A living Catalyst

I’m sorry I wish I could rewind

This has been the worst year of my life. I’m afraid I also lived the best year of my life in 2019.

I wish so desperately I could wake up to Jan 1st and I’d love my life so differently. Please I just want a do over so badly. I’m so sorry.

I’m sad but okay

I feel alone

I finally thought I was done thinking of you. Acceptance. But now I’ve achieved everything I wanted and all I can think about is how I would give it all up just to be able to talk to you one last time.

I just want the love of my life back but I know the longer I keep calling him the love of my life I’ll never get over him. God I hate myself. Can I please go back to January 4th and tell myself not to hurt the most important person in my life.

Sad

I miss him but it doesn’t hurt as much now

I’m scared

I’m so upset. I wish I never broke up with him. I’m a fucking bitch who threw away love

I’m sorry love

I feel sick

I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love I don’t deserve love

I wanna cry and scream so badly but the only person I can think of is no longer in my life I’m so sorry

I’m so upset at myself why did I tell the love of my life I didn’t think it was working out why was I so lazy why didn’t I just make sure and why am I forcing myself to stay with someone I don’t love anymore fuck fuck I am suffocating

Stop thinking about it!!!! It’s only going to hurt you more!!!! It’s been 7 months excactly. stop thinking he’s the love of your life because then you’ll never move on.... but I feel like it was such a mistake. Fuck