Hello fellow compatriots! This is my first time ranting about something on a community (I'm a newbie) so pls be nice and it's about Lapidot! (Mostly about Lapis' character )I kept seeing some negative posts lately so I really want to share my understanding about the ship. Feel free to scroll if you don't like to read!! :) (Read before you judge) if you really want to understand Lapis and Lapidot as a whole, then feel free to read!
LONG RANT AHEAD!! CHOO-CHOO!!🚂:
Lapidot is a very special ship to me like how they are to you guys and I've seen some people hating on it or preferring Amedot over it but that's okay! because I just really wanna share my insights so don't hate me for sharing on how I view Lapidot.
Anyways, Lapidot has always been an interesting dynamic to me. A Lapis who's so complex and probably has C-PTSD ,paired up with a Peridot who has always been headcanonned as Aromantic/Asexual and a very fantastic representative of an autistic person. At the start, their relationship is a mess with Peridot being a former captor to Lapis and Lapis being a former captive to Peridot. Steven introducing them to eachother was a really hard one since Lapis had trust issues with Peridot, now with Lapis breaking her tape recorder..some people didn't take it really well since that was Peridot's gift for her and it was special to her yet the very person to whom she's trying to get along with, broke it. I really understand Lapis' perspective because Peridot was the one who dragged her back to Earth along with Jasper. Then Malachite happened and so on. I kept hearing people saying that Lapis is an abuser that doesn't give two shits about Peridot. To be honest—her trauma isn't an excuse for her asshole of a behavior and people are right.
Just because you've went through something horrible, it doesn't give you an excuse to be horrible to others. You gotta understand and control yourself and get help from others. Your trauma can never be an excuse but it can be a reason for your behavior. If there's a reason, then they will understand but what they will never understand is how they get to be treated so horribly without having to deserve it.
Lapis did some more horrible things too like leaving Peridot and Pumpkin, taking the barn with her, had to make Peridot feel like she's walking eggshells around her, dismissed her emotions when Peridot finally COMMUNICATED about how she felt towards the situation they were in then straight up abandoned her. I didn't like it when Lapis did that, I didn't like how she treated Peridot, I didn't like how she dismissed everything Peridot did for her once things didn't go well. That's where Amedot gets the recognition for being a more healthier relationship for Peridot. With them communicating properly, working things out when things don't go well, etc. I can see why some people prefer Amedot over Lapidot. As a Lapidot shipper, I really respect how Amedot gets to be healthier yet that doesn't make me resent Lapidot. No, I don't hate Amedot, I actually admire it since it has the things that Lapidot lacked like communication.
But the real reason why I really love Lapidot is because of how complex Lapis and Peridot are and how they handle eachother . Don't get me wrong, all the SU characters are complex and interesting as well! For me, Lapis and Peridot just stands out the most.
I don't want to villainize Lapis, I never wanted to. I am only pointing out her horrible actions that has been done to Peridot. But this rant isn't about negative things about Lapidot, it isn't about the comparison of Amedot vs Lapidot, no. I am here to understand how their relationship stands out from the rest, IN MY POV. I don't hate Lapis, infact, she's one of my favorites ! Sure she has done horrible things yet it doesn't make me stop liking her character. I really love Lapis as a whole, I love how she represents the people who has gone through traumatic things that has been yet to be healed. I am not really just talking about Lapis, I am also talking about people with disorders, or with complicated personalities.
Lapis deserves to be understood, as the same level with Peridot. But I can't stand how people kept siding on Peridot, on how they kept babying Peridot, on how they kept making Lapis look like she's the antagonist. Peridot isn't the only one who's having a hard time communicating, it's also Lapis who's having a hard time communicating. (Remember, communication plays a very important role for a healthy relationship.)
Lapis' trauma got in the way of communicating so instead of communicating how she felt towards Peridot, she let out her emotions against her. I don't blame her for that because trauma is a very complicated thing to experience. It's really hard balancing your emotions when your trauma gets in the way. But I didn't like how people kept saying that Lapis is an abuser, a horrible character, etc. I respect people that dislike/hate her but I just don't like it when they say that she doesn't even deserve to be treated well because of her actions in the episode 'Raising the Barn'. We lacked episodes between Lapis and Peridot's resolution due to the rushed Season 5 but that's okay because I'm not here to talk about that.
Here's what: Lapis DOES care about Peridot. Just not in a simple way that people expected. Caring for someone can be shown in different ways, even in complex ways. It's possible. From trying to help Peridot impress their "guests", to harvesting a garden. "But that's all people care about Lapidot, their appearances! What about their unhealthy-" shhh, I already addressed that and I acknowledged how unhealthy they were at the beginning and at the time when Steven gave himself in to Aquamarine for the Diamonds. I know. But there's not only unhealthy moments there, there's also happy moments like how Peridot and Lapis danced together, how they watched CPH together. It really shows how they developed a bond with eachother off screen. I was very surprised how Lapis really got close to Peridot once she softened up to her. (Lapis reciprocating her gestures that she did not know about back then (high-fiving) Peridot got to see a side of Lapis that Steven has only seen. To sharing an inside joke with Peridot that no one understood, to raising a pumpkin named Pumpkin together.) And when Lapis left, we've never seen Peridot in a state that's so emotional before. She went through a depressive state when Lapis left and Lapis started missing Peridot, expressing her regrets and fears to Steven. She does care for Peridot. She just didn't know how to show it properly because of how her fears had affected her.
