Untitled

A simple little bit extra after one of my favourite scenes ...

always a huge heart felt thanks to the wonderful @the-real-tc

“So will you just, Stay ?”

Who would have thought that after all this time such simples words could turn ones life upside down ?

All the heartache, the uncertainty, the what if’s, all the sleepless nights ;everything seemed so unimportant at that very moment.

Lisa knew Jack was sorry, she now understood a little more about why he had behaved the way he had.....

He was afraid that she would spend her life caring for him in his old age { a life he would never have for the woman he loved so dearly } he was an old man, Lisa knew that. She knew exactly how old he was when she first met him ~ when she fell in love with him.

But Lisa was now looking at their relationship through Jacks eyes, she hadn’t truly understood until now that he still loved her, in-fact he had never stopped loving her...Jack loved Lisa so much that he was willing to let her go and enjoy a fulfilled life { not a life of looking after him} and he was prepared to live out the rest of his life with a piece of his heart missing.

Jack’s voice was raspy with emotion as he stood and bared his soul to the woman he loved.

He had gone over and over in his mind what he would say to Lisa, so many times he had come close, so many other times he had just dismissed it altogether ~ she deserved a better life, a life this old cowboy couldn’t give her!

But now he knew that this was his last chance, that he would loose Lisa forever if he didn’t tell her how he felt.

He had attempted fiercely to ignore the pain in his heart, but it wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he tried; she was everywhere he turned, there wasn’t a day that went by that Lisa wasn’t in Jack’s thoughts, even when he slept she would come to him in his dreams.

And NOW!!! Well now Lisa knew how much Jack loved her, how much he desperately wanted to protect her from a life of taking care of him; how much he wanted to fit his life in with hers and most importantly Lisa now knew just how much Jack Loved her.

Lisa’s piercing blue eyes hadn’t left Jack’s the moment he snatched her phone from her, ending the call to the realestate...

She had heard every word he said, the emotion in his voice, his dark grey eyes glistening with moisture.

Lisa couldn’t quite believe what she had witnessed, she had waited so long to hear Jack say the words “I still love you Lisa” ~ she herself had never stopped loving him, after all this time her heart belonged to only him and now she knew he felt the same.

Lisa couldn’t bring herself to breath, perhaps it was a dream { so many nights she had dreamed her cowboy would come to her and heal her broken heart } so many times she had written emails only to never press send, had picked up the phone and dialled his number only to hang up before it rang....

It was only Jack’s strong calloused hands gently resting on Lisa’s shoulders that awoke her from her day dream ~

Jack could see the tears forming in those beautiful blue eyes he had fallen in love with all those years ago...

“Lise” his voice was gentle and kind

Lisa looked up and smiled, tears staining her soft cheeks ; before she could say anything Jack cupped her face in his strong calloused hands

{Lisa closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and smiled as the familiar feeling of Jack’s hands on her face filled her with a warmth she had recently only longed for }

As she opened her eyes again, Lisa touched his face gently , the familiar feeling of his unshaven cheeks and rough moustache were her undoing , she couldn’t control the tears that fell as she leaned into his chest, his heart beating strongly as she breathed in his familiar scent.

Jack had been out of sorts for as long as they could remember and everyone at Heartland knew why. Even though he never spoke about his private life it was obvious that he missed Lisa, that her leaving was what had caused his constant state of melancholy.

Amy in particular worried about her grandpa.

She knew him better than most, and she knew that his heart was broken.

There wasn’t a single day that went buy that Jack didn’t think of Lisa.

But he was stubborn, and he was set in his ways, but more importantly he was willing to live the rest of his life with a broken heart if it meant Lisa was saved from a life of taking care of him.

The once warm water that ran over Lisa’s face has gone cold, she had been standing in the shower for almost half an hour. She was shell shocked.

Unable to comprehend the news she had just been given.

A routine yearly check up at her doctor had completely turned her life up side down.

Surely her doctor had been mistaken?

How on earth could what the doctor have told her be true?

A lifetime of wanting something, only to learn to live with it being an impossibility. Why now after all these years, after being told it was impossible...How did this happen?!

She had cried all the tears possible for one afternoon as she turned off the taps and stepped out on to the bath mat, not daring to take a glance in the large bathroom mirror.

Flicking back through her diary, tear stained checks, she stopped and took a deep breath. It was true { a smile came across Lisa’s face as she remembered }her doctor had been correct, almost to the exact day ~

As the memories of that mild autumn night came flooding back,Jacks rough hands on her soft skin ~

Lisa knew there was only one thing she needed to do. Only one place she needed to be ; no matter what the outcome. She had to go back to Hudson, back to Heartland and most importantly back to Jack.

The cold night air had set in as Jack rode ‘Paint’ across the field and Heartland came into sight. He had ridden out to check some young heifers earlier in the afternoon and to read and re read the letter that had arrived earlier in the week from Lisa.

The strain of the past months had taken its toll on Jack, he had tried to hide it the best he could, however at Heartland there was little privacy and he knew they all could see through him. He knew Lou had mentioned the letter that had arrived for him from France in the post, he could sense her hesitation when she had handed it over with the pile of other letters.

It was freezing and Jack was numb; had he perhaps made the biggest mistake of his life?

He was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt for not contacting Lisa sooner, he had tried to make himself believe that she would have moved on; so that he could move on ~ be content to live his life out at Heartland surrounded by this family.

Part of him had thought that perhaps Lisa would have found someone else...but deep down Jack knew he was only fooling one person ~Himself.

He loved Lisa ~ more than any other man could and deep down he knew she loved him!

The sadness in her eyes as she said good bye and the many times Lisa had been disappointed or hurt because of his stubbornness were too much for Jack to bare. As the wind howled, Jack grabbed at his chest, a shooting pain taking his breath away; his world going black as the vision of Lisa faded into the dark Alberta sky.

Lisa’s flight was booked, she had two clients to meet with before she flew out and one doctors appointment.

She had gone over the scenario in her mind a hundred times yet still she was apprehensive.

She knew that there was a side to Jack that only she saw; he was gentle, sensitive and kind ~ he had insecurities just as she did but he was old fashioned. He kept his feelings close to his chest and he rarely showed any public display of affection; however Jack Bartlett as old and as stubborn as he was had loved Lisa in a way that she couldn’t explain.

He had worn his heart on his sleeve, had endured more tragedies in his life ,yet in Lisa had found someone who had healed his wounds and had encouraged him to love again.

She sighed ~ so why were they apart? why couldn’t they have worked it out? and why did she always insist on pushing things on him like she had ?!

( 10 days later )

The week that followed Jacks heart attack had been rough.

The thought of the possibility of loosing Jack had been extremely difficult for everyone; Amy and Lou in particular. Tim had been a tower of strength, remaining as positive as he could keeping his own feelings private.

Tim had found Lisas letter tucked away inside Jacks winter coat after he was taken by ambulance.

Tim knew Jack had been suffering,

he himself was sad when they had broken up. Tim adored Lisa, she brought out a side a side of Jack he had never seen before. A side of Jack he had come to love and admire.

Lisa loved Jack in a way that many men only dreamed of.

Initially Tim had thrown Lisa’s letter into the glove box of his truck. It was Private. He had told himself it wouldn’t be right to read it.....

But it had got the better of Tim, he just had to know what was in that letter ; he hoped it could help him understand what Jack wouldn’t openly discuss , however ...

~ what if she had moved on and reading that letter was what broke Jacks heart for good?

‘Excuse me Mrs Stillman’

A bright eyed air hostess quietly woke Lisa upon their arrival into Calgary airport.

‘I’m sorry to wake you, but we have landed safely and it’s time to depart’ she smiled knowingly as her eyes glanced over Lisa’s slightly swollen abdomen.

Lisa knew what the young hostess was thinking but she dare not admit it, for it was still to new and to raw for Lisa.

She had made the decision from the moment she had received the news that she would tell no one, not until she had been able to speak with Jack.

She would go straight to Fairfield, meet briefly with Harry then head directly across to Heartland.

Lisa’s heat was pounding and she was a bundle of nerves. But she needed to do this, Jack had a right to know.

Tim sat quietly in the barn, as he read Lisa’s letter to Jack, he prayed that his ex father in law would see what Lisa was trying to say and would tell her exactly how he felt.

~ ‘I miss you, is there any way we can bridge this gap between us’ ~

As Lisa turned into the gates of Fairfield she saw Harry waiting for her as she pulled up out the front the homestead. Immediately she noticed his facial expression and her initial thought is ‘Cinders’.

What Lisa hears next leaves her speechless.

So many things are running through her mind, she cannot comprehend quite what Harry is telling her ; all she hears is Jack. Heart attack. Alive.

Harry could see how distressed she is, but he knows that he had to tell her, it’s not information he wanted Lisa to hear from anyone else.

‘He is alive Lisa’

Harry leads her across to the courtyard and gets her a glass of water.

‘Tim found him in the field with Paint standing by his side ‘ she smiles to herself at the comradeship Jack shared with his old faithful friend.

‘He is home now, spent 3 weeks in hospital, but he is home’ Harry’s Hand rests gently on Lisa’s shoulder.

A man in his late 60s , Harry O’Connor had worked for Lisa and her family for almost 42 years...and although a man of very few words Harry knew how much Jack meant to Lisa, how much she still loved him.

He was glad she had come home, and he hoped that this would be the way in which Jack Bartlett and Lisa Stillman would find their way back to one another; where they belonged.

Lisa { being Lisa } threw herself into “care mode” thinking of all the things Jack might need for his recovery at home, even going as far as to organise a new bed for him.

Harry informed Lisa that he had taken it upon himself to organise Amy to work with Cinders, this was something Lisa was glad of ; she herself didn’t want to see either of the girls { or anyone for that matter } until she had seen Jack.

She knew Harry had taken notice of her appearance the moment she stepped out her SUV, she hoped he put it down to “jet lag “ and her love of French food;

either way she knew she had to go and see Jack ; and sooner rather than later.

‘ I don’t need you to be my nurse ‘

Jack looked so tired as he glared at her across the room.

{ Lisa knew that instant the bed was a really bad idea }

‘Take it back’

His tone was harsh...

‘ I just want to help you Jack’ it was almost a whisper

Inside Lisa desperately wanted to tell him but she couldn’t possibly do it now, not when he was making it perfectly clear he didn’t want her in his life.

‘ okay, then I’ll just go’ she looked at him with pleading eyes, she knew he was afraid, but why couldn’t he see it was her;

The woman who truely loved him.

~ Lisa had deliberately worn her work coat into Heartland so Jack wouldn’t notice her more fuller figure ~

As the tears began to well in her eyes, she felt their unborn child move. She had felt this many times in the past weeks, but today was different ~ Desperately she wanted to scream ‘ Jack! We’re going to have a baby!!!!’

but the words just wouldn’t come.

Before Lisa could do anything else Jack had turned his back and closed his bedroom door behind him.

As Lisa went to leave she heard something break ; she knew this wasn’t what Jack really wanted. He was angry. But once again he had allowed his pride to break her heart.

( 2 weeks later )

Lisa would not mention anything about her visit to Heartland no matter how much it ate her up inside.

She instructed Harry to take Cinders across to Heartland where he was to remain whilst Amy worked with him, nothing was to be done at Fairfield.

Lisa wanted to see no one whilst she was here.

On three occasions Amy spoke with Lisa via phone , but those conversations were kept short and work related no matter how hard Amy tried otherwise.

Amy knew Lisa had been to Heartland to see Jack, she had seen her drive in and sadly watched her breakdown in tears as she drove out soon after.

Jack had been at times impossible to live with after he and Lisa broke up ~ and now after everything she had come home to see him, to offer help care for him and he...he had obviously been his pig headed stubborn old self.

‘Grandpa’ Amy spoke softly as she found Jack resting on the old leather sofa

‘Mmmm’ was his reply

Amy knew she had to tread carefully, she also knew she couldn’t stand to see him this miserable any longer!

‘Grandpa, You don’t have to say anything, I just ask you to listen’ ~

she came and stood by the fire place, Jack lifting his head, looking up at her with his dark, tired eyes.

~

‘I know you love Lisa’ his eyes widened at the mention of Lisa’s name

Amy put her hand up

‘Just hear me out’ she continued

‘I know you love Lisa, we all know you do. But I also know why your pushing her away...

She continued before Jack could get a word in

‘It’s ok to be afraid Grandpa : I’ve watched you let one thing concern you, almost since the day you met Lisa and I just don’t know why it worries you so much, especially when it’s never worried her!’

Amy’s tone had changed from soft to slightly more stern

‘We all know how old you are grandpa, we know you have grandkids and great grandkids ; but what we also know is that age is a number and your age is not what defines you, it’s not something that Lisa even cares about....your the only one she loves !!!!

Amy bent down in front of her grandpa and held his big old hardworking hands in her own.

‘Please don’t let her go again grandpa. Lisa loves you. And you love her too ; and that’s all that matters’ ~

and with that Amy kissed Jack gently on the cheek and headed out the door.

As the weeks went by there wasn’t a moment of the day that Jack didn’t think of Lisa.

He had worked hard with his rehabilitation program , impressing Dr Verani with his ongoing recovery.

She herself was suprised at just how quickly Jack had bounced back from such a major episode.

Lou had been to see Dr. Verani, concerned that her grandpa was pushing himself and taking things too fast. She to also knew that there was something a miss with him; the difference was Lou was to caught up in her own life to actually see what it was that was causing Jacks heartache.

