KatrinaRae

Bring them a blankie before they ask

Draw them a bubble bath

Grab thier hand when they are least expecting it

Put your hand on thier thigh when you are driving

Random forehead kisses

Ask about their day

Remind them that they are beautiful and you love them randomly

Bring home a stuffie or other small gift randomly

Did i mention forehead kisses?

Lay out cute pj's for them to wear

Braid or brush their hair

…you are giving them all of your decisions, and putting them in charge of your well being. You are giving them control over your mental and emotional health. You are giving them control over your body, and what you can, and can not do with it. 

So ask yourself, how well do I know this person, that I am giving them all this control, and power over me? Do I trust they are interested in working with me for my betterment? Do I trust they will respect my safeword? Do I trust they won’t suddenly ghost on me, and leave me in the lurch? Do I trust them? 

Do you trust them?

If no, then why are you considering giving them complete control over you?

If yes, then what are you waiting for?

I greeted him at the door on 4" heels, a high ponytail, and a satin apron.

He pushed me into my apartment with hungry kisses and desperate gropes.

I peeled back the layers of a long day at work: briefcase with a thud by the door and the friction of his belt through each belt loop. The buckle jingling as it fell to the floor.

He bent me over the table and thrust himself against my back and ass before unzipping and revealing his excitement to me. I ran the stiletto heel up his inseam while using the mental map of his body to guide my hands to revisit my treasure.

His mouth and hands raced to discover every spot that would make me gasp or moan. I cocked my head and squirmed in the shadow of his stature. The high ponytail danced against my skin.

He grasped my long brown tresses at the tip and recalled all the photos and videos in his wank bank of arched backs and bent necks.

He yanked so hard that he herniated C5-6. During the surgery for my artificial disc replacement, my surgeon found a bone shard 3mm from my spinal cord.

The man who whispered in my ear of how i was “marriage material” moved to Toronto 2 weeks after he damn near made me into a quadriplegic. He closed on a house the day of my surgery.

To this day, I jump when someone puts their hands near my head. My ears ring constantly. And every time I see one of you all post a photo of someone having their hair pulled, I think about all the pain one dumb, badly-executed move caused me.

1. Get consent. 2. Give warning. 3. Grab slowly and smoothly at the roots 4. Movement comes from the wrist (minimizes chance of injury to directional force) 5. If need be, let the person with the hair being pulled hold on to your wrist to either limit your movement or as a failsafe. 6. Over time develop trust with your partner to dial up neck extension, force, or speed.

here’s to gays

here’s to bisexual people

here’s to pansexual people

here’s to trans people

here’s to non binary people

here’s to asexual people

here’s to aromantic people

here’s to intersex people

here’s to demisexual people

here’s to demigirls and demiboys

here’s to demiromantic people

here’s to gender fluid people

here’s to polysexual people

here’s to lgbt+ people that are in the closet

here’s to lgbt+ people that are afraid to come out to their homophobic family and friends

here’s to lgbt+ people that are out of the closet

here’s to lgbt+ people that are still not sure what is their sexuality or what is their gender

there’s nothing wrong about you! you are all loved! you are all important! you are all beautiful! you all matter!

June 7, 2020: Morning

Shelving is what happens when a Kinkster chooses to not engage with their partner for an extended period of time, before occasionally returning to engage them. This happens most often in long distance relationships. Most of the time it’s Doms who do it to subs. When they do, it tends to program them with toxic thinking patterns. They blame themselves for not being enough to hold their attention, or account themselves too much for their partner who has to leave them for extended periods of time to get a break from their “neediness”. All those toxic thinking patterns are bullshit. There is something wrong with people who shelve others. It’s not nice or normal to treat others who offer you trust and intimacy in an offhand way. If you are in a relationship where you are being shelved, I hope you go find a partner who appreciates submission more than your shelver.

For myself, these are the things I would do to earn submission from a little/sub:

1. Get to know them - How can you possibly claim you can take care of someone and look out for their best interests, if you don’t know them well, or what their interests are?

2. Employ self control - If you’re chasing her, chances are you think she’s a doll. Show her you have mastery over your own natural inclinations and resist jumping into D/s activities until you have gotten close to what you feel is her submission, when testing that chemistry might become important.

3. Paint her a picture - Convey the philosophies behind your kink to her, and talk about what the dynamic you would like to build with her would look like. A man with a plan earns submission.

4. Build Trust - Be there when she is sad. Check in regularly. Share yourself freely. Be honest and open with her. Without trust there can be no submission. 

Here are three types of rules for Caregivers who are struggling to develop lists for their new little:

1. Rules That Establish Dominance:

These are the fun rules, and the ones that reinforce who is boss. Asking for permission to cum and letting Daddy pick out your panties each day are good examples.

2. Rules That Guide Health:

These help with physical and mental health. Eating breakfast each day, a required walk, journal writing, and required self play (good for burning calories and raising endorphins) are good examples.

3. Rules That Help With Goals:

These help make her that very best version of herself that she wants to be. Keeping her room tidy, working toward healthy eating habits, putting away money in the bank each week, and required time for studying are good examples.

**Rules may overlap into multiple areas. Required self play can help with mental health, weight loss, stress relief, sleeping habits, as well as establishing dominance. Looking at other’s rules can help you come up with your own, but by and large, rules should be tailored to serve specific littles and their unique needs. Happy rule making.