kattstaymad

You were pretty pissed at first. You fully believed that you've done nothing wrong and that you'd actually recover all completely on your own.

You hate how eyes would go around you filled with pity and remorse. You turned out this way. A “stupid addict” who knows nothing but sabotage. They're honestly very much overreacting. You just like getting high but you’re not out there hanging out with thugs and doing crime. You wanted to be viewed as more than your addictions that you were so sure of getting over, always starting tomorrow then tomorrow— until it never comes.

Your family was nothing short of disappointed finding out just what you were doing. It made them feel like they failed as parents that they overlooked the fact that you could've possibly suffered like this. But of course, it's too good to be true that they'll actually act right for once and actually give you the most basic of human empathy. They had to lecture you on finding “God” every day since the start of your summer break thinking that this would definitely send you back to the right path if you let him in your life again.

As dense as they are, out of their character they did figure out that it has no effect on you. It's partially their fault, neglectful yet aggressive. All in the name of love.

One thing led to another, you now find yourself in a Christian boarding school over your summer vacation where you'd spend your time recovering and restraining yourself instead of having your freedom in the comfort of your hometown.

Being surrounded with an overstimulating and unfamiliar environment is one thing, but not having the sole thing that helped you cope through it all just to not freak out on your first day is another.

At least it was a bit simple.

Days seem to never end inside this little boarding school despite how everything operated.

The school? Almost like a church. The only thing differentiating it from one is from the numbers of buildings, it makes you wonder how it's all funded. Although it is ran down and old, “cheap” is not a word to describe it.

It's weathered down to its state to be in the middle of nowhere. A forest surrounded by tall trees and a nearby lake. It would take 20 minutes alone to even drive through the road that goes back to a town closer to humanity. Veins and weed pricks through its buildings and pathways.

Being there seemed easy enough. It almost felt freeing being in a new environment away from your little household that burns vast in your mind. Despite being a person who couldn't care less at all about religion and spirituality, you didn't care either to listen to 2 hours of bible study every day. You really just wanted out of that house. You didn't care for it at all.

What do you do everyday? Morning, communal breakfast in the dining hall, male and female at two separate tables that were almost as long as the room. Right after eating it goes straight into bible study inside the chapel. Once again, male and female at separated benches. To no surprise anyways, it's a Christian Boarding School. Religion runs from its foundation of conservative views and the patriarchy. You proudly believe that at least half of the people here got sent for being some crazed out sex addicts, well you aren't any better. Not that you were judging, who are you to?

By the time it's noon, it's just free time. Most hang out at the grass field. Some with picnic blankets eating, some on the trees or the treehouse, and most at the tracks playing sports. Others who aren't in the outdoor areas are inside the buildings in their respective dorms sleeping, fucking maybe, it's easy to. The division between the male and female gender while being paired with the same sex at times….Backfired at the system set up. Dozens of homosexuals are here forcefully as a form of conversion camp. Then they get partnered with the same sex they're attracted to, who goes through the same shit, it's funny and ironic really. But not only the gays can do it, straights can do it as much as they want to also with how many unsupervised vacant spaces there are all around the building. Then there's those, a selective few who actually study in the lecture hall to get the highest marks. As if grades in a vacation bible school mattered.

Not everyone here was sent from different parts of the world for specific odd reasons, but most are. But there are some of those who do go to this school as their sole form of education in this small town.

But it really isn't too bad. As a skeptic at heart there are some good people here and you full heartedly believe that.

And that was one of the worst mistakes you made ever since stepping in here.

Aside from good girl friends who're here for the same reason as you or came from an environment not to judge, and some religious girls who are actually in terms of being good christians and are just here for the love of the game— it made you too trusting.

Everyone here is so different. Different stories, secrets, sins, and battles. Some face them, some start them.

And some get completely trampled without a wit to fight.

You should have known better.

Coming from your background of a borderline abusive family due to neglect and bigotry, stupid friends who are bad influences, you've gone through so much yet still don't know better whether you should trust someone or not. You trust anyone who shows you an ounce of validation or reassurance just with the standards of them not disliking you.

It's just as easy as that, you're an easy target.

There are those like you who are sent here because they are hurting themselves with self destructing habits and addictions, while there are those who are here because they hurt others. That's their guilty pleasure. What they get off too.

And there he was.

Starry ocean-blue eyes, blond-haired, pink-flushed, gentle and quiet danger.

You wouldn't have suspected it, wouldn't even have thought about it.

Out of everyone he looked so, Christian? What does that even mean? But there was a look of innocence on him, but deep down in your guts something felt off.

It was a mistake to spare a glance. An ounce of interest. The earthly desire of attention and the feel to be needed. To be wanted.

Your chin tilted on your rolled palm, eyes drifting to a man you've been seeing more lately. The lecture was boring you to death. He seemed a little older than most of the people here, part of the senior class who's been here longer and are residents in the town. As if he had a sixth sense he hazily shifted his eyes from the pastor to you on the other side. You were just next to each other, just on opposite sides with a space between. So close yet so far.

You immediately look away with a hint of embarrassment hidden from your facade of seeming aloof.

He rests his eyes before redirecting his sight away from you too, back to the Pastor.

Everything was coming in one ear and coming out the other. You'd very much rather sleep in your dorm right now or do anything else that isn't sitting here writing notes on the symbolism behind Jonah getting eaten by a whale. You're smart, but it isn't rocket science to understand this simple symbolism.

Your brain reactivates with a slight boost of excitement when your friend passes a note towards you sneakily. It showed through the sudden flash of glint in your eyes. You badly needed to be entertained.

“This is so boring."

You wheeze a bit holding it in. You exalt a relieved sigh that you won't have to painstakingly sit through this lecture raw. You take a new sticky note from your stationeries and write your response down with your pen. You pass it to your friend.

“This lecture makes me want to cut my nape off.”

She rolls her eyes and rips a new piece of paper and writes again passing it to you.

"Exactly! Anyways, find anyone cute?”

You gulp for a second as if you're actually considering someone or anyone. You discretely look around from your side, the girls are cute and all but you can't exactly fit all of them in a tiny little note.

You sigh and rotate your head slowly to the other side of the chapel where the male creatures are. Except you didn't bother to look around as intently as you did with the women. Deep down you knew that you had an answer, a person in mind. Even if you block it out, it’ll pave through your thoughts anyway as you resist. You just looked at him without a thought. But he was already looking at you. With a bored stiff look. Eyes sharp under the glinting shine of the sun through the tinted window of Mother Mary, arraying various colors on his pale skin clearly. It was an artistic view without intention.

His eyes remained glued on you even if you already looked away. Ah geez.

You hastily write and slide it to your friend secretly.

“That blonde guy is pretty cute idk.”

She stealthily looks at you as a cover up when you were actually blurry in her eyes, she was focusing on that guy. She finds him immediately with terrifying speed. Your friend puts her hands on her mouth to detain herself from bursting out of laughter as she writes on the remaining spaces on the back.

“Him?”

She whispered. Probably had to take an enormous amount of self control to not point at him exposing you out.

“So your type are nerds. No shame though. Would you fuck him?”