Dr Tricia Verani assured Lou and them all that although ‘old in numbers’ Jack Bartlett was very much a fit, virile man.

The words ‘I don’t need you to be my nurse’ kept racing through Lisa’s mind ~

...she didn’t want to be Jacks nurse! She just wanted to be with him!!

Harry had been keeping a close eye on Lisa since she had been to see Jack at Heartland.

She hadn’t mentioned it and he dare not bring it up ~ all the same Harry O’Connor knew that something wasn’t right and he had taken it upon himself to keep close watch on his { as it seemed } rather fragile Boss.

Her obstetrician in Calgary had advised Lisa soon after her visit to Heartland that her blood pressure was elevated and it would be wise not to travel given her condition and her age for the time being.

Lisa was at a loss. Regardless of her relationship with Jack he had the right to know what was going on , she so desperately wanted to tell him, she desperately wanted him to hold her in his arms and tell her that every would be just fine ~ she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

‘Jack!’ Tim popped his head through the front door

‘Jack! Are you in here?! ‘ he bellowed once again

As he took off his boots, hung his jacket on the hook and headed in to pour himself a cup of coffee Tim noticed out of the corner of his eye a notepad and pen at Jacks open desk.

As always curiosity got then better of Tim and just before Jack could catch him he caught a glimpse of what he had so desperately hoped for ~

Dear Lise,

I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry I was such an old fool. I miss you too....

Tim hid his grin as he took a gulp of coffee. Jack missed Lisa. He knew it!

The old boy could fool no one he thought to himself.

‘I’m off to Calgary this morning’ Tim put his cup into the kitchen sink as he headed out the door.

‘I’m grabbing some supplies for Casey, call if you need anything’ and he was out the door and gone.

Jack breathed a sigh of relief, as much as he was great full to Tim for indeed saving his life, since his heart attack Jack had found Tim to be a little ‘over protective’ ~ often calling him multiple times a day and popping in to just to have a cup of coffee with him at least twice daily.

Jack heaved himself up from the kitchen table, he had important business to attend to as he headed back over to his Open desk.

Lisa had a 9am appointment with her Obstetrician in Calgary. She had left Fairfield early so she missed the morning traffic. As she made her way up to the administration desk she hoped todays results would at least give her the option to travel. She really didn’t particularly want to go back to France but given her circumstances she at least wanted the option.

Dr. Lucy. Hammond had been a wonderful support to Lisa since she had returned to Hudson. She was kind and compassionate and had encouraged Lisa to express how she felt and never judged or offered hasty advice.

Dr. Hammond was young, she was newly married and Lisa was taken a back at the genuine excitement she showed Lisa at this exciting time in her life.

Once Dr. Hammond had thoroughly checked Lisa she came and sat beside her.

‘Well Lisa I’m happy to say that your blood pressure has come back to normal and all of your regular tests are looking great she smiled broadly

‘I will add though that you are getting closer to the time when you need to stay put ~ where travel will be completely out of the question’ she turned to face Lisa front on

‘I know this is really difficult for you Lisa, but the time has come where you need to make your decision...do you stay or do you return to France for delivery’ ~ her voice was gentle and full of concern

‘I cannot tell you what to do Lisa, but I know how you feel about your situation and I know how important speaking to Jack is, so my only advice would be...go and see him, then you can make your final decision’ ~ Lisa was in a day dream as she felt Dr. Hammonds hand leave hers.

As he pulled out from Lammle’s Tim thought he was seeing things.

He slowly pulled up just past Calgary private woman’s hospital and watched in his rear view mirror.

Lisa stepped out on the street and decided to take a walk to the park. She couldn’t face the drive back to Fairfield or Harry’s well meaning ‘fussing’.

Tim had been watching and was lost for words.

Lisa was pregnant!!!

Jack was going to be a father...again ~ tim smiled broadly to himself at the thought.

He jumped out of his truck and followed Lisa to the park.

He found her sitting alone, on a park bench staring up into the trees.

‘Hey Lisa’

Tim sat down next to her before she had time to register or cover her bump.

As they sat together in silence the tears that had been burning at the back of Lisas eyes suddenly broke through.

‘I’m so happy for you’ Tim Hugged Lisa gently as he walked her back to car.

She laughed at him as he opened the door and helped her in.

‘I’m not an invalid tim’ she smiled as she watched him fuss.

‘I know , I know...but Jack would kill me if I let anything happen to you’ he winked as he closed the door gently.

Lisa wound the window down, her brow crinkled with concern.

‘Everything will be ok Lisa’ Tim’s tone was sincere and sure.

‘I’ll follow you back to Heartland okay?

Lisa nodded as she drove away.

It was quite possibly the longest trip back to Hudson Lisa had ever driven.

She was now 32 weeks so there was no hiding her condition.

A part of her was nervous and frightened. What if Jack was angry she hadn’t told him. She had wanted to, desperately she had; but his harsh words had kept her silent.

As Lisa drove into Heartland she felt a sense of relief. She knew Tim wouldn’t be far away, he had been so kind and understanding when she told him her news. The excitement she saw in his eyes when she told him about the baby made her feel calm, he too had also opened up, his concerns for Jack, his health scare & his impossible moods.

Tim explained to Lisa how everyone knew what was the wrong with him, he just wouldn’t admit it.

‘He loves you Lise, more than you’ll ever know’ Tim stated matter afactly.

‘He’s just so damn pig headed and so hell bent on worrying about your age difference it’s marred how he actually feels’ ....

‘But he loves ya, no doubt about it. I don’t think he’s ever really stopped ~

To hear that meant the world to Lisa,

These past months holding onto this precious secret had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do, she hated the thought of keeping something like this from Jack ; but as Tim had stated

‘The timing doesn’t matter Lise, your here now and that’s what matters most’.

Jack came out on to the porch as he heard a vehicle coming.

He had never expected to see Lisa’s car, his heart skipped a beat as he saw her pull up.

But nothing in his life could have filled Jacks heart with more love than what he saw as Lisa closed her car door and came around towards the path.

She was glowing, and it was obvious as to why.

Lisa didn’t have to say a word, Jack knew instantly.

As she met him half way his large calloused hands reached out and held her face gently.

‘I’m so sorry Lise, so so sorry’ his deep voice barely audible

‘It’s okay Jack’ Lisa sobbed

‘I’m sorry too, sorry I kept this from you for so long’ she looked down at her perfectly rounded stomach.

There were no more words spoken in that moment.

Lisa took Jacks hands and placed them over her abdomen. She had never imagined in her life that she would experience such a moment, let alone with the love she had for such a man.

Jacks tear stained face leant down and he kissed Lisa soundly.

Both of them knew they had so much to discuss, so much to catch up on and only weeks before they welcomed a new life to Heartland.

Jack looked across as he saw Tim tip his hat and head down the drive and out of Heartland.

But all of that could wait, tomorrow would be here soon enough.

All Jack wanted right now was to hold Lisa in his arms.

He missed many things in the time he and Lisa were apart, he smile, her laughter and those piercing blue eyes...but most of all, above anything else Jack missed holding Lisa in his arms.

‘Is it ok if I stay with you tonight ?’ Lisa’s voice was nothing more than a whisper

‘I wouldn’t have it any other way’ Jacks words muffled as he kissed Lisa softly.

~

As Jack padded through the house turning down the lights as he went, he never let go of Lisa’s hand.

They reached the door of Jacks room and Lisa stopped, she turned and smiled softly .

His scent filled her lungs as she walked through the door.

A feeling of euphoria came over Lisa as she glanced around the large room familiarising herself once again .

There was so much each other needed to say; explanations, apologies and talk of their future.

They both knew it was a long road ahead and that their lives would never be the same again, but right at that very moment neither minded.

Jack had never imagined this for his life; that he and Lisa would find a way back together and most importantly that Lisa would give him one of life’s greatest gifts...their child.

Their love that both of them had questioned on so many occasions had bore this child.

Neither had ever stopped loving the other. And it was because of this Love , that no matter what life threw at them they would always be together .

DECISIONS ~

Part 1

Jack picked up his coffee, grabbed his jacket off the hook and headed out onto the verandah. The night air was crisp but the sky was a blaze with stars.

It had been 6 long weeks since their picnic in the field, since Jack had looked into those piercing blue eyes.

She was ‘something else’ he smile to himself. And god she was beautiful.

But it was also 4 excruciating weeks since Lisa had driven out of Heartland and waved goodbye...

It was the right thing Jack tried to keep telling himself.

It would never...it could never work between them and he was a fool all these years to think otherwise.

He was and old man, old enough in-fact to be Lisa’s father. He was a grandfather for goodness sake!

He was an old cowboy and she...well she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, with a smile that would light up any room; she was vibrant and hardworking and....and she loved him.

Jack sighed

So what was it that was stopping him from contacting her. Why was this so damn hard?!

He rubbed his calloused hands over his weary face as he stared into the star lit sky.

As much as Jack knew he loved Lisa, perhaps more than he had ever loved any woman, he couldn’t help but have his doubts....

Not doubts about the way he felt; he had never doubted how much he loved her, that he knew for certain.

But they were there, just enough for Jack to dig his heels in no matter how much it broke his heart.

He couldn’t bare the thought of one day being a burden on Lisa, her having to ‘care for him’ in his old age.

Jack just wouldn’t have it.

She was so much younger than him and had so much to still accomplish in her life. He didn’t want to deny her of anything and it would be selfish of him to do so.

As hard as it was ~Jack stood up from the kitchen table and turned down the lights and he headed to bed ~

this was the right decision...it was made and it wasn’t open for discussion!!

(8 weeks later )

The early rays of the European morning sun warmed Lisa’s back as she scanned through her emails.

She sighed as she closed her laptop and took a sip of her camomile tea.

Nothing. Not one thing. No contact what so ever. It was unbearable and it was driving her crazy.

A thousand times in the past 3 months Lisa has picked up the phone and gone to Call Jack. And a thousand times she hadn’t made that call.

Her heart had been torn apart. Her heart was broken.

She had made herself sick with worry. She had lost weight and so many of her old insecurities had begun to creep in. Lisa has made the decision to move to France full time, she couldn’t bare the thought of running into Amy, Lou or Tim let alone even the thought of having to see Jack, it would break her heart all over again;

So she had handed the reins over to her manager Harry O’Connor whom she liaised with on daily basis, but had basically left with the general running of Fairfield.

She had been gone now for over 3 months; so why was it still so difficult?!

The day had begun like most days for Lisa; up early for her morning walk; check emails, breakfast and then into work meetings etc

Lisa’s phone rang, it was her doctors office calling.

As Lisa took the call an urgent email came through from Harry.

He was very concerned about one of Lisa’s top Thoroughbreds ‘Cinders’...

He was one of her prized stallions and was to be sold the following month to a new client of Fairfield’s {one Lisa had been working on securing for sometime }; however that morning he had been spooked and was impossible to handle.

Lisa knew there was only one person she could call on in a situation like this, but any thought of Amy, of Heartland and of Jack almost always reduced Lisa to tears.

After pondering over what she should do in between confirming her doctors appointment for that afternoon, Lisa had made a decision; this deal with Cinders was Just too important to risk.

She hadn’t been back to Fairfield in just over 3 months and she needed to check on a few other things with Harry so she booked her flights.

She would leave at the end of the week, stay at Fairfield for 5 days and then fly back. She would tell Harry and no one else.

Lisa had finally sought the courage in those past weeks to write to Jack ~ she had told him how she felt and had asked him could they mend that bridge between them.

~Nothing

~Not a single word...

Why are you shutting me out Jack?! She whispered to no one

A wave of nausea came over Lisa. She took a sip of her tea and thought to herself ;

‘Pull yourself together Lisa...it’s been months now...months! Face is Lisa, it’s over!’

Another little one shot capturing the in betweens of ‘Dancing in the dark’. As always special thanks to @the-real-tc for your encouragement.

It was what Jack had wanted so desperately to say for months, but wasn’t sure quite how.

The word he had only heard Lisa say to him in his dreams.

“It’s just what I do with someone, I love”.

Love. She had said it. Love.

[[MORE]]

He hadn’t realised just how powerful that word was, just how much hearing Lisa say it meant to him.

Sure Jack knew he loved Lisa, hell he had almost fallen in love with her the moment he saw her; but to hear it was like something else ~ it made jack week at the knees, he was completely lost for words.

“Someone you...” he asked hesitantly

Lisa replied calmly, knowing Jack better than he could have ever anticipated

“Well your never going to say it...”

She was right, but not because he didn’t want to, or because he didn’t love her.

No. Jack was frightened, in fact he was petrified.

He had only ever loved one woman in his life and he never, even in his wildest dreams could Jack have imagined falling in love again; and more so that someone like Lisa would fall in love with him.

She was young {much younger than Jack}, she was sophisticated, well traveled and quite possibly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He had asked himself on numerous occasions what someone like Lisa would see in a old, beaten up cowboy; who was a grandfather for heavens sake.

But that was just it: She did !

They had gravitated towards one another, and although their differences were many, that was not enough to deter them from coming together and indeed falling in love.

As Jack pulled Lisa in close he swept her across the grassy area that was the somewhat camp site dance floor.

Music played in the back ground; others on the cattle drive were milling around, some dancing, some talking; but all Jack could focus on was Lisa. He could feel her heart beating against his, so powerful through his warm jacket.