I love how Peridot looks out for Lapis' triggers whenever someone mentions Jasper. I love how Peridot is so gentle with Lapis and checks up on her if she's okay. I love how Lapis was actually being open in letting the Crystal Gems in because of Peridot. I love how Lapis slowly softened up to Peridot. Peridot really taught Lapis to be open, to trust. That she's safe and secure in the barn, that there's no threats and danger. The reason why Peridot was so bad at communicating her feelings to Lapis was because of how Lapis tends to get scared when threat arises. She tends to freak out and panic, heck Peridot even has to literally bend over backwards to cheer up Lapis. I understand how Peridot is so scared of the thought of losing Lapis, she just didn't expect how it would actually come true. Lapis kept running away from her problems because she's afraid of being trapped again, that feeling where you'll never escape the situation that gave you bad memories. She thought running away was the answer yet she didn't think it through that running away will only meant pushing away the people that she cares about and end up isolating herself. "Oh but Lapis not only isolated herself but also Peridot too! Peridot had to change how she acted around Lapis so that she wouldn't leave!" You're absolutely right, but Lapis didn't know that she was making Peridot feel that way until when she left and reflected on the moon with Steven.
"I can't be like you and your friends Steven! I can't let go of what just happened to me! I can't go through that again."
That's what makes Lapis react so violently when threat arises. Her trauma (The mirror, being imprisoned, Malachite) has affected her way of thinking that she ended up projecting it in her way of life. When there's a problem, she runs and runs and runs until it disappears because she can't handle another thousands of years of going through the same horrible experience everyday. She also can't stand of hurting someone again because of her nature, especially Steven. And..I really admire Peridot for understanding her because it takes so much time in understanding a person who has gone through a horrible, horrible thing. The patience of waiting for someone to open up to you is just so beautiful to hear, knowing that someone is there, willing to stay with you no matter what.
When Lapis came back, of course all we had was a "hey" and people expect Lapis to apologize to Peridot, but the situation they were in (Fighting Blue Diamond) was not a good timing so I wouldn't blame Lapis for that. I know we could've had an episode of Lapis and Peridot's resolution and we feel so empty without it but it was up to the writers' choices and they were being pressured into ending the show immediately because of the homosexual restrictions so I understand why we didn't get one. But I'm sure that somewhere when Steven was in Homeworld, I know Peridot and Lapis had a talk. That's why they are in good terms now. It isn't "magically on good terms" or "random". It just happened off screen. Because if it didn't happen, then Lapis and Peridot wouldn't be even close in the future by now.
Lapis is just a really really complex character. When you're complex, people tend to assume the way you behave and your actions without having to try and understand what you went through. In conclusion, I really love Lapidot because it taught me so much about no matter how complex you are, you are still capable of being understood, to be healed, to heal and love again just like Spinel! To be happy, and to be safe. When you feel broken, you can't really fix yourself but here's what you can do, you can improve. Just like how Lapis improved into becoming a better person with Peridot and the others. Noticed how Lapis wasn't the same person as before in Same Old World compared to Why So Blue? She has grown so much and matured because the right people were there to teach her to become better than her past. Even if she still thinks that she's the same monster who had hurt gems and people, especially forming Malachite and leaving Peridot, she isn't always going to be that monster who she thinks she is because look at her in the future! She's a lot better now! And that's what Steven Universe is about: It's all about CHANGING. We all change and grow and you can't heal without hurting first.
Lapis and Peridot's relationship has changed so much throughout the show even when off screen. They simply just love eachother without any labels, romantic, platonic, I don't care, it depends on the way you see it. But still, they simply love eachother in a way you just don't quite understand yet. They just really had to communicate properly with eachother and that's okay, it's all about understanding and growing right? Right now, your perspective might've changed about Lapidot or not, I don't care because I'm just here to remind you that even the most complex person on Earth can be understood by a soul who's willing to learn about them. And even with the deepest wounds you experienced, can heal. Just take your time because healing isn't linear, it's messy and complicated but it's worth it. So please, everytime you see a complex character, don't judge, just understand. Trust me, once you take your time to understand a person/character who's trying so hard to be understood just because they're considered complex, you'll see a side of them that no one has ever known. There's no bad or good, it just depends on the actions we do. And it's okay if some people still hate it or prefer Amedot over it, I'm just here to make you guys understand the dynamic and I am really glad that a dynamic like Lapidot exists because it makes me understand more about complex relationships. I'll truly forever cherish Lapidot in my heart.
Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it. I really hope you learned something about Lapidot and Lapis herself! Again, may you have a great day! Go ahead and take care!