Reading that note your eyes slightly widened as you sharply turn to her mouthing “What the fuck?”. You hastily write your response until you've been cut off.

“And that is why we must put our faith and trust in our Loving God even with doubts as he will return to put his strength and wisdom in us. That is all children. Proceed in your free time as you may.”

You stare up blankly as everyone scurries to leave the room, especially your friend who looked like she was free from the shackles of misery in a somewhat ordered manner as if the etiquette training actually worked. You scoot through the pew and messily put your stuff in your shoulder bag as you walk out the chapel.

You and Armin were at the very back causing you to be the last two to leave from the group. He follows behind as he watches you intently. Your disoriented way of putting your things away causes the note you failed to pass to your friend earlier to fall on the floor without you noticing in oblivion. But Armin does. You were so messy, a complete opposite of the organized freak he is.

He stops on his tracks, his eyes following the motion of it hitting the ground mundanely. You didn't know such things were happening as you walked through the narthex exit. Shouldn't be a big deal, what could actually possibly happen just for this minor slip up?

After a few seconds of looking at the piece of paper on the floor as if he was already calculating it all in his mind on what he'd do and what that would lead to, he leans and bends down on one knee picking it up. He stands up looking at the note with peculiar interest and back at your minimizing figure as you continue to walk off from sight. His eyes couldn't help but wander to the way your ass sways as you walk. He didn't give any effort to resist the temptation.

He slyly puts the note in his pocket and walks out normally, completely unfazed.

What he didn't realize is that you secretly followed him. You followed him shortly after he walked out the chapel so you wouldn't have realized that he has your note. You didn't have any ill intention or anything, you were just curious to justify your reasoning of being interested in him. It feels stupid actually because it looks disgraceful to stalk a boy all the way into his dorm— especially in a Christian School. But you weren't a total creep, you just tailed him until he entered his dorm unbeknownst of your presence, and you left shortly after.

Looking back, it's totally weirdo behavior, even for you. You didn't feel regret, just confusion on why you did that. But one thing for sure, you felt a thrill following him. Something you haven't felt since being clean for a few days. It felt so wrong and iniquitous. And you felt so much shame and guilt on your way back, he's just a poor boy who accidentally stumbled in your unfortunate interest, or so you thought. But your curiosity ached through your muscles as if they were gonna move on their own if you weren't. You had to or else it would've driven you crazy.

By nightfall, everyone was in their respective dorms. Including you and Armin which you have clearly seen for yourself. He waited until he was in the relief of his dorm where he's in pure solitude with nobody to bother him. His roommate Eren is out racing Mikasa in the track field in these hours as he anticipated, leaving him to be alone— free to do whatever his heart desires.

Using the glasses on his bedside to see better, he gently unfolds the note with unnecessary precision.

“Exactly! Anyways, find anyone cute?”

“That blonde guy is pretty cute idk.”

“So your type are nerds. No shame though. Would you fuck him?”

…..

His eyes wander down to the response no one has seen but you— and now him. His fingers tapping on his knees bouncing in anticipation.

“I get why you've been sent here twice. Idk. If I get the chance then why not. He's too intimidating though, but fuck it sure.”

When he picked up your silly note, he was 50% sure that this is what he'd see. The other half about typical girl drama or scandal that he can use as some form of blackmail if ever.

You'd fuck him?

He's Intimidating?

He thought to himself. He analyzes the note and then reflects on himself, what could've possibly caused you to think such crude ideas? You barely even knew the guy. But he can't help but have his moment of pride that someone actually took interest in him.

Armin isn't an idiot though, he can read people from a mile away. He knows that some girls do fancy him. Notice how they walk past by him too many times to pass as a coincidence, how they always drop their handkerchief expecting him to pick it up. It's completely outdated and not effective. Seriously, just because this is an old school doesn't mean we have to do it old school too.

If this happens so much, then why didn't he see you as just another girl who likes him? So what? Big deal?

If he's being completely honest with himself, it's out of character. He had never put importance in romantic relationships. Not being a prude, but in a literal way that he does not feel like he's capable of what others do. He's a great friend, but a lover? He has never indulged in that thought because he doesn't think of it. It's irrelevant. For someone like him that is.

But how do we even begin to describe Armin Arlert? He's exceptional, that's a word to describe him for sure. For one, he seems to be a scarily flawless being. Not in terms of being perfect appearance wise, he's handsome and charming that's certain. But everything he does outweighs his looks. His looks are the least interesting thing about him. The way he is composed as a whole. He's so collected. He's the top student in every lecture, and that causes some rivalry with competitive and religious students. But what's even more compelling is that he isn't even religious. He doesn't have to try, it's as if he just learns the opposite of his ideals and beliefs so he could counter and contradict them more efficiently and accurately.

He's extremely calculated, he plans and organizes everything ahead. He already knows what he'd do in the next 5 years. He takes special care of himself more than most do with ordinary routines like body or health care, and material things— whatever he brings to the table it's always organized, literally. Books categorized by chronology, notes ordered by class, money in different funds and are masterfully budgeted, clothes already in pairs for different occasions hung delicately in his closet that's expertly arranged.

It almost feels inhumane, he looks uncanny next to others. He stands out with how ordered he is. Yet it seems no one barely knows a thing about him despite being here for a month longer than most of the students here including you. It's to no surprise it's because everyone is intimidated by him, and that's something he doesn't exactly understand.

Or so everyone thought.

Armin is a bit of a teacher's pet, but that's no secret. At least the envious bunch redirects ideas to completely different motives from his own reasoning on why he makes connections. Armin already knows there's a by pair project scheduled for today.

He skips breakfast at the commune so he'd “help” the Pastor write down names that would be picked randomly. He's the teacher's assistant after all. He does his task either way so it's justified he's rewarded a bit. He's left alone to it writing down surnames on pieces of papers that'll be drawn without certainty.

It's contradicting, he's a man who adores certainty and fixed concepts. Which is why he doesn't believe in a God, it's too uncertain. He understands that people cannot come to terms with accepting a complex world that most conscious minds cannot comprehend, so they created a God, an omniscient being as a simple answer to the inevitable uncertainty that Armin has already accepted. An Idea much greater than him and the universe.

Which is why some of us cheat in life, is it wrong? Do consequences exist in a power hungry world forsaken by a God they fool themselves to believe in? What exactly crosses the lines of morality? Will it even matter? And that's exactly what Armin crossed. He writes your name down with deeper care in his calligraphy than the others. His and your name was the last he had written. He puts the rest of the students' names inside the bowl but stalls yours. He folds his paper with his name into yours, interlocking them, being the only certainty amidst the uncertain chances. He was so curious about you.

He looks up to the grandfather clock on the side of the altar and sees that breakfast ends and classes start soon, just as he calculated. He stretches his arms and stands up yawning as he walks his way back to his pew seating arrangement. Seconds after the class try-hards come in earlier than most but silently scoff to see Armin already there. It's a one-sided rivalry.

Minutes after, the grandfather clocks bell chimes.