One hand resting in his, the other holding tightly onto his shoulder. He could smell her scent and could feel the warmth of her body as his strong hand sat in the small of her back, holding her neat against him.

There were aspects of his relationship with Lisa that concerned Jack, but there were two which tonight merged together and had all of a sudden now become somewhat a reality.

Jack Bartlett was many things, he was a good man, many would say one of the best men they had the privilege of knowing.

He was a great rancher, tough as they made them, but equally as gentle when it came to his family.

He was stubborn and hard working, fit for his age and when competing on the rodeo circuit; the one to beat!!

However Jack Bartlett was also shy, rather old fashioned and an extremely private man. He was social when deemed necessary and although wild in his day he was incredibly loyal, trustworthy and a loving husband to his late wife right up until the day she passed.

Lyndy Barlett has been Jacks wife for over 40 years until she passed away from cancer; she had also been one of only two women in Jacks life that he had ever shared himself with.

When Lyndy passed ( 9 years ago ) Jack had accepted his life and was content to live out his days at Heartland surround by his grand daughters and one day their own families.

He had never thought he could Love again ; That was until the day he met Lisa Stillman.

It was difficult for Jack to process what Lisa did to him physically. It was so foreign and something he hadn’t experienced in well over a decade. She had this hold over him, not that she meant it, it was just what happened when she was close.

And the truth of it was ; it frightened Jack to death.

Jack had up until now managed to keep Lisa at enough of a distance when it came to intimacy; Not because he wanted to (what she did to him he couldn’t quite explain) but more so due to his appreciation of making a complete fool of himself...and most importantly; disappointing Lisa.

It had been years since he had loved a woman, he was an old man; what if he wasn’t what Lisa’s expected, what she needed; he was beginning to tense up and Lisa could feel it.

They had been dancing together on and off all evening

~ stoping briefly to chase some of the herd that had strayed from the yards whilst Ty and Caleb were ridding themselves of some pent up testosterone ~

The magnificent Alberta sky had certainly put on its best show for them, the stars were endless and the moon shon bright enough for Jack to see Lisa’s expression as she felt him tense up beside her.

Deep down Lisa knew that Jack loved her; he didn’t need to say it in words, he told her each time he saw her; the look in his eyes, the brush of his hand across her back, the gentle way he held her face in his hands when he kissed her.

What Lisa also recognised was that this was more than likely foreign ground for Jack. She new he worried about their age difference and she guessed ( given his reservations) that it had been a very long time since he had been with a woman. This only endured Lisa to him more; she herself had been at the hands of an arrogant, harsh (now) ex husband, whom was never loving or kind and over the years she had attracted many men’s attention all of which ended before it began, primarily due to their crude, often selfish and always ‘showy’ dementors.

Until she met Jack ( this included her ex husband Dan) Lisa has never felt so drawn to someone , so comfortable in their presence and at ease in their company.

“You want to turn in?” Lisa looked up and smiled lovingly at Jack

She could feel he was still tense, she knew why but she also knew that this what she had expected

“It’s ok Jack, I won’t bite” she stood up on her tip toes kissing him soundly.

She felt him almost instantly relax, returning the kiss, then taking her by the hand and leading her to his trailer.

The only light was that of the moon but it was just enough; enough for them both to see one another.

The moon beams flowed in through the side window as Jack sat to remove his boots; his eyes never left her.

Lisa could feel him watching as she cleaned her face and poured herself a glass of water.

Little butterflies pooled in Lisa’s stomach; they had spent numerous evenings out for dinner, meals at Heartland and Fairfield; many a night sitting quietly on the old leather couch watching the fire glow.

They kissed; often. Lisa loved the feeling of Jacks calloused hands softly touching her face as they did. She loved his scent, falling asleep one evening with her head resting on his chest, the rhythmic sound of his heart causing her to doze off.

But she wanted more, she wanted everything; but like Jack she was scared.

The feeling of Jacks strong hands resting on her shoulders brought Lisa out her daydream.

He turned her gently, she looked up and saw so much love in his eyes.

“Lise....” his voice throaty with apprehension

“Lise, I haven’t done ‘this’ in a very VERY long time”

She smiled and reached up putting her arms around his neck

“I know” she whispered

“And it’s ok Jack, I’m scared too”

He looked at her and saw she had meant what she said.

“I love you Jack, I don’t think in my life I have ever loved someone the way I do you”

At that very moment Jack new that all his fear was for nothing; Lisa knew how old he was, but she didn’t care she loved him anyway. She knew it had been a long time, and that he was nervous; but so it seemed was she.

Jack pulled Lisa into his embrace and kissed her deeply.

“I love you too Lise,to be honest I think I feel in love you the first moment I laid eyes on ya”.

He smiled under is moustache looking deeply into her eyes ; his hands shaking slightly as he began unbuttoning Lisa’s soft pink shirt.

After the last button was undone she wriggled slightly helping jack slip it off her shoulders, smiling as she undid her jeans and let them drop to the floor.

As Lisa stood there in front of Jack in nothing but her underwear she couldn’t help but giggle as she watched the expression on his face.

She had never felt this comfortable in front of anyone before; she surprised even herself.

Not ever in his entire 63 years had Jack seen something so beautiful, he closed his eyes before opening them again quickly reassuring himself that this wasn’t some sort of dream.

She took a step closer and placed her hands on his chest. She slowly undid his plaid shirt and it too soon joined the growing pile of clothing on the floor.

She gradually untucked Jacks cotton undershirt, his skin was so warm against hers. He lifted his arms as she stood on her toes pulling it over his head.

Lisa paused, she felt those butter flies again as she watched the glow from the moon catch the corner of Jacks belt buckle.

His eyes never leaving hers; he reached for her hands and placed them on his buckle

“Your hands are far more nimble than mine” his voice now more relaxed than before

Jack smiled down at Lisa as she slowly unfastened his prized buckle and helped him out of his wranglers.

As the night wore on it would be one that neither Jack or Lisa would ever forget, but more importantly never take for granted. Both had apprehensions, Jack more so than Lisa; however each of them surprised one another in ways which not only affirmed their love but more so made Jack realise that all of his fears were irrelevant.

Lisa was patient but assertive as she eased Jack back into intimacy without scaring him or making him feel uncomfortable; and she herself was more than pleasantly surprised in return. Jacks

masculine physique was far more than Lisa could have imagined. He made a striking figure and she beamed as her eyes took him in one bit at a time.

He was strong and took the lead the more comfortable he became. His large calloused hands held her tenderly and he loved her with so much passion it literally took her breath away.

Lisa has never experienced such a considerate lover. He tenderly loved each and every part of Lisa and in return she made him feel things he never new possible.

As Jack heaved the Saddle Lisa had brought him out of the trailer, {Lisa had admitted defeat and was going to return it } they laughed and joked together

“Are you sure about this?” Jack looked across and smiled

“Yes I don’t know what I was thinking, it’s a ridiculous saddle”

Jack hadn’t dare let Lisa know that it wasn’t actually ‘half bad’

“It does have all the Bells & Whistles” he added jokingly

Lisa smiled to herself, reminiscing about the previous night.

She looked at him and gave him this look, one he hadn’t seen before but Jack figured it had something to do with the previous evening.

“One thing you don’t need, is more Bells & Whistles” Lisa whispered close into his ear, her warm breath against his skin.

And with that Jack knew that Lisa had won his old heart, for good.

A little one shot from All hearts lead home. An enormous Thankyou as always to @the-real-tc for your encouragement

Tim’s comment had cut deeper than she had first thought, Lisa knew she had pushed this last trip out well and truely as far as possible ; her heart ached for Jack.

Her anxieties had got the better of her, she had hadn’t answered his calls as often in the last few weeks. If she was completely honest with herself merely hearing his voice made her want to cry. Her aunts constant nagging made her feel guilty at any mention of going home and Lisa had allowed it.

As she shoved her bags into her and Jacks room in frustration and looked to change into something more comfortable, Jacks familiar scent filled her lungs. She paused, closed her eyes and breathed in deeply ; before rummaging through her bag looking for a pair of Jeans.

‘He’s been alone for QUITE a while now Lisa’....those words kept swimming around in Lisa’s mind and that sickening feeling she had felt on numerous occasions whilst she had been away began to take over again.

Lisa noticed something she hadn’t seen before, as she picked up the photo that adorned Jacks bedside table; her heart beat a little faster { it must have been one Jade had taken at Thanksgiving } but it’s memory made Lisa smile and a sense of warmth washed over here. She was home now; home for good.

This trip had been as tough on Lisa as she suspected it had on Jack, but never once did she let on, she wouldn’t ever tell him how she awful this trip really was...it only made that feeling of guilt she felt constantly set deep in the pit of her stomach even worse, especially at the thought of her not being home to support Jack in his time of loss.

Will was undoubtedly Jacks oldest and most beloved friend and It broke her heart to think of him at the fishing cabin...alone.

It was a combination of many factors; however this was the last straw that made Lisa’s decision final. There would be no more trips for business, no more trips for Aunt Evelyn, no more trips...unless it was with Jack!

{Lisa had come to the conclusion over the last 2 weeks in Istanbul with Aunt Evelyn that the one thing which had always played such a huge part in her life, something she had always thoroughly enjoyed was now something that caused her life nothing but angst.

These past months away had weighed heavily on Lisa, at first she assumed it was a combination of missing Jack, their family, the pressure of her business and her persuasive aunt; but it wasn’t until Tim’s razor sharp comments that Lisa truely realised that it all came back to one thing { or in her case one person}, Jack.

Fairfield would always be in her life, it would always be her business but the time had come for Lisa to take a step

back and she knew that now was as good time as ever.

Her entire adult life had been spent jet setting around the world {quite often with her aunt Evelyn} ,her business life and her married life to Dan had all to often revolved around being ‘somewhere amazing’, ‘somewhere exotic’, always dining some where expensive...but somehow there was always something missing.

As she wiped away a tear, tied back her hair, grabbed her phone and headed out to Tim who was waiting in his truck, Lisa took one last glance around their room and as she took in a deep breath she whispered to herself “I’ll never leave you again Jack, I promise “.....

As they arrived at Jacks fishing cabin the warm Alberta sun glistened across the trickling water, it was no wonder this place had always been somewhere that Jack would escape to for some quiet time.

It was so peaceful, almost completely untouched { just the way he liked it } This was the one place Jack would come; in times of great celebration, but also in times of great sadness and mourning.

This rustic old mountain cabin was built with his very own hands and was filled with the memories of the people and the times he loved most in his life.

The Fire inside was still burning, but hadn’t been stoked in a while.

Lisa chuckled as she noticed Jacks overnight bag and it’s contents ... or lack there of.

“He must be out fishing” Tim called out as he headed up stream...

“I’ll head up here, you go down there” he pointed down towards the little water fall about a half mile down..

Of all the private moments the two of them had shared in their lives, it was the first time that Jack brought Lisa to his fishing cabin that still, even after so many years would give her goose bumps as she remembered it like it was yesterday....

Jacks strong arms encircling her as he taught her how to Fly fish; ‘a team sport’ she whispered into the air to no one.

Lisa was brought out of her day dream when she heard Tim yelling her name...

As Lisa turned to run in the direction of where Tim was, the urgency in his voice sent a shiver down her spine.

‘LISA!!’

‘I’m over here! Call someone, call someone NOW!!’

Nothing could have prepared Lisa for what she saw next as her husband lay wet, limp and unresponsive in the arms of his ex son in law...

Lisa’s heart stopped and her life with Jack flashed before her eyes.

Why had she gone away with aunt Evelyn?

Why didn’t she realise that Jack needed her so much?

Tim was right he had been alone for a very a long time; too long!

What sort of a wife was she?!?

What if Jack died and never knew just how much she adored and loved him...

How her life was empty until he came along and took her heart.

What if........

The next few hours went by as a complete blur, they were a moment in time lost ; never to be remembered ; only no matter how hard she tried Lisa couldn’t erase them from her memory.

Flashing lights, Tim shouting, them both working on Jack until help arrived, more lights, more questions, Jacks cold hands, his usually sun kissed skin deathly pale.

Arriving at the hospital to a sea of tears and a barrage of more questions.

There were many times in her life when Lisa had been afraid, but never had she ever felt more petrified than she did at that very moment.

If she was to loose the one thing more important to her than life itself; she gasped for air as she tried to remain stoic.

‘Mrs Bartlett?’

‘Excuse me, Mrs Bartlett?’

A softly spoken young Nurse tapped Lisa on the shoulder

‘If you could please come with me Mrs. Bartlett?’

Her surname had never officially been changed to ‘Bartlett’, keeping her maiden name was a decision Lisa had made long before her marriage to Dan let alone Jack, however on the rare occasion someone referred to her by this name it hadn’t taken much of Lisa’s attention...today was different.

Lisa followed the Nurse along the light blue hospital hallway. It seemed to go on forever. She had left the others sitting anxiously in the waiting room.

As she entered a small room, with a large window that over looked the hospitals garden she gasped as she she saw Jack laying peacefully in what seemed a larger than normal hospital bed.

His colour had returned and he seemed to be resting peacefully { aside from the intubation tube the doctor had to insert}. The slow and steady rise and fall of his chest along with the soft beeping of his breathing machine all became to much for Lisa to bear.

She couldn’t make herself move closer, her eyes burned with the tears she had so desperately tried to hide.

The soft hand of the nurse resting gently on her back brought her back ...

