sheriffshrimp

i hope im not just a mutual to you but also a really annoying stranger who is somehow always going through something

I've always thought it's too bad that disco is the only kind of dance that comes with an artifact. It's compelling that disco has a Ball. I want to know what secrets will be revealed if I gaze into it. There should be a hip-hop Cube. A ballroom Amulet. A swing Diadem.

Look if a garment is like. Wool or silk. And it’s like, don’t put me in the fucking wash. I’m like yeah of course ma’am I shall lightly dab you with a damp cloth and air you out so you don’t get stinky. But when a polyester garment is like “hand wash only” I’m like who the FUCK do you think you are. You’re plastic. Get in the drum.

The whole reason anyone let you be plastic is so you could go in the wash. If you're gonna pull this shit then what's even the point.

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made

In your 20s, you'll feel like you're losing the race. It's important to understand that there is no race.

why is it sooo hard to conclude essays. I said all that because fuck you thats why

everyone needs to grow the fuck up and start playing pretend with toys

this is another one of those posts that gets tags like “i know this is a joke but…” and i understand why but i have to once again stress i have never been more serious