8:00 am

Students swarm in, conversation overlapping one another. Armin watches intently, locking his eyes down to see you amongst the crowd. He thinks it's cute how you managed to sneak in make-up in this conservative place. Your lips tinted and glossed in an unnatural way, your eyelashes too wispy than they should be. He isn't trying to be cocky though, he genuinely thinks you're pretty and that you're not trying to impress anyone but yourself. Well maybe he can wonder a bit about why you're more put together now than yesterday.

He notices how you're avoiding eye contact with him, the complete opposite of him with how he's eyeing you shamelessly. His eyes shift to the altar as the Pastor makes his way up to lead the morning prayer that's longer than it really should be. Armin personally thinks that if there was a God he'd also be bored to death and that simple acknowledgement of it would suffice. But this is one of the rare instances where he doesn't wanna dwell into complicated topics. He's too focused on you. Not that he immediately liked you, just mortal curiosity.

As he anticipated, the pastor states a by pair project. A simple presentation with a simple concept set up.

“What is a “God” to you?”

Armin could probably write a thesis all by himself about it in his sleep despite not believing in one, he's just simply a nerd like that. Even if he didn't pull a trick to get you earlier, if it was still based randomly it wouldn't matter— he'd probably do all the work himself no matter who he got paired with.

But this time, he wants to know you. What would you bring to the table? What do you believe in? Will you surprise him? Will his curiosity be fed? Will his particular interest in you be justified with your character?

The pastor starts calling out names by pairs one by one. Armin anticipates with an uninterested and impatient look, awaiting you and him to be paired with certainty. Soon enough, the Pastor calls your name, then his. A slight grin forms in his face before he controls his facial expression and puts on his poker face.

He turns to look at you, you reacted differently this time. You finally faced him with acknowledgement. You smiled back awkwardly. Were you really just shy? Or were you forced to finally look at him just because you were paired with him by “coincidence”?

The pastor dismisses everyone early without any lectures so they can focus on the activity on hand. Some stayed in their places with their partner to work, some left to do so in other areas, while others didn't bother at all and just left.

To Armin's slight surprise, you approached first. Your figure standing before him with timidness shown from the way your body shakes slightly, you weren't so timid in your writings, or when you were borderline stalking him. Yet your firm voice goes against your nervous body movements.

“Hey, Arlert right? Glad to be partners. I hope I won't be a dead weight to you.”

You appeared awkward towards him. You won't be for long though. He smiles softly at you.

“Pft. Don't worry, I've seen you answer recitations with precision. I might be the one who'll hold you back. And just call me Armin, calling me by my surname makes me feel like I'm old.”

He's right, he'll hold you back. But not now, but later on.

“Armin? Cool name yeah let's stick with that. Sooo, would you like to move places or stay here?”

He thinks thoroughly, even though he already planned and calculated everything last night and this morning.

“We can go to the tables in the grass area, but if it gets annoyingly windy….We can go to my dorm.”

He suggested with a genuine look in his face. It doesn't help that he looks so innocent. And it also doesn't help that you've already been there also. Your mind slightly drifts to that moment behind your deceiving eyes.

“Fine by me, wherever you're comfortable. I can adjust.”

He stands up insinuating that you two start walking together.

“You can adjust huh? Don't you think it's a bit unfair that you're the only one doing that?”

He asks not out of concern but intent to learn about your character.

“Unfair? It's nothing serious though…Are you calling me a people pleaser?”

He tries to predict what tone you expressed that in. Were you genuinely asking or were you accusing him?

“My bad. I didn't mean to insinuate anything. I just wanted to make sure if the location is really okay with you.”

His words make you feel a little bad. Why did you even put it that way? You punch yourself mentally in the gut. He was just concerned.

“I'm sorry. Didn't mean to put it that way. I got defensive for no reason lol.”

So you're the apologetic type. You probably say sorry when someone tells you to stop saying sorry, apologize even when the other party is wrong. Armin keeps this in mind.

“It's fine. You must've been through a lot to react that way. But I hope that you can put that aside as we work together, I won't bite.”

You sigh out of relief and smile.

“Sorry again. I barely got any rest last night.”

“Why's that?”

Because you were borderline stalking him all the way to his dorm and had to contemplate your actions all night to the point you couldn't even close your eyes without the guilt opening up your eyelids back to wake up relentlessly.

“Oh well. I just have a hard time sleeping at night. You know the term night owl?”

Of course he does, he finds it funny though. He may not keep up with trends much but he's painfully aware of modern terms.

“I guess we're the opposite then. I'm an early bird, I get up before the sun does.”

He chuckles at himself.

“Oh, that's….not surprising?”

You chuckle with him.

“Why are you here by the way? To make it clear I'm not saying it in a "why are you still here” way but in a "are you here by choice or not” way— and why?”

You were more straightforward now, dropping a bit of the formalities. But he loved answering questions, which he thinks people find a little unusual.

“Direct huh? I'm from a town not that far from here, people my age get sent here for some organization upheld. I'm not completely forced though. I like learning. I'm not religious, but knowledge is a man's greatest strength personally. Much more powerful than physical strength. I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to learn more about other people's world, it compels me to see if my views are correct, to see flaws clearer in others beliefs. Thinking deeply, tactically, and calculatively is a skill I harbor and wish to expand. What better catalyst than a school even if it is based on theology and religion? An old standing and living proof of history despite inaccuracy. Aaand my friends are here so I kind of just follow wherever they go.”

You're left speechless. He didn't even stutter. It seemed straight from the heart. Walking with him feels like walking with Plato himself reincarnated in a cute blonde boy's body. Although you funnily believe that Plato was a twink philosopher. His response might have made others feel he was off-putting with how thought out and serious it was, but it genuinely just piqued your interest in him even more.

“Well wow.”

That's all you had to say. That reassuring flash of gleam flickering on your pupils was all that Armin needed. A validating gesture of curiosity and interest. His blood gushes in his already flushed cheeks and ears. He twitches a smile out of complete satisfaction.

“You’ve asked a lot of questions lately, so I think I deserve a turn. Why are you here, Y/N?”

You stare blankly at him. Unlike Armin, he can compose a well thought response in less than a second. But you? You have to put 2 + 2 on a calculator just to be sure.

“Well…”

You might as well blabber. He has, you should take it as a sign that it's only fair he gets a fair slice of you after having a slice of him.

“I'm really out of town from here, it's weird really because there are bible schools closer to my hometown but my parents chose to send me off this far. Maybe because they're scared I'd run away. I'm not bad though I promise! I just had some trouble with being sober because I was in a very rough place in a very rough time. But I don't dislike being here. I've met cool people, like you, sooo.”

Was that too far? Too forward? You don't wanna know. You stare at the floor as you continue walking, it makes it worse that Armin isn't saying anything. You stop on your tracks and fight the heavy weight of your body stopping you from turning around to see the probably weirded out look of Armin. But he's just there, smiling still and stiff.

After moments of excruciating silence, he parts his pink lips softly.

“Sorry for changing the topic, but how do you know where my dorm is?”

Your eyes widen with the massive slip up you didn't even realize you gave way to happen. You turn around and see that you stopped exactly to where his dorm was even though Armin wasn't leading you somewhere anymore, it was just you walking in front of him yet still knew where to stop. He stood still since you started your response to his former question as you kept walking forward after him yet still knew where to stop— all because of that one night you followed him. Your mind wanders through reasonings you can explain as your heart palpitates, all your thoughts have been cut off to the gentle voice of Armin.