‘I’m sorry’ she whispered as she glanced sideways and met the kind eyes of Jacks nurse.

‘There’s no need to be sorry Mrs.Bartlett? I know this must be extremely difficult’

Jacks nurse fussed over his chart before guiding Lisa to a chair she had situated next to the right side of his bed; away from all his breathing aperartis.

‘I’m Libby and I will Mr.Barlett’s charge nurse while he is with us’, her voice was warm and sincere and almost in an instant Lisa felt calmer than she had all day.

‘The Doctor will be in any minute, just have a seat next to your husband and I will go and hurry her up ‘...

As Libby exited the room Lisa reached out to touch Jacks calosed hands, they were warm & they were rough: these were the hands that had worked a lifetime, had roped cattle and guided horses. The hands that had mended fences and nursed babies; but most importantly they were the hands that held her tight,the hands that had cupped her face when he kissed her softly the hands she reached for always.

‘I have just been and spoken with your family Mrs.Bartlett; I thought it best to do so before I advised them to head home for the night, Jack needs his rest’, she pushed ‘ however I will allow you to stay with him but no other visitors for the next 24 hours’.

She looked up at Lisa with an understanding look.

‘I have organised with the staff on tonight to bring you in a comfy chair’....

‘Now the Dr will be here any minute’

‘Dr Eloise Brown was well known in Hudson for her directness and her no nonsense approach ;she was also renowned for her diagnostic abilities and her medical knowledge. She had known the Bartlett family for many years and Lisa knew Jack was in excellent hands.

As she came to sit alongside Lisa, she reached out and touched her hand...

‘Now Lisa, I don’t think I need to tell you how serious this was’ she paused as if trying to gauge Lisa’s understanding

‘Jack isn’t a young man anymore, and today he was was very close to leaving you’....

Lisa quickly wiped a tear away from her cheek

‘However, as you well know your husband has incredible tenacity for his age and he has fought hard, so hard infact that I am almost certain he will return to his normal self in the very near future’....

Dr Brown continued, although her tone dropped and her voice softened.

She looked Lisa in the eye...

‘ I have known Jack for a very Long time Lisa, I have seen him go through more heartache than many....she paused

‘He is a lucky man to have found you, to have found love again’ she paused again;

‘But I hope you realise how lucky you are also? ‘ it was as if she was asking Lisa a rertorical question

‘Jacks not a young man anymore Lisa, but he has so much love to give you...please stay close now, he really needs you to be close by’

It was all Lisa needed for the flood gates of guilt to break open, her tears pouring out of her like a water fall.

Eloise Brown, not the doctor but the woman had sensed how Lisa felt ; she knew their situation and she knew both the relevance and importance of what she had just said; she also knew what life was like as a busy business woman, a seasoned traveller herself she knew could relate to the life Lisa lived ; but sadly she also knew the reality of loosing a loved one whilst being on the other side of the world and it was for those reasons that she herself had let her guard down.

It was after 7pm and the Doctors were conducting their rounds when they noticed Jack attempting the breath on his own...the decision was made to remove his incubation tube and allow him to begin breathing naturally without any assistance.

Hours had passed and the steady rise & fall of Jacks chest indicated his breathing was slowly returning to normal...now all he had to do was wake.

Around 2am Lisa had returned from the bathroom, her neck was sore from sitting in the chair so she wriggled her slight frame under the crook of Jacks strong arm, making sure not to put pressure on him, resting her head gently on the lower part his chest ; she lay awake listening to the rhythm of his strong heart beat.

As she lay there Lisa began to whisper softly to Jack {she wasn’t sure he could hear her } but she wanted to tell him how sorry she was, how if she had her time again she would never have gone to see aunt Evelyn , but also that she would never have left him alone whilst she travelled on so many occasions through out their relationship.

As she lay there Lisa almost never drew breath. She told him of all the things she admired most ; his strength, his loyalty, his honesty & his gentleness...of all the things that drove her crazy too...his stubbornness, his old fashioned ways and how he always took the last chocolate biscuit even if Lisa had told him a million times it was her’s, saved for after supper.

There was nothing Lisa held back, she wanted Jack to know everything ...she needed Jack to know everything...

‘There is no one else who I have ever or will ever love more than I love you’ her whisper interrupted only by the odd sniffle as she fought back the tears that burned her piercing blue eyes...

‘I have been selfish, being away so often all these years Jack, and for that I cannot tell you how sorry I am’ ; her tone at times almost inaudible through emotion...

‘You somewhat saved me Jack’ Lisa took in a huge breath and exhaled slowly

‘You saved me from my past life, from an unemotional, cold hearted ex husband, from a life of fake people and insincere men with little more than huge ego’s’

She was crying now, not able to hold pack those painful tears

‘I never would have imagined meeting someone like you, let alone having someone love me like you do’

{a sigh escaped Lisa’s lips }

‘ There have been times when I haven’t loved myself Jack, but somehow you always make me feel safe, I don’t think you will ever know how much that has meant to me’

‘My only regret, as selfish as it may sound is not being able to love you sooner’

Lisa went quiet

‘I don’t want to remember the me, before you Jack’

Lisa never really discussed her desire to be a mother . Whilst married to Dan she yearned for someone to love, but he was always opposed to Lisa having children from day one, so as the years went by she was forced to push it as far into the back of her memory as she could, focusing on Fairfield and the business.

Those feelings re surfaced only days after she met Jack all those years before.

There was something about the strapping older Cowboy that made those feelings real again.

And as much as she respected Jacks late wife’s Lindy’s memory, a very small part of Lisa always wished she had met him earlier in her life...

‘But my biggest regret Jack’ in a voice so soft, yet so sincere...

‘Was not being able to have your children’

there she had said it... Lisa unconsciously covered her mouth as if she was afraid someone may have heard her.

As she closed her eyes and finally began to drift off to sleep a piece of her hair came loose from the comb that held it in place, Lisa was so tired she barely even realised that it had been brushed back off her face. It was almost as if she was dreaming that Jacks thumb was gently rubbing the corner of shoulder ; a slow, circular motion, as gentle as could be as Lisa drifted off into a deep slumber.

Something startled Lisa, her eyes shooting open, trying to familiarise herself to her surroundings. The early autumn sun streamed through the cracks in the curtains as the Nurse entered to start her mornings rounds.

Lisa craned her head to look at the clock that adorned the wall in Jacks room, it read 7:22.

She sighed , had she only slept for a 4 hours, it had felt like eternity....

Carefully she tried to sit up, sliding herself from under the warmth of Jacks strong arm.

She could see the nurse looking through Jacks chart, she turned towards the bed.

‘Morning Mrs. Bartlett, I’m sorry to disturb you’

Before Lisa could reply she herd a familiar raspy chuckle.

As she went to sit up she felt a familiar large calloused hand touch her head, run across her hair and all the way down her back.

There were no words Lisa could find to express how she felt, all she could do was savour the moment she had prayed for over these past 24 hours.

A tired smile lit up Jacks face as he left his hand resting on the small of Lisa’s back.

‘Hey Lise, why the tears ?’

Jacks raspy, deep voice crackled as he spoke for the first time

All Lisa could do was cry, every emotion she had felt these past weeks, topped off by the past 24 hours all of a sudden overwhelmed her.

She physically couldn’t talk, she wanted to...desperately she wanted to but she knew how close she had come to loosing Jack and now that he was here, awake in front of her very eyes and it left her, for the first time speechless.

Jack pushed his hand {that still rested on the small of Lisa’s back} faintly as he attempted to pull himself forwards, towards Lisa. She smiled and shook her head as he rested back against the pillow in defeat.

Tenderly he cupped the side of Lisa’s face, she closed her eyes and savoured the familiar roughness of his strong hands as he kissed her softly ; their lips smiling against one another as they appreciated every single part of this moment.

It had been over 8 weeks since Dr. Brown had deemed Jack well enough to be discharged home to Heartland.

He had weekly follow up appointments which were all going according to plan and slowly but surly he had returned to his regular chores and adored role of family patriarch; All the while Lisa stood by his side assisting him whenever he needed.

There had been a few tumultuous moments {mainly Lou or Tim not minding their own business } however Jack’s return home to Heartland was one of great celebration and everyone agreed that Lisa’s decision to step back from her roles at Fairfield and spend more time with Jack was something { in particular Lou & Amy } couldn’t be more in favour of. Both the girls adored their grandfather and were incredibly greatful for the love and support Lisa gave him.

The time came and everyone officially farewelled Will Vernon at a special memorial Lou had organised, it was only small but they all had agreed that it was imperative that Jack be able to say a proper good bye to the man he regarded as his ‘Best Friend’.

Will ashes had been spread over his beloved home at Pike River and Jack had brought home some of Wills most precious treasures.

The winter weather had well and truely set in at Heartland, the days shorter and the nights longer.

It was Saturday evening, all the supper dishes were finished ; the fire roared as a blizzard set in.

Jack half came through door having been out to check the barn was secure and the horses were settled in for the night. Snow covered his winter jacket, he shook it before he came right in and was met with the immediate warmth of the fire.

As he made his way though the house turning lights down along the way he was stopped in his tracks as he reached the door of his and Lisa’s bedroom.

He knew Lisa was tired, she had been by his side the moment he woke {and before} from his accident. She had supported him, cared for him, yet knew when he needed his space. She never questioned his feelings and she loved him, unconditionally no matter how stubborn and pig headed he could sometimes be.

She had been patient with him as he returned to his normal self over these past weeks never forcing him or hurrying him along.

As he entered their room and closed the door behind him Lisa woke from her doze.

‘Sorry Lise, I didn’t mean to wake you’ jack started to undress for bed

‘I’m fine, Sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep’ Lisa was exhausted however alone time with Jack since he came home from hospital had almost been impossible.

Lisa smiled to herself as she watched Jack methodically hang his day clothes one by one on the back of the old leather chair.

She had always admired Jack strong, masculine physique ; broad shoulders, toned arms and strong hands { they had been one of the first things that had got her attention } and even as he had gotten older and had the health scares that he had, Lisa couldn’t help but still admire these attributes in her husband.

He was such a creature of habit these days, a small chuckle escaped her lips as she observed him. They would be celebrating his 74th birthday this coming month; and although not a milestone birthday it was most definitely a cause for celebration.

Jacks age had never defined who he was, Lisa herself was many years younger { 23 to be exact} than Jack however aside from some obvious physical signs Jack was as healthy and as fit as some men half his age.

Dr.Brown herself had been surprised at just how strong and virile Jack was. His ability to bounce back to health after such an accident was as she put it ;

“Due to his tenacity and overall physical health”

As he hauled himself into bed Lisa snuggled into his side, resting her head on his chest so she could listen to his heart beat.

‘Whatcha thinking about Lise?’ Jack murmured into her soft hair.

At the mere mention of what had happened to Jack, brought Lisa almost immediately to tears ; truth be known she hadn’t ever discussed those awful 24 hours where Jacks life was touch and go. However, little did Lisa realise that Jack had heard every word she whispered to him that fateful night. Every ounce of emotion and love she had shared with him ; Jack had heard every word.

‘Not much’ was Lisa’s hoarse reply

Jack moved so he could see her face.

He smiled as he kissed her forehead and wiped away a single tear that trickled down her dewy cheek.

‘I’ve never told you this Lise, but you also saved me you know?’

Lisa instantly sat upright

She looked up at Jack with those crystal blue eyes and she knew right then that he had heard her that night.

There was no need for more words, Jack knew how much Lisa loved him...he counted his blessings each and every day.

He was home, he was healthy and he was thankful.

‘I meant every word I said Jack’ Lisa’s head was burrowed back into the crook of his neck.

‘I know you did Lise, and you will never know what it meant to have you there when I needed you most’ he tried to get her to look at him when he spoke...

‘But I don’t want you to ever regret the life you had Lise, or the person you were. It’s what makes you who you are today...and there’s nothing about you I would ever change’,

Jacks words were direct yet sincere

‘I didn’t think it possible to feel the way I do about you , to love someone the way I love you’

Jack stopped, he reached for Lisa’s chin and brought her eyes to meet his

‘Sometimes loving you frightens the hell out of me Lise. Your young , I’m old. I worry I may not be enough for you, but you have taught me these last months that we have always found a way to make it work and that our love is all that really matters’

Lisa’s eyes welled with tears

‘There a things Lise I wish I could have given you ‘ { both knew what Jack meant ~ he would have done anything to have more children and even more to have them with Lisa }

‘But I am with out a doubt the luckiest man alive; I have a wonderful family who loves me and a beautiful wife by my side’

He chucked as he looked down at Lisa who had now burrowed in under his arm.

As the coldest part of the winters night set in and the wind howled outside Lisa had managed to manoeuvre herself in as close to Jack as possible ; her soft bare skin flush again his, the warmth of his body made her feel calm; the effect her unclothed body had on his almost instantaneous; his calloused hands tenderly yet deliberately running up and down her spine.

No one else in the world mattered at that very moment as the two of them became lost in the Love that only they fully understood.

Part 5 {final} to ( cowboy take me away)

As the ultrasound continued, measurements were taken and questions answered.

They shared a laugh { and some embarrassment on Jacks behalf) when the doc asked them if they had any idea of an approximate conception date ~ Lisa had a fairly good idea, whereas Jack on the other hand went a deep shade of red at the thought of having to answer such a fiercely private question.

