Katelyn M. Parks

Last night it happened again and he asked me how I could even hear the song. I played him the song and he went, “oh. yeah”. Then I showed him the scene. He just nodded along.

Sure. Thats a reason and as a metaphor and the knowledge that characters are used for such thoughts and imagery it works.

However, most people don't leave the magic of childhood behind forever. They grow up enough to grow back down again. "Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairytales again" - C.S. Lewis. The phrase healing your inner child is a well known phrase for a reason.

So, if that is the reason. If she had to go away so they could all grow up then I choose to believe she did fake her death because in the end to heal your inner child that magic has to come back into your life. It's different when it does, but it comes back.

Therefore Jane will come back. Maybe years later once they've established themselves as adults and she has a whole identity as another person and she has lived long enough in one spot and while traveling to know she isn't being hunted. Maybe she just never goes back to America to live. Maybe they all go and visit her abroad. Maybe she sneaks in and stays for a month and then leaves again to stay away from the government, but she does come back and they can all heal their inner child and have that magic back in their lives in a different way.

I'm new to D&D. I don't know much. My friend has been teaching me and she's the smartest person I know.

I had a theory that had been forming in my head about Mike this season based off the few things I have learned so far and I asked her some questions.

Now I will start by saying my character is not a Paladin. That is why I had to ask more questions. However, I had thought about it so I had a few bells ringing in my head during my ST rewatch before season 5. They continued for season 5. I will also say I didn't expect Byler, but I do ship Byler.

I had to double check with her that a paladin is all about devotion. They are. Their whole thing is devotion. They get their power from staying true to their oath that they have made to (usually) a deity.

Mike is a paladin. We've seen him get his power through his devotion. Specifically his devotion to his friends. Especially his devotion to El. I have adored their connection through the seasons and I have always believed that Will is Mike's favorite friend, but he does love El. He is devoted to her. I can't deny that. They're drawn together and devoted to each other. So Mike's oath of devotion was to (mostly) El. That is where he drew most of his power.

I asked my smarter than me friend if a paladin can switch their allegiances. She responded with yes, but it is a tricky process. This led me to believe that it doesn't happen very often. I asked because I wanted to see if Mike's paladin nature would let him fall in love with someone else while he was devoted to another. What I got out of her full response is it is possible, but it's tricky and it might not go well.

So Mike could have feelings for someone else, but it probably wouldn't have changed his devotion to El. He still loved her, he would stay devoted to her as long as she was with him. Could they have broken up? Sure. I thought for a while we might actually get a situation like that. I was sure that they would leave all the triangles in shambles at the end. I was right. However, their last break up didn't last very long and they do love each other so I doubt they would break up again unless something major happened, but El wouldn't look past Mike and Mike has been proven to be extra obsessed with El. He's said it himself multiple times. His devotion was solid. He kept his power because he kept his oath to El.

So, naturally, I asked my genius friend if it was possible for a deity to die or to leave the game. I asked what would happen to the paladin if they were left behind by their deity.

The answer I got back made my Byler heart very happy and was an even better response than I had anticipated. She said, Deities have canonically died in the past in D&D. Usually one of three things happen.

The paladin loses a part of their magical abilities.

The deity gives charge of their followers to a sibling/ likeminded deity who takes care of them in their absence.

A particularly loyal/powerful paladin or cleric that served the deity replaces them as a new deity to maintain balance in the world.

BOOM!

With El (sadly) gone and the paladin without his oath of devotion to his deity his devotion can shift to a certain powerful cleric sibling of the deity to take care of the follower and maintain the balance in the world.

So, I think that if Mike did have feelings for Will that he would have been ignorant to them while El was around. His oath of devotion was strong. Now that she is gone those feelings can shift to the front of his mind and eventually I do believe that his oath of devotion will follow the path his paladin nature and that he will swear a new oath of devotion to the previously mentioned powerful cleric sibling of the deity.

Will's powers became more intwined with his DNA as he used them. Every time he tapped into the hive-mind he was slightly rewritten. Eventually he didn't need to be close to tap in. Even better he started to be able to connect with El when she was near. Their magic had come from the same place. It was related in a way and it connected them even further. They became a powerful wonder twin duo. He could never do magic on his own, he had to be tapped into the hive mind and steal powers from Vecna. So when Vecna died he lost his ability to do magic. He could no longer connect to the hive mind. So, after the final battle, after losing EL, when he felt that old familiar feeling in the back of his neck he did panic for a moment and it made him think of El. He thought of how he missed her and how he wished she was near to help calm his fears. She would help him make sure it was just a random shiver. It didn't feel like before but he was worried just the same. He ignored it. Nothing bad happened. His old, cold, terrible shivers had gone. It was replaced by normal shivers but he would still think of El when he had them and wish that he could still confide in her. Sometimes he would talk to her as if she were just invisible. When Mike told him of his theory it made him feel better believing he wasn't talking to a ghost he was just venting to his sister even if she couldn't hear him.

