kashmirkikali

Every accident. Every conversation. Every person I crossed paths with. Every fault I committed. Every place I left behind.

Nothing really leaves me.

That's why my mind is always crowded.

People think freedom is what I need.

It's not.

Too much freedom has never been good for someone like me.

I need a goal. A task. A mountain to climb. Something to chase.

Because the moment I stop moving, my mind starts digging.

I know myself too well for someone to tell me I'm cold, distant, or soulless.

I know exactly what I am.

I know the music I listen to. The things I love. The things I hate. The thoughts I don't say out loud.

That's why I don't trust idleness.

I force myself to stay busy. To learn. To work. To train. To exhaust myself.

Not because I'm disciplined.

Because I know what happens when I'm not.

There is a darkness in some people that isn't defeated.

Only managed.

Only contained.

This quiet, decent man you see isn't empty.

He's controlled.

A fire under concrete.

And I've spent years making sure the leash never breaks.

the reward is Forgiveness

الله

Every moment spent speaking of what does not concern you is a moment stolen from the remembrance of Allah.