Lisa gently rubbed his leg as if to let him know that it was ok, she knew he was embarrassed { that was Jack }, but even so she gave him a soft kiss and a wink just to add to his already awkward demeanour.

There was nothing though that could prepare either of them for the sight before their eyes on the ultrasound screen.

This small bean like figure with tiny arms and legs, and it’s own little heartbeat. Jack stared at the screen in a trance like state, he would never in a million years imagined that the gift of fatherhood would be bestowed upon him again, over 40 years after the birth of his beloved Marion.

Lisa lay there watching her husband then watching her unborn child and for the first time in a long time she felt completely content with her life.

After numerous checks and double checks Lisa was given the all clear to fly home and it couldn’t have come quick enough. They were both eternally greatful for the care Richard Delon had given Lisa and Jack made him promise he would come and stay at Heartland when he next took a vacation.

Lisa slept most of their flight home, they both knew there would be a barrage of questions on the arrival back at Heartland; but one thing they had both unanimously agreed on is that they would share their news with the family that evening at the welcome home supper Lou was preparing.

They had learnt the hard way that secrets were not an option in the Bartlett/Fleming/morris/Bourden household; so tonight everyone at Heartland was in for an amazing surprise.

After more kisses, hugs, sighs of relief and the monumental amount of questions they were prepared for; Lisa looked across at Jack and gave him a soft smile before excusing herself. She was exhausted and decided to take a nap before Tim, Casey, Georgie & Jade joined the rest of the family for their welcome home supper.

Jack watched Lisa as she quietly retreated to their bedroom, he himself was feeling the effects of jet lag and decided that a quick nap before the others arrived might be a wise idea.

About 3 hours later Lou knocked quietly on Jack & Lisa’s bedroom door, it was just after 6 and she knew they would both most likely want to freshen up before supper.

Jack was awake, he had been watching Lisa as she slept peacefully beside for the past few hours.

He thanked his grand daughter and gently woke Lisa, letting her know that supper was almost ready before rising and changing himself.

Lisa was coming out of the bathroom when Jack re entered their bedroom 20 mins later. He couldn’t wipe the smile of his face;

“What?” Lisa asking playfully as she pulled her hair back off her face and into a clip.

“Ohh Nothin” was his reply

She shot him a look that was a cross between a “choose your words wisely jack” and “come on out with it I dare ya”:

“Ohh I just noticed your usually flat stomach has all of a sudden got itself a little bit of a ‘bulge’, that’s all”

his smile broadening and voice teasing

~Lisa had always looked after herself and she was as fit as many woman half her age. She had mentioned to Jack quiet a few years earlier and on more than one occasion that he was the first man that she had ever felt truely comfortable with; Dan had constantly made remarks about her weight, her hair and how she was expected to look, whereas she felt Jack always accepted her and loved her for who she was; right from the very beginning ~

“Oh have you now” Lisa played along

“Well I’ll have you know Mr Bartlett that there is only one person to blame for this ‘so called’ bulge your talking about”,

her eyes lighting up as she let out one of her tell tale giggles.

“There is??” He sounded astonished

“And who might that be Mrs Barlett?”,

Jack was trying as ardently to remain as straight faced as he could but edging closer to Lisa by the second.

“YOU!!!!” she proclaimed proudly before throwing her arms around his neck (being mindful of her plaster cast) and kissed him fervently.

“You know”

Her tone now playful

“You should count yourself lucky Mr Bartlett; this little ‘bulge’ was such a long time coming and I made it with someone quite special”; she gave him another quick kiss, a cheeky wink and a pat on his backside before disappearing back into the bathroom to get ready.

Jack couldn’t help but laugh ~ the Doc has been right, he wasn’t too old and it was Lisa he had to thank for that!

It was a wonderful feeling having Lisa home safely and all his family at Heartland for supper. As he sat at the head of the table, surrounded by laughter, chatter, the clinking of glasses Jack felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. His family was what he was most thankful for and now was as good time as ever to share the news that it was again about grow.

Jack reached out and gently held Lisa’s hand in his. She glanced over and flashed him a beautiful smile; he new she was nervous; the truth be told so was he, but they knew that being open and honest right from the beginning was the best way; it was the only way!

Jack stood from his chair, Lisa’s hand now gently touching his upper leg.

“I want to thank everyone for coming tonight and for all the effort you put into preparing for it” Amy and Lou both looked up at their grandfather and smiled.

“I don’t need to tell you how happy I am to have Lisa back home {matter a fact I’m pretty sure you figured that out for yourselves} ;

Everyone at the table, including little Lyndy laughed; all knowing full well how much Jack had missed Lisa these past weeks.

Jack paused and glanced down at his wife, she was watching him intently with her piercing blue eyes, encouraging him to continue with out needing to say a word.

“My life” jack cleared his throat

“OUR lives have changed dramatically these past few days, I’m not real sure what the best way to say this is”

There was a long pause

“So I’m just going to come straight out and say it” : everyone was silent.

“What is it Grandpa?” Lou asked apprehensively before looking across to Lisa

“Grandpa?”

Lou looked at Jack

“Lisa? Are you ok?...you said all your tests were good, yeah?”

Both Lou and Amy were hanging on Jacks every word;

“It’s ok girls” Jack smiled as he reached to touch Lou on her shoulder.

And with a deep breath he began:

“Lisa is fine, actually she is better than fine. Yes she did have a slight stomach virus whilst travelling with Evelyn; however the main reason for her feeling so unwell is that; well...”

the words just wouldn’t come out.

Lisa hadn’t taken her eyes off Jack this entire time; she rose from her chair and placed her arm around his waist.

“The reason I was so unwell, which has come as a complete shock to us both is because; Well, Jack and I are going to have a baby”

The two of them almost in unison sighed in utter relief...

There were squeals of elation, tears and the odd ‘old Joke’ from Tim, but all in all everyone agreed that this was the best surprise ever!

The rest of the evening went by in a blur; everyone ( especially Lou & Amy) were elated at the news of the impending new addition; endless conversations about their new aunt or uncles arrival evolved; attempts to explain to Katie how it all worked; there was more laughter, more questions and Lisa had never felt more accepted and loved by Jacks family than at this very moment.

“Well Jack” Tim couldn’t wipe the grin off his face,

“To tell you the truth old boy, I didn’t think you still had it in ya”, his grin was growing by the minute.

But Jack had all the confidence in word tonight;

“Well Tim”; Jack leant in nice and close ;

“Well I guess now you know better dontcha”, and with a solid pat on the back and a sly wink, it was Tim who for once was lost for words.

After the last dish had been washed and put away, the good nights had finally come to an end Jack slowly made his way through the homestead turning down lights as he went.

He assumed that Lisa would be fast asleep given the nights excitement, however he was pleasantly surprised to find her propped up in bed waiting for him.

It had been so many weeks since the two of them had slept side by side in their own bed; Lisa turned to her side and snuggled in close, resting her injured arm gently on his bare chest.

Jack could feel the tiny ‘bulge’ that was Lisa’s stomach pushing up against his waist; he reached under the covers and felt the tiny mound with his calloused hands; Lisa sighed as she snuggled even closer.

Jack knew this time things would be different, he knew Lisa would allow him to be involved, that he would make sure she had his suppport whenever she needed it.

“I’m so glad everyone was so happy tonight” Lisa lifted her head as her eyes met Jacks;

“Me too Lise” he bent forward to kiss her tenderly; Lisa deepened the kiss and

rolled over so she lay directly over Jack.

“Hey” he whispered looking deep into her crystal blue eyes;

“You better watch it; this is what got us here in the first place”

Lisa half giggled half laughed all whilst trying not to make too much noise; Jack leant in, but this time the kiss was more passionate it almost took her breath away.

“I don’t mind” she whispered.

Part 4 ( cowboy take me away)

Dr Delon was genuinely surprised at the older mans answer.

“Wow!”

Was the young Doctors quick reply

“You look great! and seem extremely really fit and well for a man your age Jack”

he noticed Lisa was smiling broadly at his last comment.

“Well thanks Doc, I like to keep busy and there’s always work to be done on the ranch; so I don’t have much choice”

he paused then very cheekily continued;

“Oh and my beautiful young wife keeps me on my toes too !”.

Both Dr Delon and Jack laughed, whilst Lisa shook her head and went a slight shade of pink.

“So Doc?”Jack asked eagerly

“Did the tests come back as expected?”

The young doctor paused before he continued on; {No the results were not what he had anticipated and from what he could gauge not results his patient and her husband would be expecting either.}

“Well actually No Jack, Lisa’s results were nothing like I had anticipated”

This surprised Jack, and immediately worried him.

“But before I go on I want to assure you both that there is nothing to worry about; Lisa is going to be fine”

Now Jack was confused and from the grip his wife had on his hand, so was she.

“So”, the doctor continued

“Your MRI was clear which indicates no more internal bleeding”, his voice was calm.

“And your bloods, urine and ultrasound all show nothing which indicate and infection or ‘super bug’, as they are referred to these days”.

He paused and noticed that both Jack and Lisa had understood what he was telling them.

“So there will be no need for any IV or oral

Medication”, he briefly paused but the decided it best to continue on.

“However, we did find something in your blood and Urine tests and upon taking a closer look we were able to confirm our suspicions through your ultra sound”.

Jacks heart sank.

Dr Delon was trying to figure out if either Jack or Lisa had worked out what is was he had found, the news he was about the give them would undoubtedly come as a huge shock and would change their lives indefinitely.

“Please Doctor” Lisa’s voice was soft and gentle.

“Whatever it is that you have found, it’s okay; I can handle it; WE can handle it”

Jack could feel her trembling.

He leant over and kissed her forehead gently.

“I love you”, he whispered.

Lisa turned and gave him that look, the one she saved only for him, the one that spoke more than a thousand words and relayed exactly how much she loved him.

“Well it appears Lisa that your suspected stomach bug is infact ‘hyperemesis gravidaram’ or what’s more commonly referred to as ‘morning sickness’.

Had Jack heard correctly?

“I’m sorry Doc, but did you say morning sickness”

Jack sat in stunned silence whilst he tried to get his head around what he thought his old ears had heard.

“I did indeed” The doctors voice was so sincere and calm

Jack glanced across at Lisa, she seemed in millions miles away; yet a sudden glow illuminated from her. She was beautiful.

Jack stood from where he had been seated next to Lisa.

“I’m sorry Doc, I just need some air”

He squeezed Lisa’s shoulder gently as he hastily made his way out the door.

Dr Delon came over and sat himself next to Lisa. She hadn’t said a word and he was worried that from her sudden change in colour she may infact pass out.

She turned to face him cautiously

“Morning sickness?” She murmured

“But I’m almost 50 years old”

{and to herself ~ And I thought I was going through the change}

Then questions kept coming

“How is this even possible?”

“How far along am I?”

“What is something goes wrong” she began to sob, turning her face away from view

This was nothing like what Lisa was expecting ~ however in that very instant a warm, calm feeling that she couldn’t really describe suddenly washed over her.

“We will need to do a more thorough ultrasound Lisa, but my guess is you are approx 10-11 weeks along”.

As a Doctor Richard Delon had seen very few woman Lisa’s age conceive naturally and he wasn’t going to lie, there would be risks involved; however she had come this far ( had suffered some sort of tummy bug ) and he could see from her past medical records and physic that she was a fit, healthy, 49 year old.

As she scanned the room Lisa realised Jack wasn’t there; but she new her ‘old cowboy’ all too well. She understood how much this news would overwhelm him.

He would be outside; she thought to herself~ in the fresh air, attempting to get his head around the fact he would be a father again.

As she went to rise from her seat she spoke softly,

“I think I’ll go and find Jack”;

But as she rose, she all of a sudden felt slightly light headed and sat herself back down with a slight thud.

Richard Delon walked towards Lisa and extended his hand to her,

“Lisa, why don’t you rest for a while, I’ll go and check on Jack and book you in for your scan”.

She was greatful she had Dr Delon treating her, he seem to understand the shock both she and Jack felt, but somehow he also knew how much they loved one another and how much {without either of them saying it} this pregnancy meant to them.

Lisa closed her eyes and rested her hands across her abdomen; after all these years, after everything she and Jack had been through, here they were, at the age they were, having a baby.

The Doc found Jack sitting just outside the cafeteria in the park area; head in hands, eyes closed.

He sat down beside him and put his hand on Jacks shoulder.

“I’m sorry Doc” Jack spoke in his deep graverly voice

“Is Lisa ok? , I shouldn’t have walked out but boy did you take me by surprise”.

Of all the things that could have been ‘wrong with Lisa’ this was the absolute last that Jack had envisaged; all his past turmoils came bubbling to the surface.

“Doc, I’m almost 72 years old! I’m a great grandfather for gods sake!”

The more he thought about it the more frightened he became.

“What if something happens to me and Lisa is left with a young child on her own?”

“What if I cant be the kind of father my child deserves? The father and husband Lisa needs me to be?”

It had all of a sudden become to much for Jack Bartlett, the usually private, strong, resilient man could no longer hide his fears.

The two men sat side by side in silence before the young doctor spoke.

He had chosen his words carefully; He didn’t know Jack well at all, or Lisa for that matter, however he knew one thing for sure that they shared a special love, one that was rare, one that many never got to experience and nothing;not age, not illness not even a surprise new baby would ever change that.

“Jack I understand why your frightened I really do” .

He made eye contact with the older man before he continued.