“You must have very good intuition.”

He adds. Dismissing his own suspicion before you did.

“Oh no. Pure coincidence and luck.”

You chuckle through the sweat building up on your palms. You didn't know if you should be relieved or scared of how badly that could've ended up. He is smart, it's terrifying. It gave you a short dilemma with yourself, were you scared of getting caught or getting away with your sin?

But he already knew. He knew the moment he intentionally fell behind, he had a hunch, a gut feeling, a hypothesis he wanted to prove with calculation. He thought it's cute really. He sensed it during that day.

“Well back to you, I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell such a personal story.”

He jangles through his keys to unlock the door. It's a small detail you noticed but his keys are the only unorganized thing he has. The door makes a creaking sound as it opens. He holds it by the doorknob behind it gesturing you to go first.

“After you?”

You politely go inside the door slightly ducking even though there's no need to.

You couldn't help but look around and admire the interior. His dorm looks completely different from yours. His side is neat. The bed is made assuming he does so without fail every morning—even his study desk is clean with the chairs up and no scratches to be seen anywhere. You're weirdly relieved to see the room on his roommate's side which isn't even messy, it's moderately clean with only a jacket hanging on the bed frame. But next to Armin's impossibly clean room, it clashed to look messy. It comforted you because it felt more relatable and recognizable— like it was human.

“Sorry for the mess. My roommate Eren leaves me to look after his room most of the time against my will.”

This was a mess to him?

He smiles as he removes his sweater. You sneaked a glance when the cloth was over his face to see his slight masculine figure. His white undershirt clinging tightly onto his torso creates a clear visual of what his chest would look like without it. Once he's unblinded you look down immediately pretending you're just about to take off your shoes.

Armin looks down at you kneeling down. Although he's thinking of other things he did indeed appreciate that you removed your shoes out of decency without him having to command you to.

“Nice.”

He says blandly. He hangs his sweater and moves to his desk putting the chairs down from the table. It's one of the rare instances the other chair gets used. It's usually just Armin and Armin alone at that desk.

“Thanks.”

You sit down as Armin pushes your chair closer to the desk and sits on his own.

“Let's get started then?”

Hours passed, and you're pleasantly surprised. Armin was completely different to what you have expected. You saw him as such a picture perfect guy who's always neat and reserved but he was quite the opposite. He opened up throughout the project and you mostly talked instead of actually doing anything. He has such complex ideologies that you wouldn't have thought or have agreed yourself but the way he speaks about them widens your mind landscape into vaster ideas.

The closer you got to him the clearer the mosaic of his character got bit by bit. You thought that he was perfectly clear glass, but he's stained and tainted. You had this underlying gut feeling of the darkness beneath his good boy demeanor, and it showed through his humor with how he'd sometimes slip up with a joke a sane person wouldn't utter inside a church, but you on the other hand encouraged him with how you'd genuinely burst into laughter with each addition he makes to his joke that's worse than the first. You gave him…So much validation, you looked up to him so much. From the concept of him to the real him. From when he'd be soft spoken to when he'd be unhinged with the bizarre things he says.

You went mad thinking about him. At first you weren't even as serious, you really thought that he was just some cute guy that came to mind if you were to find someone to be attracted to, but it wasn't anything extreme as you feel now. You'd find yourself finding excuses to touch him in any way. Scooting over with your thighs touching when you pretend to thoroughly look at the essay you're writing, nudging his shoulders harshly when he'd say a dark joke, and patting his head in a “friendly” manner. All these closing motions that both of you take pleasure in.

Your boundaries with each other got weaker and weaker. At times splurting out your sexual encounters from the past, but he wouldn't disclose anything about his even if you attempt to slip it out of him. A charming man like him isn't a virgin that's for sure. Despite getting to know him better throughout the weeks where you'd meet up even if it wasn't education related, Armin didn't seem to mind at all. He's still secretive about things while you're opening out like a book to him. A large difference with familiarity between the both of you.

You met up with Armin tonight in his dorm, the sisters started to suspect you more and more but you didn't really care anymore, you were recovering— with a new addiction.

You weren't fully lying, you really were there to fix your paper that both of you could've finished weeks ago, but there was a secret agreement between the two of you. An unsaid desire to stall as much as you both could just to be in each other's company.

With your shoulders touching fixated on one screen together, you grammar-check everything, finally completing your paper.

You sigh with a feeling of accomplishment reaching out subtly to Armin putting your arms around him.

“We're finally done ugh.”

He smiles softly at you.

“Mhmm. Well, can I be honest with you?”

You rotate your head to face him.

“No way, who are you and what have you done with Armin?”

He rolls his eyes playfully.

“I really enjoyed my time with you, genuinely. I could've finished this paper all by myself in one day and you know that. You knew, didn't you?”

You stare blankly at the screen for a few moments before replying.

“I knew, and I wouldn't have it any other way.”

You smile genuinely at him. You yawn tiredly.

“Welp, all this work got me drowsy. I'm gonna head out.”

By head out you mean head out to his bed, you've laid there more comfortably than he ever has. He eyes you as you bounce on the bed as you jump into it.

“Just don't be stubborn when I wake you up next time. The pastors are already suspicious as is.”

He waits for a reply until he has already met with the idea you're worn and passed out with the sound of your soft snores hitting his ears as he turns to you as a final confirmation that you have indeed, fallen asleep.

He shakes his head commending how heavy of a sleeper you were. He was a bit envious even. He wonders what it would be like to not be a light sleeper, to not have every slight sound to suddenly jolt you out of sleep every time.

But what impresses him most is how trusting you were. You've only met for a few months yet you're not a slight worried or wary as you usually are with most people. Sleeping on his bed with only the two of you there. He had you completely.

He turns to your laptop, still open. His hand lays frozen politely on the sides of it as he analyzes the screen. He sits there intensely pondering a decision he deemed morally vicious. But as his hands seem to move on his own, any self restraint left in him melted away with the heat moving through his body to his heavy palms, suddenly light weight with his absolute decision leaving no doubts left to back down now as he places them on your mouse.

He's made lots of progress knowing you innocently and typically step by step without any need to cheat his way, but he couldn't have you just by that— not yet. He needed a little push. A sudden push provoked by a malicious move. He turns again to stare at you, sure that you're completely worn as he begins to look through your laptop skillfully without needing to look at the screen.

His eyes stayed glued to your resting body, oblivious to it all. You're so trusting, and Armin is thankful for that.

He looks back to the screen, your whole life, your everything flashing whole to his wandering eyes.

He had no ill intent, he believed that. He knew he wasn't a good person, but he didn't entertain the idea that this was wrong. He just needed the certainty that he'll have you.

The certainty that all this isn't for naught, that this won't end so abruptly by a blink of an eye, he needed to be sure.

He was so certain that it's you. So sure that he hasn't felt this frustrating feeling that guts him in his stomach with anyone but you. Was it love? Infatuation? Obsession?

For once in his life, he didn't have an answer to something.

