Karrots

My words are falling on deaf ears since no one looks at my tumblr. I just really need a place to get my thoughts down on something that isn’t my own skin?

I just feel so unwanted. I feel like I’m not enough. I’m not doing enough for the people I care about. I barely eat. I’ve lost so much weight. But it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

Even worse, my father is refusing to get me a psychiatrist because “nothing is wrong with me and the only problem is my attitude”.

Once a year, the world has a mandatory lock down and self-isolation period. People still work from home, and those who NEED to work in other places (like restaurants) get paid leave—because I know all our politicians can afford it—and we all take a few weeks to a month to let the planet breathe. And then we go on our way.

Like.

Random person: Wow you try so hard to not be an asshole of a human being and you are always worried that you could be bothering someone. That’s so considerate! And somehow you still manage to be kinky af. How??

Me: .....

Me: *looks at family and first relationship*

Y’all why does the like button do that whole dramatic heart break thing when you unlike something? Like?? Now I feel bad cause I broke your heart.

Is anyone else the “Just There” friend?

Like the friend that doesn’t get outwardly invited anywhere unless they’re in the room while people make plans, or they make the plans first.

The friend that talks and at first people listen, but eventually gets tuned out?

The one that exits a group call or leaves a conversation, only to have no one notice?

The friend that wants to hang with someone but doesn’t make plans because they feel like they’re being annoying, and if they really wanna hang with them—why would they?—they’d reach out first?

I just really want my gf to walk into the bedroom after showering with a towel wrapped only around her waist in the butchest manner possible.