“But the fact is you and Lisa are having a baby”

He was blunt, but his tone kind.

“And Lisa needs you now more than she ever has or will in her life”

“I’m confident Jack, from what I have seen that you will be wonderful parents”

He felt the older mans anguish, but he could see the type of man Jack was and he knew he was right.

“This baby will be very lucky to have parents like you and Lisa”.

He rested his hands on his knees as he rose from the park bench they shared.

“Oh and one last thing Jack” there was a boldness in the way he spoke

“I’d say it’s pretty obvious that your NOT too old”

He shot Jack a wink and gave him a friendly pat on the back as he headed back into the hospital.

He turned briefly to take another glance at the wise, stubborn and somewhat ‘older cowboy’ he had only just come to meet; he smiled to himself.

“Come on Jack, you and your wife have plenty to talk about and I have an ultrasound I need to organise”.

The Doc’s words had hit a cord with Jack.

{your a foolish old man Jack BARTLETT; but a god damn lucky one at that} Jack mumbled to himself as he heaved his tired old body up from the bench and headed inside to see Lisa.

Once in Dr Delons private rooms both Jack and Lisa were preparing for the Ultrasound which would help assess the babies general health and Lisa’s approximate due date.

It was so foreign to both of them given this was Lisa’s first child and Jacks first in over 40 years.

“Things are a bit different these days Doc” Jack found all the testing equipment and screens quite overwhelming, especially given his track record with attending doctors appointments; of any kind.

Part 3 ( cowboy take me away)

Jacks voices wavered as he was anxious to see Lisa

“It’s nice to meet you Jack, given the circumstances. If you could follow me to my office I’d like to discuss your wife’s condition before we go on up to see her”.

Dr Delon had a big smile and Jack felt more at ease as he followed the young doctor down the long corridor.

Once seated in his office the Dr proceeded to fill Jack in on Lisa’s accident and condition.

“This was a very serious accident Jack, your wife was only inches away from direct impact ~ she is lucky to be alive”.

His eyes had a kindness about them as he leant forward over his desk.

“We had to operate in order to stop

some internal bleeding, this took longer than expected. She has a fractured left wrist, some cuts and bruises and a mild concussion, but aside from that your Mrs Bartlett is a very lucky woman”.

He smiled as he saw the look of relief on Jacks face.

“We do want to keep her in for observation though Jack, and we would like to run some more tests over the next few days”, he paused to re read over his notes.

“She has been unwell on and off the entire trip according to her Aunt, so we just want to investigate more throughly if that’s ok with you both?”.

Lisa had told Jack about the stomach virus she had, but what she failed to mention was that it had been bothering her for the entire trip?

“Your wife was quite dehydrated when she arrived so we just want to rule out a few things such as; a serious intestinal virus, pregnancy, an infection of some sort”

Jack chuckled to himself

“Well doc I’m pretty sure it won’t be the second one; given Lisa’s age”. ( she was due to turn 50 in less than a month).

“But I appreciate the care you are giving her and am leaving it in your capable hands, so please do for whatever you need to”.

Dr Delon rose from his desk and gestured towards his door;

“This way Jack”.

He pointed towards the administration desk and down the hall.

“I know someone who is very egar to see you”.

Through all the worry he had felt these past 24 hours , the feeling of absolute relief when he laid eyes on Lisa had finally caught up with Jack.

As Dr Delon left them alone all Jack could do was breakdown and sob as he laid his head gently on Lisa’s lap.

Tears trickled down her cheeks as she ran her fingers through his thick grey hair.

Before now Lisa had been niaeve as to just how close she had come to never touching him again, hearing his voice, inhaling his scent. As she felt the rise and fall of his chest, Lisa knew in her heart that this would be the last overseas trip she would make.

Heartland was where she wanted to be; it was at home with Jack that Lisa was needed most. It was what SHE needed more than anything.

Slowly Jack lifted his head and looked into those piercing blue eyes he had missed so much.

“Oh Lise” his voice barely audible

“I have never been so frightened in my entire life as I was these past couple of days”.

Lisa’s soft hand touched his unshaven cheek

“I don’t know what I would have done if...”

“Shhhhhh ; I know, and I’m so sorry Jack”

Lisa too couldn’t contain her emotions any longer.

“I should never have gone away; and I promise you, I won’t ever be doing it again”.

She looked up at the ceiling, nose scrunched, trying her darndest not to breakdown.

“My place is at home with you; I’ve done what I needed to do and I’ve seen all I want to see”

she smiled lovingly at Jack as she wiped away a stray tear.

Soon they were both fast asleep, the last 24 hours ~ No in fact the last 8 weeks had exhausted the two of them past belief and in each other’s presence was the only place they could both truly rest.

The family were all relieved to hear Jacks voice as he relayed the news of Lisa’s condition and reassured them there was nothing to worry about and they would both be back home in no time.

He had woken about 2 hours after they had drifted off, Lisa continued to sleep peacefully. Jack watching her contently, only leaving her side to phone home.

When he returned to the room after calling Heartland he noticed Lisa’s bed was empty. A few moment later she exited her hospital bathroom. Jack noticed almost instantly the weight she had lost whilst she had been away, she smiled tiredly as she watched his eyes travel up down her body.

“You ok Lise” he asked softly

“The Doc said you have had the stomach upset almost the entire trip?”

Lisa noticed the concern in his voice.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He rubbed her back softly.

She sighed, knowing full well she should have told Jack just how unwell she had been feeling; but decide, for his sake to play it down a little.

“I know I should have told you, and I’m sorry”; tiredness still overwhelmed Lisa’s body.

“I didn’t want to worry you and really honey I’m fine, the doctor thinks it’s an intestinal bug { that are not uncommon whilst travelling } which they will run some more tests for, then treat it with some strong antibiotics”.

Lisa sat back on the bed as Jack helped her into a more comfortable position. He pulled a large hospital chair as close to the side of her bed as he could and within minutes Lisa had closed her eyes and had nuzzled her way into the crook of Jacks broad shoulder.

“It won’t be anything long term Jack”

her voice dropping off

“Just a bug that will clear up with some medication and a few changes in di”....

But before she could finish her sentence Lisa was fast asleep,snoring softly.

Jack chuckled quietly to himself as he recalled the numerous times Lisa had adamantly denied that she ever snored, getting quite ardent about it on a number of occasions when he brought it up.

His smile broadened because Jack didn’t mind, he was just happy to have her within arms reach, safely sleeping beside him again. Nothing could ever be better than this moment he thought to himself.

It was a little past 8 pm and visiting hours were due to finish up.

Jack felt awful at the thought of being seperated from Lisa again; he had assured the staff that he was more than happy to sleep in a chair just as long as he could be with her.

Although it wasn’t usually allowed, with the approval of Dr Delon the staff brought in another hospital bed which they pushed up beside Lisa’s so Jack could sleep next to her.

Lisa has become teary at the thought of Jack having to leave and was quite overcome with the hospitals kind gesture.

They lay together, side by side after almost 9 weeks apart and although Jack had always been adamant that his bed was he ONLY place he was comfortable, he had come to realise that it was actually NEXT to Lisa that he felt most rested.

She lay there in Jacks arms as he discussed with her Wills health scare, at times becoming emotional at the thought of how close he had come to losing his oldest friend; and Lisa just listened,Jack needed to let it all out. At times Lisa would run her fingers softly across Jacks chest, placing a small kiss on his hand that was placed tenderly over hers.

The time apart had clearly taken its toll on both of them.

The following day Lisa spent the morning going through all her tests Richard Delon had booked; these included bloods, urine, an MRI and ultrasound. It’s was a tiring process and he apologised profusely for the amount of poking and prodding that was being done.

He did however assure Lisa that these investigations would give him the answers he needed to treat her chronic upset stomach and then, most importantly she and Jack could return home.

“If it’s what I suspect Lisa”

Dr Delon had popped into Lisa’s room to check on her after her busy morning;

“Then you will possibly need 2-3 more days in hospital on IV antibiotics, and if that works the way I anticipate it will then by the weekend we can discharge you home with follow up oral medication”.

He beamed as he saw both their reactions to the mention of ‘Home’.

“I will stress to you though Lisa that this medication will need to be taken for up to 4 weeks with the possibility of 6 as I suspect it’s a nasty bug, and you will need to start slowly your foods, keeping clear of anything diary for at least a week or more”.

Jack rested his hand on Lisa’s lap.

“Thanks Doc, don’t you worry she’s in good hands”

He glanced across at Lisa and noticed she was watching him, eyes shining, lips slightly pursed they way they did when she was proud.

“Oh I have no doubt about that Jack”

was Dr Delon’s cheerful reply;

“Now if you’ll both excuse me I’ll go and chase up these results. I’ll be back shortly”

As he exited Lisa’s room he turned and gave them a smile.

As he had intended Dr Delon returned a few hours later with news on Lisa’s tests ; however neither he or his fellow colleagues had anticipated the results that came back.

As he entered Lisa’s room there was something slightly different about him Jack noticed.

He couldn’t put a finger on it and it didn’t necessarily concern him, but it bothered him all the same.

“How old are you Jack if you don’t mind me asking”

Richard Delon smiled at the older man as he made his request

“I’ll be 71, no sorry 72 in August”

Jack had to stop and think for a moment.

He laughed out loud.

“When you get to my age Doc, it’s sometimes hard to remember”

A little sequel to ‘cowboy take me away’. I couldn’t let it just end so there will be part 2 and part 3. I hope you enjoy. As always an enormous Thankyou to @the-real-tc for her encouragement and support.

Part 2 ( cowboy take me away)

“Hey, What’s up with Grandpa?’”Amy asked her older sister,

“He has been out of sorts all day”

She followed Lou in with groceries from the SUV

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him, he seems pretty unsettled”,

Amy continued as Lou began to unpack and prepare for supper.

Lou couldn’t lie, she had noticed it also, she hadn’t wanted to think to much of it but the more she did the more it played on her mind...

“I think Lisa extended her trip by another week”she almost whispered.

“8 1/2 weeks is the longest they have been apart in almost a decade” she sighed

“I feel so sorry for him Amy, I mean he supported Lisa in going to help her aunt, and to be fair Evelyn had been unwell; but we know now it isn’t anything serious”.

Sh paused as she saw Jacks truck pull up out front

“I don’t think he realised just how much he was going to miss her, and now with her extending...”

she ceased the conversation as she heard him come through the front door

Jack has been to Hudson to collect supplies for the calf marking that he and Tim has organised for the next few days. It would keep him busy, keep his mind off things he told himself; keep him from missing Lisa.

Supper was always a hive of activity and this evening was no different.

Amy and Ty had a number of busy days scheduled at Fairfield (who was now proving to be one of their busiest clients), Georgie’s new coach was super impressed with her & Phoenix’ latest competition and Tim was still a regular ‘boarder’ at Heartland ; which secretly Jack hadn’t minded given Lisa’s lengthy absence.

Lou has made a delicious meal and these evenings together as a family were one of the only times since Lisa had left for Istanbul that Jacks heart didn’t feel lost.

“So grandpa”, Lou’s tone was somewhat ‘up beat’.

“How’s Lisa doing?,is she feeling better?” ~ { Both Lisa and Evelyn has picked up a tummy bug whilst travelling and although her aunt seemed have gotten rid of it, Lisa had unfortunately not been as lucky}

Jack knew what Lou was trying to do (and for this he was thankful), he also knew that his eldest grand daughter could see right through him, that his attempt to hide just how much he missed Lisa had indeed failed miserably;

And yet non the less she went along anyway.

“She’s doing good thanks Lou’”, Jack took a sip of his coffe

“She has a few more loose ends to tie up with Evelyn”, he paused for a moment, then smiled

“And then she’ll be home”, he almost let out a sigh of sheer relief.

From the other end of the table Tim could see that Jack had found this time away from Lisa difficult, far more so than any of her previous trips.

“Well Jack, once we get these calves marked it will be only a matter of days” he said cheerfully.

He looked up at Jack and gave him a wink, letting him know that it would be ok and that ‘he got it’.

Tim’s admiration for his ex father in law had increased over these past weeks,

He appreciated his hospitality (even if Jack didn’t have much say in the matter) and he knew darn well that there was a part of Jack that couldn’t help but feel somewhat anxious at the thought of his wife travelling with her rather persuasive Aunt.

Jack turned over in bed with a loud groan, he looked up the clock that was on Lisa’s bed side table : 4am

He couldn’t sleep. He has been tossing and turning for the past few hours. Heaving himself out onto the edge of the bed Jack ran his calloused hands across his face.

He admitted defeat.

“Time to get up old boy” he mumbled to himself as he dressed and quietly padded his way towards the kitchen,pausing briefly to glance lovingly at the photo of his wife on his grandmothers dresser as he shut the bedroom door behind him.

These past 3 weeks had taken their toll on Jack; with Lisa struck by some niggling stomach virus on the other side of the world, and then his oldest buddy Will hospitalised after a serious heart turn, Jack was worn out.

He had been to visit Will in Calvary regularly whilst he was in hospital and even though he spoke to Lisa every couple of days, and he didn’t regret for one minute his decision to support her trip; he had reached a point where all he really wanted was nothing else but to hold her in his arms.

“Grandpa!”

Jack must have dozed off in his leather chair as he woke somewhat startled at the tone in Amy’s voice

“I’m in here honey”

Before Jack could say anymore he caught a glimpse of the expression on Amy’s face

“Amy; what is it?”