You weren't a mere academic question that could be answered by studying a book, a dilemma that could be solved with deep analysation, you were a parasite that he intentionally latched on himself.

No matter how hard he tried to calculate his feelings, he couldn't figure it out. He couldn't pinpoint what it was, it just is. There's no label, he just has to have you.

You challenge him, scare him even. You're so uncertain, unpredictable. A polar opposite of him. He's obsessed with you just because of that reason.

No one would have even known the effect you had on him. And no one would have known either that you'd be leaving in a few weeks. Your term here is based on the decision of the school if the board deems that you have been reformed up to standards to go back home according to the specific reason you were sent here. And you've been such a good girl or have been too distracted with a certain someone, a certain person who became a new addiction replacing the former one with ease that no rehab or years of vacation bible school could help you get over.

But Armin isn't ready, he's not willing to let go. Not yet, he needed more time.

He only wants what's best for you, but now he is acting selfishly. He didn't care what he would do, he'd be the knight in shining armor saving you from the fire he created himself. A false hero. But one thing for certain, whatever disaster he would create for you in the process, he'll catch you and pull you out of it.

Your friends, your family, your lovers, your experiences, your life, your everything. All from a simple run through of the stored away information, the only boundary being the screen. It was all in the hands of Innocent Armin who wouldn't hurt a fly. The perfect picture guy, Armin.

It was too easy. Like stealing candy from a child, except he was stealing whatever dignity you've had left. It would be a lie if one stated that he didn't feel bad during the process, he wouldn't want this to happen to his loved ones, which is you, his dearest— or himself in this situation. But he thought you'd understand, maybe even like that someone was deranged like this all for you. A perfect match for someone like you who stalks someone following them all the way to their dorm— the very action that enabled Armin to think that what he was doing was right.

That It was for the better.

He sighs as he looks at his doing, but he has no doubt about it. He shuts your laptop off closing the impending doom set on you, all by his dirtied hands.

He walks over towards you, bending his knees to your level on the bed resting. He softly nudges on you.

“Hey. Come on, wake up. You're gonna get in trouble being out after your curfew. You know I get stirred in the problems you create for yourself no?”

What a hypocrite.

You murmur gibberish, turning to the other side stubbornly.

He scoffs, chuckling.

“Okay get up. Where am I gonna sleep if you're laying on my bed?”

He sighs. Suddenly, his bickering stops when he finds your hand on his, just laid on top of it. Not intertwined, just comfortably laid on top as if that was the closest the both of you can push from your boundaries. Although, Armin sure bypassed it for miles.

“What are you doing?”

He gulps. Your hand prickling heat on his as soft blush peaks through his sullen cheeks. He curses at himself with how easily he got hard just from a single touch.

“Just…Lay with me. Is there anything wrong with that? Is it wrong? Armin?”

You mumble a whisper barely intelligible. He wanted to take this as a go sign, to maybe just fuck you right here and there if it ever led to it. But he didn't want everything he just did for nothing.

“Okay.”

He says sheepishly as he slides himself onto bed with unneeded caution as if he hasn't just invaded your your privacy earlier on without any thought, in fact too many of them— just the wrong ones.

He lays there awkwardly, hands on his chest tapping. Waiting for a response, a move, anything.

“I like you Armin.”

His breath hitches as those words arranged in that manner left your lips. He was scared that he was imagining things again, as if it came to life from the desires in his heart. But the way you said it, you weren't even half asleep. You said it as if you were fully awake and aware, conscious of what you've just said being an actual intention.

“Yeah?...You do?”

He gulps. He's not even being cocky, he just needs the reassurance that you're just not saying things and that he's hearing this right.

Normally, he'd think it came out of nowhere. But his thoughts are so fazed he can't articulate a proper response anymore. He knew you did, but it felt weird coming from you yourself.

“Yeah, I really like you. I was so happy to find that you enjoyed your time with me. I did too. You've helped me a lot, and you don't even know. Thank you, Armin.”

You turn your body to face him, laying in a fetal position as you cover your face with your knees.

He doesn't even know what to say anymore. He can't calculate anything, he just releases a pathetic sigh.

He reaches out his hand to tuck strands of your hair behind your ears blocking your beautiful face, illuminated by the moon light peaking through the windows.

He doesn't say anything. He just chuckles as if he was making fun of himself.

Your soft giggles hits his ears as he suddenly feels your soft lips pucker against his knuckles as you gently kiss it. The warmth of your lips only ever feeds the hunger that Armin has for you. He wants to bite you on the crook of your neck and taste the blood that runs through you, warming you, keeping you alive. Every kiss leaves him starving for more as his desire washes over him.

He pushes through just to see how far he can get away with, trailing his thumb over your plump lips before sliding it in softly through the gap slowly. The way you comply and suck on his finger sends shivers down his spine. Your mouth was so warm and wet, he'd do anything to have his cock shoved in it instead of his fingers. But he doesn't want to dirty your pretty face. You're too delicate for that. That's how he sees you, a delicate angel needing protection. But to protect you, he needed to hurt you first.

However it started or whoever initiated it, it was a blurry memory. All you could remember was both your lips pressed onto a desperate seal of needing, a silent agreement to feed into each other's longing.

Armin's hands gently glide through your waist, rubbing it as if this would be the last, which could be. If he could, he'd lock you in to stay forever— already reminiscing the moment when it's still happening.

You climb onto his lap shamelessly as your jaw slacks in preparation for his lips to press onto yours again, this time more desperate, sloppy, and a little messy. But he didn't care, no matter what mess he could possibly make of you, you'd always still look beautiful in his eyes even with drool drooping out of your mouth from being so needy.

You couldn't resist any longer, the feeling of his clothed hard cock rising as you mindlessly sat on his lap, you had to feel him— all of him. You dig your nails on Armin's back, worried it might have hurt him yet he doesn't even flinch or make a sound as you crudely grind on his cock, the friction pooling heat in your core as your clit drags against the fabric of his pants.

Armin grabs on your hips moving you onto him as he follows your motion, gasps leaving his mouth at times when you grinded too hard on him. Or when the softest yet extremely lewd moan that comes out of your pretty little mouth gets him fighting the urge to push it in, to get you on your knees and pray to God in the worst possible scenario as he stuffs your mouth to the brim with his cock and seed.

He probably could've came right there and there, but he wouldn't have forgiven himself if he came before even being inside you. His breath hitches as he forcefully grabs your hips to halt.

“Armin?”

You say his name breathlessly but confused on the sudden pause.

“Sorry, just…”

He didn't complete his sentence before his lips met yours again vigorously. Of course you do not reject his advances and wrap your shoulders around his neck as you run your fingers through his blonde hair still managing to look neat despite messing it up.

He slowly lowers you on the bed with his hand behind your head to protect it from hitting the mattress too hard.

His strong need to protect you is still present amidst his guilt of taking advantage of you.

It was a sinful contrast, your trusting eyes as he pulled down your long uniform skirt as he avoided contact behind his own deceiving eyes as if he was pitying you for being so naive. For the first time, he avoids your eyes. Out of guilt? Out of shame?

His lips trail along your neck to your collarbone softly biting on it as you unbutton his undershirt while he folds onto you, dangerously getting lower and lower onto your hips before he plays with the band of your panties.

