and sometimes I become one - will you then be wise enough to find the beauty in my chaos? ”-Rune Lazuli