I’m her mind Amy wanted to speak but the words just wouldn’t come out.

Jack spoke again only this time his tone more direct

“Amy! What’s wrong? Is it Lyndy? What is it?”

“No” was all she could manage

Lou came down the stairs, she could see the phone in Amy’s hand, and she could hear the tone in her Grandfathers voice

“Amy, what is it? What’s going on? Who

Was on the phone?”

There was an element of panic in Lou’s voice as she could now see the colour in Amy’s face had dramatically changed.

“Lou”, Amy looked up at her older sister

“You better take this”, she handed the phone across and took a step towards Jack

Lou’s conversation was short,her voice was low and Jack could see the look of concern growing by the second.

His heart sank and he slumped into the chair as he heard the words “there was an accident on a bus”.

As Tim entered the lounge and looked at his daughters and then at Jack, something told him that the calf marking would have to wait.

Lou came to sit down beside Jack ; he sat motionless as he listened to her recall the conversation she had had with the Canadian embassy in France.

Apparently Aunt Evelyn and Lisa were on their way to the airport in Tulon {Lisa had managed to sort out what she needed to with her aunt and was flying home early to surprise Jack }. They were in France because evidently Aunt Evelyn had decided to move there on a more permanent basis. She had gotten off at the stop before the airport and had bid Lisa farewell and as the bus turned back out onto the busy street a truck had failed to give way and had ploughed right into the side of it.

Lisa’s seat was only rows away from the direct impact.

“She’s still alive Grandpa”

Jack immediately lifted his head when he heard the word ‘alive’

Lou continued ;

“Lisa was taken immediately to the hospital where she was operated on”.

Lou stopped to catch her breath.

“The woman from the embassy said she is in a serious but stable condition Grandpa. You need to go to her”

Lou inhaled sharply

“They have given me all the details and will have someone from the embassy collect you directly from the airport”.

As she stood Lou turned to look at Jack, she rested her hand gently on his shoulder as Amy reached for his hand.

“Lisa’s tough Grandpa, she will be ok”

Amy couldn’t continue as she feared she would break down

“She needs you Grandpa, and you need her. Go pack yourself a bag I’ll go and organise your flight”

Lou indicated to Tim that she wanted to talk to him privately in the kitchen.

A thousand thoughts ran through Jacks mind as he threw a change of clothes, toiletries and whatever else he thought he might need into his overnight bag...

He want sure what to think, he was angry yet he was scared.

“Please God don’t take her from me”,

he uttered as he kissed his granddaughters goodbye.

The drive to the airport and the flight itself were almost a blur to Jack. He had forced himself to close his eyes but sleep was miles away.

Just as Lou had told him a driver from the embassy met him on his arrival and drove him directly to the hospital.

A tall young man, perhaps in his late 30s greeted Jack upon his arrival.

“Good evening sir”,

Jack recognised a Canadian accent immediately.

“I’m Dr Richard Delon and you must be Mr Bartlett?”.

He reached out to shake Jacks hand.

‘COWBOY TAKE ME AWAY’

I know I was a bit of an ass, and I’m sorry...Jack wrapped Lisa up in his strong arms, resting his chin gently on her head...breathing in her scent, feeling the rise and fall of her chest against his...

She could feel his heart beating, she closed her eyes ~ the sound made her feel safe, relaxed...it was home.

Lisa knew that in some ways Jack had every right to feel a tad synical about her aunt Evelyn’s request for her to come to Istanbul & visit...she hadn’t exactly initially ‘warmed to Lisa’s much older cowboy husband ‘... but they had made it right and Lisa knew that her Aunt could see how much she loved her life with Jack, how settled she had become...how his family were now in fact HER family...

Lisa’s gut told her that there was more to the story than aunt Evelyn was letting on...she just hoped that her ‘gut’ was right.

Her flight was booked, Lisa was leaving tomorrow...a one way ticket until she knew more details and could fully address the issues she felt she would be greeted with upon her arrival.

But right now all Lisa could think about was Jack, his warm embrace and how on earth she would ever mange to leave it again...

As he went to lead her to the large leather lounge in front of the warm fire Lisa stopped Jack in his tracks...a sly smile came across her face, a familiar sparkle in her piercing blue eyes and childlike giggle let Jack know that his ‘strong, independent wife’ had something else in mind for their last night together...

As he padded through the ranch house turning down the lights as he went Jack had a nagging thought that he couldn’t for the life of him push out of his mind.

So many times over the course of their relationship had his age caused Jack much worry and turmoil ; Lisa was 21 years his junior. She was beautiful, she was smart and she attracted many male admirers wherever she went...

It wasn’t that Jack ever doubted her love for him, not for one minute...he only doubted himself and his ability to give her what she deserved.

Even though there had been so many times over the past decade that Lisa had assured him that she chose to be with him because she LOVED him, that she didn’t care about his age, that the cowboy he was and all his stubborn ways were what made him the man that she loved. Deep down he knew that {just as Will had reminded him}...there was just one factor that continued to bother him...

As the last light was dimmed, he rubbed his calloused hands over his unshaven face & grunted to himself as he tried to forget his thoughts ~

The lamp on the big old tall boy made shadows as Jack quietly entered the bedroom...he stopped himself before he spoke, Lisa was standing at the window staring out into the dark star filled Hudson sky.

In the dim light the lamp gave out Jack could see by the expression on her face that Lisa was going to find this trip away as difficult as he was. Her nose was scrunched ( which she did when she was trying to hold it together) and a slight sniffle was attempted to be hidden as she realised Jacks presence in the room.

He had recognised from the first call from Aunt Evelyn that Lisa was torn ( even if she wouldn’t openly admit it) and in his heart Jack knew that although his wife was fiercely independent and incredibly strong willed, she was also equally as loyal and at times quite vulnerable.

Lisa had very little of her own family and her Aunt had always been someone she could turn too for love & support especially in the past when she was going through her difficult divorce from Dan...and given all this, Jack knew that these were the reasons why he had to support Lisa’s trip abroad and keep his own feelings under control.

Jack would openly admit that he would miss Lisa like ‘crazy’ .

He felt somewhat selfish wanting to keep her to himself, having shared her with so many overseas trips in the past there were too many to mention.

He knew the all to familiar ache he would hold in his heart until her return; however what he also knew is that if he let his guard down even slightly it would break Lisa’s {already torn heart} and that was the last thing he wanted to do....

He would just enjoy their last evening before she left and deal with the rest when he had too....

Lisa subtly wiped away a tear as she felt Jacks strong hands rest on her shoulders...

‘It’s okay Lise, I get why you need to go’....

She turned and burrowed her face deep into his soft cotton undershirt trying desperately not to cry...

‘I’ll miss you, but it will be okay. You need to go. I understand that’.

He pulled away slightly so he could look into Lisa’s eyes

‘I’ll be here waiting for you when you get home. Just take care of yourself please Lise...promise me that’....

Jacks voice was soft, but cracked as he spoke.

Lisa new if she looked up at her husband she would probably cry, but he held her face softly in his hands and lifted her chin gently so she could see how much he meant what he said.

‘I mean it Lise, you have my blessing to go. She is your family...and we both know how important family is’...

He continued to look deep into her eyes which had momentarily lost their usual sparkle.

It took Lisa every ounce of whatever if was she needed to not break down in Jacks arms.

She herself had been battling a war of her own over the past 48 hours...

On one hand she very much wanted to help her Aunt whom over the years had given so much valuable support to Lisa through the many ups and downs during her marriage to Dan. She loved her Aunt and she felt that she owed it to her to go...

However deep down as independent as she was and as much as traveling was once such an important part of her life, the thought of leaving Jack now was quite possibly the thing that scared Lisa the most.

They had been through so much over the years and through it all he had been her rock; and it was now more than ever that by his side was the only place she really ever wanted to be.

It was the smallest of things and the tiniest of gestures from Jack that Lisa had now become reliant on. Heartland was her home, overseas trips were almost non existent. Rarely was she away from Jack, the comfort of him by her side at night, the family all around the table for supper, these were what made this trip one that actually frightened her.

‘Thankyou’, was all Lisa could manage to begin with.

She sighed as she contemplated the best way to say how she felt whilst remaining as ‘together’ as possible.

Jack could feel her tense up as he kept his warm embrace firmly around her small frame...

He didn’t speak, he knew Lisa far to well to push. She would talk when she was ready...

They stood together at the window, just taking in each other, enjoying the unusual peace of the Heartland ranch.

It was at least 5 minutes before Lisa released herself from Jacks embrace; she stood back and looked up at his unshaven face, thick salt & pepper hair, that familiar half smile he gave her when he was unsure of what would happen next.

Never letting go of his right hand, Lisa tiptoed up and kissed him softly, his unshaven face once scratched her smooth skin...it no longer bothered her anymore.

she ‘sighed’

‘I’m sorry I have to go Jack’ her head dropped, although only briefly.

‘And I cannot thankyou enough for supporting my decision to go’, she took a small step closer to his body.

‘I’m scared though’ she continued with a nervous giggle.

Jack just listened...he squeezed Lisa’s hand that was in his and bent down to kiss her forehead.

‘I’m scared that if I don’t go and Aunt Evelyn is sick and something happens I’ll never forgive myself’ .... the next sentence was almost a whisper

‘But I’m most scared of not being with you ..and what if’

she couldn’t continue...she dare not say how she felt on the off chance that it confirm what she knew Jack worried about constantly; that she upset him, or worse still, break his heart.

She need not have worried, as her husband could read her like a book...

‘I know why your scared Lise, and I get it, but I want you to just go. Nothing will happen to me while your gone. I promise. I have the girls here to look after me’ and as he chuckled to himself

‘and now Tim here to annoy me’...

They both laughed together as Lisa leant back into his warm, comforting embrace.

‘It’s you who has always told me Lise that I’m still as fit as a man half my age, I can promise you I wont be going anywhere’. Jack tightened his hold on his wife.

‘You just go and deal with whatever it is that’s wrong with Aunt Evelyn, she is family Lise and I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back’ .

Jack could feel Lisa relax in his embrace

‘I don’t want you to worry while your away Lise, really I don’t ‘, he paused then continued in a whisper to her ear

‘I love you Lisa...I don’t know if you’ll ever know just how much’.

Jack’s voice was now becoming raspy with emotion as he had never imagined that what he was going to say would ever be how he would actually feel...

‘I love you Lise, I never thought I would ever love someone again, but watching you with my family...with our family, I only wish I hadn’t have been so pig headed earlier on’.

He went to continue but the words were slow in coming.

Lisa looked up at Jack with that all to familiar sparkle in her eyes and smiled...

‘Maybe if I hadn’t have been so stuck in my ways, such a stubborn old cowboy...perhaps ’ he paused again

‘Perhaps I could have given you the gift that you deserve more than anything else in the world Lise’.....

But before he could go any further Lisa put her index finger over his lips...

‘Shhhh’

Lisa knew what Jack meant, she had gone over in her head so many times about the “what if’s”....like what if they had married earlier?

would he have suffered his heart attack?

Would the family have been more accepting of their marriage if it had happened when he first asked her?

And more often than anything, would she have given Jack more children and indeed become a mother herself?....

As Lisa wrapped her arms tightly around Jacks neck and as she felt his warm breath against her bare skin she wished in that moment that he could take her away...to a secret place that only they knew of.

A/N A short ‘one shot’ JISA story that reflects on the fact that love has no age limit, no matter how much you fear it… As always a huge thankyou to @the-real-tc for her honesty and encouragement.

“The fear in me”

The rain fell heavily and consistantly as Lisa lay wide awake unable to find the sleep she so desperatly needed. She had gone over and over in her mind a hundred times or more about what had happened that evening in the kitchen after supper… She had tossed & turned but sleep was still somewhere far away… A sense of relief came over her when she heard Jack quietly come through the house hours after she had turned in for the night….He had taken off in his truck shortly after their argument. Why didn’t she just let it go? Why did she have to push and push? And why after all these years did their age gap still cause Jack so much concern?

Lisa was 26 years younger than Jack, an age difference that over the course of their relationship had endured much criticism. To Lisa age was only a number and something she herself had never worried about. She knew from their very first meeting that Jack Bartlett was old enough to be her father, but she couldn’t change how she had felt then, or how she felt all these years later…she loved him and although she knew he loved her…why was it that the subject always hit such a nerve with Jack?….

~ She smiled to herself as she remembered the many occasions Jack had been overcome with embaressment at her public displays of affection towards him…He was an extremely private man, but every now and then she simply couldn’t resist ~

Lisa’s love for the old rodeo legend was unlike anything she had ever felt before and regardless of his age, Jack was (as Dr Verani had stated) an extremely virile man…He was strong, with a fit muscular figure often working harder and longer days than men half his age. She could never understand why he worried so much about being so much older than her…. But now and then something would be said or a comment made and all of a sudden Jack’s concern would again become apparent…

Recently Lisa’s Aunt Evelyn had insinuated that her neice was unhappy and that Jack was not only far too old for her but that he was infact holding her back…that their marraige was something that could possibly be troubled in the future and that Lisa was nothing more than a 'glorified babysitter’ to Katie…. Aunt Evelyn’s visit still hit a raw nerve with Lisa, she knew that even though she had stood up to her auntie and had defended hers and Jacks marriage, she also knew that Jack had taken to heart what had been said and it troubled him emensely… This was Lisa’s life and she loved it…she was tired of justifying her love and attraction to a much older man … the truth was Lisa had never ever felt this happy and she was proud of the life that she and Jack shared.

