another day on the road to paradise

I am the sea and nobody owns me.

Things I want to tell myself at 21 1. You’ve achieved so much in terms of self care and self respect but there are still some things you have to work on. Like dancing. Yes, you can get drunk and dance and you can dance alone in your room but why do you feel so restrained in front of people? 2. You have a beautiful smile. But you can’t smile genuinely in crowds. Blur them out. Crowds shouldn’t dictate how wide you smile. 3. Have more ice cream. Have double scoops of different flavours and walk around when the sun is out with sticky hands and stained lips. 4. When you’re in situations you have no control over, do not stress. There’s literally no point. Instead focus on things you can control which will indirectly have a positive impact on those tough situations you can’t directly deal with. 5. Always read the preview of a book before buying it. Always. 6. Don’t force yourself to giveaway your childhood books. Somethings you can keep for yourself even if only for occasional smiles and nostalgia. 7. Try. And don’t give up. You will have relapses. You will be doing so well and then will suddenly faulter. A day. Maybe five. But you can get back to it. You can start again. The number times you go back to something you’re trying to change, something you’re working on, strengthens your will. It’s not a sign of losing. It’s a sign that you will eventually conquer. 8. I know you just can’t understand when women are against feminism and when men and women have such a wrong idea of what feminism really is. But you can’t get so agitated. You can’t forcefully change their beliefs. 9. You would like to believe that a friend would be a certain way and your grandparents would be a certain way but just because they are supposed to be loving and available doesn’t mean they actually will. People hardly ever live up to what they should. Even if they are family. Even if they are love. 10. Save first. Then spend out of the remaining money. That’s the only way you can have your Seoul trip by 2020. 11. When you watch a movie or read a book that makes you emotional and nostalgic, texting them isn’t a wise option because they aren’t feeling the same way. It will just be another unwanted text from you. 12. You are privileged. In different ways from most but still privileged. Know your privilege. Don’t look down on others. They aren’t blessed with the same advantages as you are. 13. Let those who want to cancel plans cancel. There’s no point in meeting someone who isn’t as excited and as desirous of meeting you as you are of meeting them. Even if you are friends since 9. Even if you have a treasure trove of childhood memories with them. 14. Sometimes excuses are genuine reasons. 15. 20s isn’t the only decade you’re alive. Don’t stress yourself to achieve everything in these 10 years and don’t drive yourself insane accomplishing things you don’t even want to but believe that you should. 16. Be true to yourself. Even if that’s the only thing you will ever be.