Years pass, Will moves to NYC and becomes a relatively successful artist. Most of his works tends to lean towards the fantastical elements and is still heavily inspired by The Party and specifically El. He has peace in his heart when he thinks of her and he even trained himself to associate the random shivers with his love for his sister and now he smiles and pretends she's watching over him when he feels them. When he is working on something and a shiver happens he drops his current project to make yet another piece that frames his favorite mage in a magical glow or one that shows The Party all together.

Mike comes to visit one week. He is in town on business for his latest book. He stays with Will the whole time. One day they have a late morning and are sitting in Will's tiny apartment sharing a morning coffee and chatting when Mike gets a distant look in his eyes. Will is familiar with this look. He is thinking of El. He looked this way even when El was missing right after Will had come back from The Upside Down.

Will felt the shivers he now associated with El again and he had a thought. "Mike, do you think El can still find us in her mind?"

"Huh? Oh yeah probably. I don't think she'll reach out again but maybe."

"Sometimes I get shivers similar to the ones I used to get when Vecna was around but warmer and softer and I just had a thought what if it's my connection with El. If you're right and she did survive and she chose to keep tabs on us what if I can feel it?"

"Sometimes I feel like she's watching like when I did when she was gone the first time. I get tempted to try to find her on the radio like back then but they might be watching and I don't want them to look for her if she is out there."

"Yeah, it was just a thought because you had that look and I just felt the shivers, I can still feel them. Sometimes they last so long. I'm not afraid of them anymore I just think of her when I feel them. So if she is spying on us what would you say?"

"Oh I have so many things I want to tell her."

"Tell me. Let's pretend together that she's listening. I do it all the time and I think it's why I feel at peace when I think of her."

So they do just that. The entire time that Will feels the goosebumps on his neck Mike and Will talk as if El is sitting by them in front of the tiny couch they're crammed onto. When they wrap it up he feels them fade and tells Mike as such.

"I do feel better. Thank you Will."

"Any time Mike. I hope she is alive and at peace and spying on us from time to time even if we know she can't ever reach out."

Will doesn't let it go. He thinks of it constantly. A few months pass and he feels the feeling again. He is in his studio all alone so he leans into it as if he could still tap into the hive-mind. He doesn't see anything but he feels watched. He feels like he can feel El next to him grabbing his hand and he cries for a moment out of longing to just hug his sister one more time. He whispers to her.

"El. If this is you, if you are watching in your mind, please let me know. Don't reach out. It will never be safe. Don't pull me in. Just... Just come visit me again at this time in three days. Please."

He feels the moment pass and his had is colder. He cries for a good long while before finishing his painting of a sorcerer split between peace and deep sorrow.

Three days later he is back in Hawkins, back in the Wheelers basement. He called The Party for a game night. No D&D. No games really. Just an excuse to get them all in the same space again for his experiment. They all sit there. Will is sitting on the floor. Mike is right next to him as he tends to be these days, Dustin sits backwards in a chair and Lucas and Max on the sofa. They're in a little circle.

"So, Will, what game are we playing?" Dustin asks.

"It's more of an experiment. A few months ago when Mike was visiting me in the city we were talking about the possibility of El still spying on us from time to time. Every once in a while I get a similar feeling to when Vecna was close but different and it just feels like I'm picking up her frequency now instead. It might be wishful thinking but three days ago I felt it again. I leaned into it and I swear I could feel her. I didn't see anything but it felt like she was there holding my hand and it could just be my brain coping with her being gone but it felt so real. So, I whispered into the feeling that if it was El, to find me again at the same time in three days. I figured we could all talk to her if it is her and if I don't feel the feeling again i'll know it's not her or she just won't want to get our hopes up and be found but if she misses us like we miss her maybe, maybe this is how we stay together and apart. We can't know where she is, she can never reach out. If they know we've seen her, even in the void, they'll look for her and it will all start over again. So, lets just talk for a while and just be together for a while because the worst thing that can happen is nothing and we just spend our weekend together. It has been a while since we were all together in this basement or even just all together anywhere."

They all agree with tears in their eyes and they talk. The time draws closer to the time he guessed he felt the feeling. In the middle of Lucas telling a funny story Will feels it again. He gasps, eye going wide and as a reflex his hand holding the back of his neck. He turns to Mike and he knows. He knows it's El reaching out. El is spying on them and he can feel her standing there with them even if it's just in her void. Will cries. Mike holds him for a moment as he says, "It's her Mike. It's her. You were right. She's ok. She is still watching over us." Everyone starts to cry.