Lisa knew that right from the beginning their age difference had always somewhat bothered Jack, the thought of Lisa having to 'take care of him’ one day petrified him, he couldn’t bare the thought of being a burden on his wife… But the fact that he was over two decades older than her had never worried Lisa ( something that to this day Jack couldn’t quite fully understand), she had always encouraged him, supported him and loved him unquestionably….Lisa made him feel alive again {a feeling he never thought possible after loosing his beloved Lyndy }…But more importantly Jack also knew that it was only due to his own apprehension and stubborness at allowing Lisa to care for him simply because she loved him, that was causing this division between them…. Jack knew that he had come so close to loosing Lisa forever for this very reason…and it was long over due that he tell her exactly how he felt. Lisa deserved to know what it was that worried Jack and why he felt the way he did. It was high was time that he let go of his pride and accept that above all things he loved Lisa, he needed Lisa…

Glen Campbells lyrics to an old favourite of Jack’s flashed into his mind as he thought of his wife….

~ And I need you more than want you And I love you for all time…. ~

A smile crept from under Jacks grey mustouche as he thought of the way Lisa had fussed ( whilst trying desperatly not to)…. 'She only does it because she loves me’ he sighed quietly to himself… As he padded through the house towards the bedroom Jack’s thoughts returned to earlier that evening and he paused as he thought of the harshness in his voice and his frustration that he had directed towards her….

Lisa could hear Jack as he made his way towards their bedroom…she turned on her side so he couldn’t see her tear stained face when he came through the door… She had left his bedside lamp on so he could find his way, the smaller things like light switches were proving to be more difficult with Jacks bouts of athritis and these 'finiky’ flare ups ( as he called them) were occuring more and more frequently. They caused him much discomfort and VERY often great frustration…and unfortunatly tonight was no exception.

Lisa knew she had probably gone to far at supper tonight, she had been known to be 'pushy’ at times and she knew how Jack hated a fuss, but she kept telling herself that she was only trying to help…it upset her seeing him in pain when all she wanted to do was to make things easier for him… She hoped he knew this, but she dare not attempt to discuss it again, especially not tonight…Jack was unbelievably stubborn and Lisa could tell from the harshness in his tone that this time she had gone just a little too far.

As Jack undressed and hung his days clothes on the old chair that took up the corner of their bedroom, Lisa could feel his gaze on her… She desperatly attemped to lay still so’s not to make Jack aware that she was wide awake…part of her wanted to turn over and talk…to tell him how sorry she was and that she loved him…but the apprehensive side of Lisa held her back…so she lay there, tears welling in her eyes as she squeezed them tightly shut…

'Lise’ Jack whispered apprehensively…. 'Are you awake Lise’ he came to her side of the bed and before she could answer Jack could see her eyes squeezed tightly shut, tears trickling down her already stained cheeks… 'Oh Lise, I am so sorry’ his whisper was crackled with raw emotion… It broke Jack’s heart to see her like this and as he made his way to his side of the bed his emotion took over and the words just started to flow…his voice deep and husky…

'Lise I know you can hear me, but its ok you dont need to say anything…I just need to tell you how sorry I am and why I have been acting like I have’…he paused breifly as he stood looking at the photos that adorned the huge old timber tall boy…. 'I know I am stubborn Lise, and at times almost unbearable…and for this I am truley sorry…the thing is Lise I am an old man’…he looked down into his hands…. 'And you are still so young…so much younger than me…and I know that our age difference doesn’t worry you..and to be honest,still after all these years I cant understand how thats possible’…..Jack barely took a breath as he unloaded his feelings…. Lisa had sat up quietly in bed and was watching him as he just stood there…. 'Lise I almost lost you because I didnt tell you how I felt and I promised myself that I would never be that stupid again….but the honest truth is I was frightened then and even though you are now my wife’ he paused breifly 'I am still frightened now’….his voice now only a whisper… 'I dont ever want to be a burden on you Lisa, I dont ever want to hold you back from the life you could of had simply because I am an old man and you feel that you have to take care of me’….. By now Lisa had got up and she quielty made her way over to Jack and gently wrapped her arms around his waist… His heart beat heavily as she rested her head on his warm bare back… When he eventually turned to face her, Lisa could see that he too had tear stained cheeks…he felt her soft hands touch his unshaven face… 'I’m sorry Li….. Lisa placed a finger over Jacks lips…. 'I know’ she said lovingly…. 'Jack Bartlett I know how old you are…I knew that you were old enough to be my father the first day I met you….I also knew, even back then that I loved you’…she looked up at him eyes sparkling in the dim light of the night lamp…. 'Our age difference has never worried me Jack because I see you as my one true love, not a number, not an old man…just you…the man I so desperatly wanted to marry, the man I agreed to honour and to love…In good times and in bad’… she smiled slightly as she looked him in the eye…. 'I know what reality is Jack, and oneday the time will come where I do NEED to take care of you. Its a fact of life and one that you need to accept….and I will take care of you, without hesitation when that time comes’…. There was a tone in Lisa’s voice that was matter of fact, and Jack realised in that moment that he had to let go of his fear… Lisa continued, this time her voice was soft and full of love and compassion… 'I will take care of you Jack, because for all these years, even when you havn’t realised that you are doing it…you have taken care of me’… Lisa looked away in fear of bursting into tears 'You may not see it’…she continued in between sniffles 'But you have taken care of me, have loved me and have made me feel safe more than you will ever know’….. Jacks big, rough hands held Lisa’s face tenderly as they both fought back the tears that had begun to take over… 'I dont want to have this discussion again Jack…I mean it’ Lisa bit her lip as she looked up at him… 'It is what it is, I love you and no matter what happens that wont ever change’…. 'Okay Lise…I promise’, were all Jack could manage to say….. He stood there holding lisa tight for what felt like eternity…. 'I love you too…more than you will ever know’ … Jack leant forward and kissed her gently…he could taste the saltiness of her tears…. Lisa pulled back and smiled up at Jack…

A/N A little JISA story. I wrote it after re watching the episode ‘A long shot’…I always wandered why Lisa wasn’t in this episode and if Jack would ever tell her about Claire. As always a huge thankyou to @the-real-tc for always offering me positive feedback and being my sounding board.

“The Honourable Man”

Jack couldn’t help but think about Claire’s visit, about what had happened all those years ago…he had made a decision right from the very beginning that each month he would pay a small amount of money to claire’s mother Paula…this went on for years…but never did Jack ever imagine that Claire would think he was her father. Jack had always felt a sense of responsibility for what had happened…he did what he thought was the most honourable thing he could do to help his old rodeo friends family. It was so long ago, and although it was never far from his thoughts it was something Jack had never EVER spoken about… But things were different now, Amy knew and this made him re think the secret from his past.

The morning sun shon throught the kitchen window covering the room with a warm orange glow… Lisa had slept in. She hadn’t meant too but Lou and the girls had gone away for a short break whilst Georgie & Katie were on school holidays…Heartland was so quiet you could almost hear the grass growing… As she followed her nose to the rich smell of the fresh coffee brewing, Lisa paused as she caught a glimse of Jack on the porch, coffee in hand…his gaze somewhere far away… Lisa had returned from a short trip to France 2 days previous, Lou and the girls had left for NY 3 days earlier…. She had sensed that something was playing on Jacks mind. Overall he was his normal self…but there was something ( lisa couldn’t quite put her finger on it) that was pre occupying him…but in his own time Lisa knew that Jack would share whatever it was that was bothering him… She had come to learn many things about Jack Bartlett over these past years, non more than allowing him time, never to push him but offer him the space he needed to worry, whilst always being there whenever it was that he needed her….. Jack was an intensely private man, but Lisa knew that he would open up….whenever he was ready.

'Morning honey’ lisa leant down in front of Jack as she came to join him on the verandah…she kissed him gently and sat herself down as close as she could, able to feel the warmth of his body and breath in his familiar scent…..Jack turned and kissed Lisa’s forehead… 'Morning Lise….howd you sleep?’ He turned slightly and smiled at his wife… Jack knew he needed to tell Lisa about Claire, about what happened to her father Gil that fateful day so many years ago…he knew that if anyone would understand why he had done what he had for all those years it would be Lisa.

'We had a visitor while you were in France Lise’ Jack’s voice was quiet and had a somewhat flat tone to it…. 'An old friend of mine’s daughter….hadn’t seen her since she was Katie’s age…but I knew who she was moment I laid eyes on her’…..still his tone was flat, stright to the point…. Lisa shifted on the porch pew, turning her body towards Jack….he sat head down, eyes closed…. 'Does this visitor have anything to do with why your thoughts have been a million miles away since I got home?’ , her voice too was quiet and had warmth and love in it…. 'You know me that well Lise?’ A smile snuck out from the corner of his mouth…. 'I had a feeling you could read me like a book’ he sighed…. Lisa looked at her husband for a long moment before she spoke, a millions thoughts ran through her mind….she gazed at Jack lovingly, the lines in his face that told so many stories, his grey hair, unshaven face, rough hard working calloused hands and soft eyes green eyes…. 'Whatever it is Jack, whatever went on, you can tell me…you know that’…. Jack smiled….there was something about Lisa’s voice that always made him feel at ease…she had a nack of making whatever it was he was worring about almost seem to disappear.

Jack took a deep breath…..he turned to Lisa and softy kissed her…. A long time ago Lise, back when I was on the rodeo circut there was this bull…he was a SOB that none of us could ride….and there was this rodeo and I drew his name, I was supposed to ride that bull and I didn’t…I declined…he had a dangerous track record Lise…but then my mate Gil drew that SOB’ …Jack paused for a moment.. 'and then there was an accident Lise….a fatal accident….it should have been me’…Jack could feel the backs of his eyes burning….he looked away… He felt lisa’s soft hands cup his face and turn his gaze towards hers. 'It was supposed to be me Lise’… 'I was the one who should have been riding that SOB that day!’… Jack felt all the emotions from the past suddenly start to take over, but he kept going…. 'She thought I was her father….I sent money every month to her mother, but only because I felt so guilty’… Jack suddenly lifted his eyes to meet Lisa’s… 'I’m not lise…I’m not her father’… 'I just did what I thought was the right thing, the honourable thing to do ….no one knew…not even Lyndy’ his voice now was no more than a whisper….

Lisa knew at this moment that what Jack had told her was something that he had been holding onto for a very long time. She knew that this was extremely difficult for him to talk about and that he had done the only thing he knew how to do….what he thought was right thing to do.

'I know Jack….I know you did what you thought was best…and it was the right thing to do’ Lisa lifted Jack’s chin so she could see right into his old tired eyes… 'To be honest Jack it was a pretty amazing thing for you to do for all those years’…and in an voice so full of relief and with tears welling in her eyes Lisa leant forward and whispered…'You will never know how greatful I am Jack, that you didn’t ride that bull’…she looked up at him and smiled before kissing him tenderly.

As the two of them sat together on the porch Jack continued with the story, he told Lisa how he had kept this from everyone…and how he had promised Claire’s mother Paula that in the good times and in the tough times he would support them no matter what… 'There were times when Lyndy was so angry that we had no money…but I had made a promise Lise, and you know me… I am a man of my word’…

'And all this time Lise, Claire had no idea…she didnt even know who her father was’… 'I dont know why her mother never told her?… Gil was a good man. Sure he travelled the Rodeo Circut and was away from his family…I mean we all were…but he loved Paula and Claire. She told me she found her mothers diary and saw my name in it and she just assumed it was me….she thought I was her dad’…

All this time Lisa just sat and listened…she had never known Jack to talk for so long…she wanted to hug him tight and reassure him that what he had done all those years ago was the right thing, that she knew he was the honourable man had always tried to be….but she let him go…it was important for Jack to get this off his chest, and in a strange way it made her feel closer to him.

After Jack had finished the two of them sat in silence…almost 4 decades had past since the accident and the relief that Jack felt being able to share with Lisa what had happened all those years ago was something he never imagined possible…

'Thanks Lise’….Jack finally spoke after a lenghthy silence… 'You dont need to thank me Jack’…she looked accross at him and smiled, eyes sparkling in the sunshine…. 'Jack I know I wasn’t there when this all happened, but I am here now, and I love you’….her right hand gently rested over jacks shoulder… 'I know the type of man you are, the type of man you have always tried to be…thats one of the main reasons I fell in love with you. You did the right thing Jack, Amy knows that and so do I’….. Lisa rested her head on his back, she could here his heart beating strongly beneath his plaid shirt…. 'And now’ she continued… 'Now Claire knows who her real father was, what really happened and most importantly that her father loved her’….

Jack turned to face Lisa… The way in which she made him feel was something he could never quite find enough words to describe…no one ever in his life had made Jack feel like Lisa did…she loved him unconditionally…she was his offsider, his rock, his lover & his best friend.

'I dont know what I would do without you Lise, I should have told you about this a long time ago…and I’m sorry. I can’t tell you how much better I feel now having shared this with you… I dont know how on earth I managed to get this lucky’….a broad smile came from underneath Jacks mustache… 'I think I’m the lucky one Jack’ Lisa’s face lit up with her trademark beautiful smile…. 'A man who will take care of his friends family, provide for another mans child whilst taking care of his own…Jack Bartlett you are the most decent man I have ever met and you will never know just how proud I am to be your wife’ …..