maybe this isn't the end at all

I think the biggest thing I’ve learned from the VP debate is that JD Vance doesn’t know what the VP does and also what the president does and also what Congress does

Also who the current president is, apparently

shout out to tim walz who essentially said “it’s none of my fucking business if a woman gets an abortion. but if they dont we’re making sure that kid is fed and housed and if they do we’re making sure they’re taken care of and surviving”

I need several shots of vodka after listening to JD Vance talk about reproductive rights dear god

“transgender operations on illegal immigrants in prison”’s lamer cousin “Catholic nuns are performing illegal abortions” has entered the debate

I really wish JD Vance would stop taking his mommy issues out on the rest of us

You do realize that "things the vice president is able to do" is effectively "jack shit"? Like, that's it, that's the role, it's to sit there with your thumb up your ass in case you're needed, plus idk photo ops

THE HOMES ARENT SCARCE BECAUSE OF THE BORDER ITS BECAUSE GREEDY FUCKS KEEP JACKING UP RENT YOU DUMB BITCH

Tim Walz taking notes while Vance speaks like your disappointed teacher during the presentation you didn't prepare for.

Hey do you want to hear all about the Virginia class nuclear submarine and how it can carry 12, five megaton nuclear ICBM’s with a range of 7,500 miles while traveling at 34 knots submerged and comes with our new underwater stealth and soundproofing technology? Because if you do, you’ll have to go ask Angela in accounting to tell you all about it. I’m not allowed to anymore

theres actually a federal regulation saying that 34 knots is the fastest a nuclear submarine is allowed to travel, google "rule 34 knot sub" to learn more

WHEN I AM PRESIDENT AGAIN I WILL ORDER A DRONE STRIKE ON YOUR HOUSE

Folks, they're saying I'm the most blessed under the heavens. They're saying I can't be harmed by conventional weaponry. I tell you no weapon turned against me shall prosper!

This is what I'm always saying.

WE NEVER HAD SOLAR ECLIPSES WHILE I WAS IN OFFICE, SLEEPY JOE BIDEN IS EVEN MESSING UP THE SUN

I HAVE THE BEST SOLAR ECLIPSES, JOE BIDENS SOLAR ECLIPSES ARE COMMUNIST PLOTS BY THE DEEP STATE

My lawyers told me that I need to shut up and stop violating my gag orders, so I paid myself $130,000 and signed an NDA to keep myself quiet.

Update: I have violated my own NDA and am now suing myself

Sorry your honor, but you can’t hold me in contempt until this lawsuit I filed against myself is resolved. We’re gonna have to delay the trial for a couple years