"Quickly guys! She is here. Talk to her. I'll tell you when she's gone."

Lucas and Max and Dustin start to fight over who gets to talk first Max wins and she just starts gushing to her best friend about all these things she has wanted to say. They all take turns and then they keep talking as if she's just there in the room and when Will feels her leave he tells them she's gone and they all start crying again and hugging each other.

He knows it's real. Will knows without a doubt now that his sister is alive. She is out there. She is happy. She is still a part of their lives.

So from time to time they gather to chat with her at Will's prompting or when Will feels her he tells her when the others have told him they have time to chat. It's not perfect. Will has really no way to know if it actually works, if it's actually El. The others can't feel her so they don't know if she's there when they're talking to her but they believe.

Until one day when Will actually does hear her. She never pulls him into the void. They told her to make a deal early on that she will never pull them into the void. They can never see her again but they know she checks up on them and they find a way to be ok with that. However, one day, Will hears her. She visits him while he is cleaning up his apartment for Mike to stay over again. Mike has been visiting him a lot more lately. He feels her so he stops and sits at his tiny table and he starts talking to her about how his life has been since the last time she was there. The visits are not very often once every 2 - 3 months or so. He's got a lot to share.

"I wish I could hear how you've been doing." He closes his eyes and leans into the feeling and he thinks he is getting better at either imagining her there or tapping into her frequency because he swears he can feel her sitting in the chair across from him as she reaches out to hold his hands on the table.

"I'm happy."

He startles, but quickly regains his calm. If he can hear El he doesn't want to break the spell. If he's going crazy he doesn't care.

"I'm happy." She repeats. I am happy you can hear me now. Finally. I am happy you are happy. I am happy you are loved. I am happy to have this connection. I am happy and I have a new family. You are still my favorite though. Don't tell Max."

Will laughs and he can feel her laughing to.

"I am happy Will. I am at peace. I have even found love again. He is different from Mike but he is good. You would like him. I want you to be happy. I want everyone to be happy. I need you to be happy. I need Mike to be happy. He is still sad, but I don't think it's only about me anymore. Help him be happy Will. Please be happy Will. I love you my twin. I will never leave you, not really. I do have to go now. I love you Will. Please tell the family I love them. Tell Mike. Tell him I'm ok and he can be happy without me. I will see you again, brother."

She left then.

Mike found him there, in the same spot, a couple hours later as he let himself into the apartment.

"Will? What's wrong? Has something happened?" Mike sat in the chair El had been in and held Will's hands almost the same way El had done, but he was warmer.

With tears Will told him everything that had happened. When he finished and looked back up at Mike. He wasn't surprised to see the tears but he was a little surprised to see the smile and to hear the laugh. He looked like he was hearing the answer to a question he had asked and was pleased with the answer.

Mike let go of Will's hands and went around the table to wrap him in a hug. "Thank you Will. Hey, can I stay a little longer than originally planned?"

"Yeah, of course. Stay as long as you'd like."

"You may regret saying that."

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bobby Nash, Athena Grant, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley, Howie "Chimney" Han, Firehouse 118 Crew (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Feelings Realization, Getting Together, Firehouse 118 Crew as Family (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Christopher Diaz is a Sweetheart, Eddie Diaz Comes Back from Texas (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz Comes Back from Texas (9-1-1 TV), Not Beta Read, No beta we die like evan buckley for 3 minutes and 17 seconds, Evan "Buck" Buckley and Eddie Diaz Use Their Words Summary:

“Dad. I miss Buck.” Eddie’s heart HURT. “Yeah, I do too. He’s still on shift though. Do you wanna see if you can catch him at the station?” “No, we’ve been texting, I know he is busy. I just miss his hugs and his food and just him. I miss Denny and his family, I miss Bobby and Athena, I miss my friends, I miss Maddie, Chim and Jee, I miss the 118. I miss L.A.” “I do too bud.” “Can we go visit?” A zing went through Eddie. Why hadn’t he thought of that? A visit. He’d been doing fine on the job, he could take a long weekend off. He could plan it with Buck. Get a clipboard back in his hands. They could stay with him in their old house and be around their family if only for a short while. Maybe this is what he needed. He felt giddy thinking of all the things they could do. Oh this was going to be so much fun. “Dad?” Oh yeah. He never responded. “Of course Chris. We can go visit. Why don’t you call Buck in a bit and see if there is a weekend that works for him. We can check in with Hen and see if Denny is down for a hang out at the same time.” “Awesome! Thanks Dad!”