“Can I?”

He stares at you longingly as he taps on your thighs in anticipation despite his certainty of you consenting anyways. You give off a timid nod before Armin goes straight onto work in a second after you give the go signal. He pulls your panties off of you, dark thoughts dancing around his hellish desires with how wet you were to the point your folds stick to the soft fabric translucent from your slick.

He reaches his hands out to cup your face as he moves his index and middle finger into your mouth, your tongue swirling around it in compliance. He sighs with the feeling before he removes it shortly to move his now lubricated fingers to circle motions around your clit. You let out a pathetic mix of a whimper and hitch of a breath from the contrasting feeling of his cold fingers coated by your warm saliva.

Armin soon lays his legs down to rest with his back up. He's more bold and free now, doing whatever the hell he wanted to without consideration for your sake knowing whatever he'll do you'll enjoy anyways. This shows with the way he suddenly pulls your thighs apart and placing them on his shoulders, the weight not meaning a thing with how strangely strong he is. This very action causes Armin to feel blood circulate to his already rising boner with how strings of your wetness attempt to hold onto one another after pulling your legs apart. He sucks in a breath before spitting on your cunt shortly after placing his tongue against it. Your back arches to the feeling, your mouth gapped slightly, your hands reaching onto him as if you were about to grab his hair.

He flicks his tongue back and forth, the sound so lewd it felt like it was echoing throughout the room. He pulls his free hand up to spread your folds apart for better granted access with his thumb and index— his other hands middle and ring wet from your mouth from earlier soon gently pushed in your entrance in a teasing manner before he fully rams it in you, causing your whole body to jolt.

His tongue and fingers move in perfect harmony and rhythm, each movement driving out a strained moan out of you each time. Armin would be lying if he said the way you squirm submissively against him didn't give him some power trip turn on. Despite being smart, he wasn't exactly strong compared to his other friends who could beat him to a pulp if it ever came to it. So he couldn't help but indulge a little with the feeling of dominance and assertion he had over you.

So fucking addictive.

You were so sweet, he had to resist sucking or nibbling on you at most times but he couldn't help but do so with how you enabled his behavior with every pleasure filled sound that leaves your plump lips.

He was in such a haze he had completely forgotten about everything, his sins earlier, his self control, his composition, all replaced with the speeding phase of his tongue on your clit and his fingers ramming on you simultaneously.

“Armin, wait…! I'm coming!!”

He was so lost to the point he couldn't even hear your voice thinking he was hallucinating it, your hands on his hair tugging on it, your nails digging onto his shoulders, your legs closing on his head locking him in, he couldn't sense or feel a thing— a tang of pain he should feel nowhere in his system. He could only acknowledge the way your walls tighten around him and the muffled curses of his name reaching his ears as you inevitably come undone and cum all over his mouth from your overstimulation.

Your body lays there weakly from your orgasm as Armin happily licks you clean like a dog waiting for scraps to fall, he wants to take it all in. He shakes his head back and forth, his nose wet from your slick before he leans back to catch his breath, licking his lips glossed with your wetness to get a final taste of you.

He pulls you up from your daze pulling you in for a desperate kiss, you tasting yourself on his lips.

With the strength left on your body you reach to unbuckle his belt desperately pulling it down with his pants, his cock dripping with pre-cum flinging up onto his stomach. It was so flushed and sore— aching and pulsing for your touch, your undivided attention.

You didn't have to think twice before you reached onto your cunt, transferring all of his saliva and your orgasm left on there to your hands before you trail your hand around his cock, stroking it as your index rubs along the slit of his cock.

He digs onto your hips harshly as he falls his head down onto your shoulders controlling his noises better than you have.

It didn't take long before you straddle yourself on top of him, his tip teasing your entrance as you slowly drop yourself in focusing on getting used to his thick and long length.

He plays with your hair patiently as your gummy walls surround him, every vein sucked onto you. His tip is fully inserted in you before you take him all in bouncing down onto him causing him to grunt. He shortly bounces his hips up barely covering his arousal with how freely he was moaning by now, you weren't any better though. He had to put his hand over your mouth knowing that the sisters patrol the halls around this time. You may be on your knees but you certainly weren't praying, but you were screaming for God. You feel a little bad conscious about how loud you were, Armin reads you like an open book as always with how he notices you looking away.

“It's okay, don't be embarrassed. You have the tightest cute little cunt. Just don't be so loud….Mhm?”

You wouldn't have expected him to be so crude like this with dirty talk. He surprises you more and more everyday.

He sighs before suddenly nibbling on the skin of your ears before sticking his tongue in your ear kissing it so delicately as if it were your lips. You'd be completely wrong to think that Armin wasn't experienced like this, so freaked out to the point he'd make out with your ears so tingly and sensual— a spot as sensitive as your neck. He knew from how he'd innocently whisper to you during lectures, how your body reacts by shuddering when his hot breath hits your ear, who knew he'd use these mundane actions to his advantage of his underlying motives.

“Fuck…”

He whispers your name as you freely bounce on him following his rhythms helping him reach his orgasm after he drives yours out so easily, definitely a cumming of a lifetime.

“Hold on.”

He's about to come, he's so close. But he knows better than to cum inside you, even though the thought of him breeding you stays in his mind but in his mind only the same way his seeds stay in his head.

He grips onto your hips to stop your movement, pulling you off of him in the process, a feeling of void going over you as you feel empty without him inside you.

He pulls you to the bed side gently as he takes his hand and jerks himself off as he looks at you, his eyes mainly focusing on the sweat running off of your tits. You crawl down onto the floor as he becomes more vocal before you gesture pointing to your mouth.

Armin softly nods as he looks down on you crawling closer to him, taking in his length, so long that it already hits the back of your throat. You couldn't help but gag. But that didn't stop you, nothing stopped the both of you so far. Didn't stop the both of you from fucking in a Christian Church School, didn't stop you to be a creep who stalked him, and it didn't stop him to do what he did to make you stay.

He lays back, his elbows supporting him up as he lets you do the rest. He could've sworn he almost passed out with how dizzy he got from the way your wet and warm mouth hugs him in a suffocating embrace, his hands couldn't help themselves but reach for your hair to tug on it, swirling it around making his hand a living ponytail as he uses everything in his being to only gently push you deeper onto him and not to fully ram it in you with a harsh push. You cried out, tears running down onto your cheeks and then onto his member as you thrust your mouth up and down on him.

He didn't like seeing people upset, Armin is an empath at heart. Despite that not applying when he committed a sin towards you, his usual empathy doesn't show the second time with how he thought you were even more precious when you cry. You are beautiful, but you are even prettier when you cry. The way your rosy cheeks are plumped from your tears as his cock imprints on the side. It was truly a sight to behold. A beautiful angel, your skin prickling pink from your tears is enough to make him cry himself.

The sight alone got himself carried away faster as he tenses up and shoots his load in your mouth, leaving him panting. His shaggy breaths worsens with how you swallow his cum as you lick his slit clean from any residue left or dripping out. He tasted tart, unbelievably delectable.

You pull your mouth out of him slowly, his fingers reaching in to place his thumb on your lips wiping the string of saliva connecting his cock to your mouth.

He giggles before he pulls you back to bed with your back laid against his chest. He sighs onto your shoulders nuzzling in it.

“What if your roommates walk in on us?”

You question half jokingly.

“They won't. I locked the door and kept their keys.”

He coos as he hums.

“Oh, so you were planning on fucking me this whole time? Where are they gonna sleep then?”

You retort by slapping his hand on your thigh.

He sighs before chuckling against your ears.

“Outside.”

“What?! Won't they get in trouble?!”

“Yeah.”

“You don't care?”

“I've covered for them for too long. It's time they fend off for themselves. Don't worry about it. Just…Stay like this. Okay? Until tomorrow? Just sneak out, you know.

“Tsk tsk…Fine fine.”

You roll your eyes playfully as you slowly drift onto sleep. You'd choose to be here in Armin's warm embrace and getting possibly caught later on over being alone in your dorm every time.

At last, you've justified your note. There's no regrets whatsoever, just before you leave, you finally got to taste your addiction for the last time.

That's how it ends, Armin's body pressed against you as he barely makes a noise in his sleep, still inhumane even in his sleep, the only difference is he's sleeping heavily now. Finally having a taste of what it would feel like to be in a long uninterrupted slumber. Somehow, you're not worried about how you'll get back to your dorm later on, the warm fuzzy feeling in you outweighs any anxiety that would usually override you to a panic attack.

Or so you thought.

You grow to be happier having it be your last few weeks here before you return home, still mostly hanging out with Armin and having fun time in his or your dorm when your roommates are gone. You couldn't deny that you're gonna miss the shit out of him. You'd bring him with you if you could.

You've been doing better in your lectures persuading the board on your recovery although you do consider at times to get worse again just to stay here, just to be with Armin.

But alas, here you are…Pulled in the office with only a single strand of light peaking through the blinds a day before your leave.

Mini ziplocks of drugs found in your bag, your drawers, a dealer's number conveniently stuck on your notebook you were sure weren't there before, the last record of dealing just last week. Conveniently your first sexual encounter with Armin.

Threads of mails after mails sent to your family, your parents specifically of your framed activities here.

Your parents, enraged , immediately contact the board for investigation, finding out all of these things you've been doing you swear haven't even done since your stay. You didn't even know this part of yourself, it wasn't you. You didn't have enemies, so who in their right mind would ruin your life like this?

Taboo and controversial photographs clear in Polaroid by an anonymous photographer of your violations inside the church. Every sin written in the book, you name it. But what baffled you the most is a blurry sextape of you on your laptop, you couldn't see clearly or make up of what it was or who it was, but it was obviously your figure on the screen. But there's only one suspect. A very certain one. The only person you would trust enough foolishly to get to you so close, and this is what your oblivion brings to you.

After almost 3 hours of lecturing and repentance and basically a 5 month addition to your stay you find the man himself standing in front of you leaning on the other side of the wall after walking for a while. This guy sure has some nerve to show up.

You chuckle frustrated.

“You…You…Why?”

You swear you were about to curse him out, but the feeling of sadness from betrayal was stronger than your anger. Your forgiving and sensitive nature overpowering your wrath.

He sighs as he redirects his eyes from the wooden floor to you.

“Look I'm sorr-”

A slap lands across his face before he could even complete his sentence. But it was still weak, as if you couldn't bring yourself to hurt him still even when he has. The only offense you'll ever play against him, and it doesn't even do a single thing. Doesn't grant satisfaction, vengeance, just teary eyes. But he doesn't react, doesn't grunt, he just stays the unreactive smug douchebag that he usually is.

He runs his fingers through his hair as he retreats to the room next to him, conveniently being his dorm. You scoff and follow him there.

“Seriously. What the fuck Armin?! Don't even bother lying to me anymore. This is all of your doing. Why…? I thought you liked me!’’

You tried to act tough and angry, but it couldn't be helped that everytime you get angry you tear up. You just seem like an angry kitten with their tail fluffed up.

“I did, I do. That's why I did that. I didn't want you to leave.”

You scoff at his unbelievable reasoning. He's supposed to be so smart but he acted so irrationally and stupidly.

“Oh? So your absolute solution was to go through my private information leaking and actually framing shit I didn't do to my family so I could stay? Did your humiliation kink have a field time doing that shit?”

You place your hands over your forehead.

“Could you blame me? You drew first blood. You stalked me, pretending you didn't try to get away with it. You infiltrated my life, ever since you came in it I had to have you stay. What could I do when you were about to leave?”

“Are you seriously comparing that to what YOU did? Lesser evil for goodness sake. I don't even care what my parents think or do, it's the principle. I just didn't think out of everyone it'd be you behind it all. I trusted you...”

You sigh pathetically as you uncontrollably sob unsure of what you were actually sad about. Your relationship between your family being scarred to the brink, or the fact that the person most special to you who made you feel safe did this.

Armin walks over to you.

“You can still trust me. It's super fucked up I know. But that's the last of the stupidly desperate things I'll ever do, I just needed you to stay. I can protect you, shield you, make this whole thing go away, please just stay.”

He wipes your tears away with the sleeves of his sweater.

“You caused this whole thing, Armin. God, I hate how I still can't bring myself to hate you despite it all.”

It was extremely conflicting. You wanted to cut his hand off for even daring to touch you after what he had done, but the thought of the warmth of it leaving your cheek was no good either. Why couldn't you bring yourself to hate him? Why couldn't you just push him away? Why couldn't you just run off when he pressed his lips against yours as if he still had the right to? Why did you kiss him back as any logical senses left on the instinctive curled fist of yours suddenly unfold to hold onto him instead?

You hated it. You were completely powerless against him in every sense possible. He has calculated everything, while you haven't seen a thing coming. Even if you were to defend yourself that he had framed you, everyone would side with him with the reputation and connections he's established so far, he had conditioned you to be completely smitten and obsessed to the point of this. To the point of acceptance that you are indeed weak against him. His power over you is everlasting.

His tongue reaches in to lick the tears off of your cheek, the slight saltiness waving over his taste buds before he trails kisses over your neck, licking the spot he has left last time. As he places his thumb to continue wiping your tears that he secretly was getting hard off.

“I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't want to do this to you. I wouldn't want this to happen to you if someone else were to do it.”

You couldn't help but have tears continue to stream in from his deceiving words you really tried to believe were genuine for your own sake.

“Just trust me please. I'll make it better, I'll make it up to you so much. It'll be fine. Please just stay. I'll make this whole thing go away— you know I can.”

He swiftly unbuttons your shirt out of pattern recognition as he continues on. Your hand grabbing onto his wrist halting him, then slowly dropping to your side weakly.

“There…Good Girl. Just, hear me out.”

He unbuttons your shirt fully as tugs on your bra removing it before he moves his palms to cup your breast stroking it taking out whimpers out of your mouth.

“Remember the first time we met, yeah?”

He sighs, his demeanor changing completely from apologetic to assertive.

You couldn't respond with anything but a simple nod with how fazed your mind is right now. It didn't help that Armin folded himself on you as he sucked on your nipple as he fidgeted with the other using his fingers completely leaving you speechless.

He reaches over your skirt pulling it down then to your panties pushing the fabric to the side before tossing it off as he strokes his fingers around it before using the wetness to pump his cock he popped out with his free hand.

“What is a “God” to you?”

He bends you over his desk with your back up as he teases your entrance with his tip causing you to yelp out still speechless.

He grunts as he slowly puts it in you.

“Remember that question? Well I haven't been completely honest at answering that question at all.”

You look up to the blinding ceiling light of painted angels looking down upon the both of you as he continues to get you wrapped around his cock. It felt sinful, it felt like eyes were all over you again. Eyes looked at you naked beyond skin level. Vulnerable as ever.

“So I'll be honest right now. If this is the last time I'll ever be able to be honest with you, or at all.”

He fully rams it in letting out a soft moan as he leans in on your shoulders to whisper in your ears as he slowly and steadily pulls out of you, your walls closing in on him to keep it in. He chuckles at the feeling of you being so needy.

“A God didn't mean a thing to me. That was until you came into my life. And I think…I didn't doubt the existence of one for once..For once, it felt certain.’’

He hums as he suddenly rams back in you, jolting your whole body. Causing you to claw on his desk, the first scratch on it to exist. But he didn't care at all, he had imperfections after imperfections since meeting you. He loved how he took out the flawed side of him.

“You're a God to me, Y/N. I'm so sure of that. A saving grace. Your kindness, your beauty, your everything…I want to worship the floor you step on if I could.”

He grunts as he grabs on your waist thrusting your body on him. You ascended from a poor angel he saw weak that fell from heaven to a God he'd do nothing but do everything in his power to protect and pleasure.

“You drove me to the brink of insanity. I understood how worshipping came to be. I thought it was stupid, oh so stupid. Turns out I only understood when I had someone worthy of worship.”

His words are barely audible with how your senses all became numb with how he rammed it in you. You didn't even care to hold back your moans, you had nothing left to lose. Armin made sure of that.

“You're so caring, kind, giving, you're everything a God would be. So you can hurt me all you want, bite me, cut me, curse me, I'll accept anything you hand to me with open hands.”

He sighs as he places his hands over your mouth, feeling you bite down on it unsure if it was out of defense or desire. He doesn't feel a tang of pain, even with blood pooling out. Just absolute acceptance with whatever you hand to him, like the dog he is.

“Because you're my God, my Savior. My only sense that I'm alive, a reassurance that I'm actually living, you've made me feel something I've never felt before. Something I only felt for someone like you. So flawed, so immoral, you made me feel…human.”

He nibbles on your ears as he fastens his phase digging in his fingers on your waist as you dig in your nails to the side of the desk for whatever support you can get. It wrecked you that his words were actually getting to you, that it felt so good to have that type of effect on somebody, to have someone be this insane for you.

It would be the honest truth if you were to openly say that you genuinely thought it was romantic that he went through lengths to keep you when he could've just begged like he is now.

“So please. Please, let me in. I'll do anything for you, you don't need to do anything else. Just please stay. And the rest I can turn into history.”

Your breath hitches as you look away.

“You're just being nice, Armin...”

“Nice? What part of what I did was “nice”?”

He lands a smack on your ass jittering to the movement of his cock in and out of you causing you to yelp, the slapping sounds echoing throughout the room. It was so clear now. Every noise certainly bounced through the thin walls off the building. But as you thought, it wouldn't matter anymore. Armin had already wrecked you to hit rock bottom that there's no going deeper down.

“I took advantage of your trusting nature, got you into this mess— made you a mess. I ruined you just to build you back up so I can be sure I'll be able to keep you. There's nothing nice about what I did.”

He pushes his fingers down under your stomach to feel his dick going in and out of you. A strained choke coming out of your mouth as he moves it up to play with your breasts.

“I can't help or control myself around you. It was just mortal curiosity at first but you turned out to be something more than just an interesting being. You ascended to something much more important to me. And I couldn't afford to have you leave, I think I'd be absolutely wrecked and would beat myself up forever if I let you slip away.”

Your walls tighten around him, he knows you're about to come.

“Armin, wait….!”

You reach out to stop him from thrusting into you but he holds your hands back just in time pinning both your wrists with one hand above your head.

“I want nothing but to give you pleasure, make you feel good, let my last deceiving actions be the last thing that'll hurt you. So don't hold yourself back anymore, don't let anything or anyone do.”

He says as a genuine smile spreads on his face as the last drop of tears runs over your cheeks as your back arches up as you get close.

“Your hips, your thighs, your breast, your soul, all of you…Every piece of you…And you as whole…I'll fucking worship it all till you start finally understanding why I'm so head over heels for you.”

The mix of his crudely beautiful words and his fingers reaching under your stomach to rub circles on your abused clit to the sensation of his cock ruthlessly pushing your orgasm out of you.

He chuckles at the lewd image in front of him as he chases his own orgasm now, your stiff body from overstimulation numb as he rams one final time cumming in you shortly after you did. He folds himself onto you reaching to seal both your lips in a passionate kiss as you feel his warm seed ooze inside you. Armin wasn't as careful anymore as he used to be before. He didn't care anymore, your world was his.

He wanted to mark you. He wanted to be the only devoted worshipper you had. Because nobody else would be this obscene for you but him to see you as a God. And he knew that the feeling is mutual, that you're so forgiving that you'd let him cum in you despite it all. That you wanted it as much as he did.

Everything after that felt hazy. You just remember him carrying you back to his dorm after he dressed you up again to be unsuspecting to the people out the halls. As if it wasn't already clear. But to Armin's advantage, he had a reputation. No matter what sins he might create here, it wouldn't affect him. And it was the same for you now that he had you. He would protect you, he wouldn't let a thing dare hurt you anymore, he'd cut off any other finger that dares touch you. He'll be the last thing that could ever hurt and love you.

He cleaned you thoroughly in his room. Your feelings were still conflicted, but one thing for certain— You loved Armin, and he loved you. There was no escaping that anymore. You were completely his, and he was completely yours. Both insane to be driven to this point.

And that unspoken agreement will forever be sealed in a camera you had in your bag secretly recording you and Armin's “encounter”. An eye for an eye.

And that was Armin's first mistake that he might have made so far in his life.

He should've known better.

Known better than to genuinely believe that you were a delicate angel, weak, and oblivious. When it couldn't have been farther from the truth. You were a ruthless God. And Armin loved it.

You knew better than he did despite the facade you put up that he couldn't have calculated as thoroughly as he would have with most people.

You took advantage of Armin's assured nature. That he leaves no doubts with his strategic planning. But nobody is perfect, and everything is flawed. Including his false image of you of being so easy to deceive.

You grin uncontrollably as you attempt to steadily walk back to your dorm at night looking back at him, SD card in hand with a sex tape in a seemingly innocent little disk with unsuspecting Armin in it. Much clearer to see him in than the one in your laptop. One release of it and it's bye bye Good Image of Armin.

Armin scoffs and shakes his head before chuckling to look back up at you from the floor as he smiles softly as he leans on the door. He was so stupid. It was all too simple yet he couldn't figure it out.

And just like that, he had found his match.