small time kamu

the 17th century was called ‘the golden age of piracy’ and now that i’m reading about it it’s really not surprising that piracy appealed to so many people

some of yall have never read an abandoned fanfic that stopped on a cliff hanger and it really shows

Some of you have never WRITTEN that abandoned fanfic and felt the guilt for the rest of your days, and it really shows. :p

Fanfiction, specifically AU fanfiction which focuses on retelling the same story in a different setting, under different constraints, or with a twist, is actually a cultural successor to the ancient bardic tradition of taking long-loved and long-told stories and retelling them with a personal flourish. Through the practice of adding details to unexplored scenes, bringing a specific character to the forefront and constructing sequels, the content-creating fandom that is keeping the ‘epics’ alive through transformative works is reflective and hereditary to the human need to preserve the stories which are dear to us and connect with them on a personal level. In this essay I will

Maybe the gayest reaction I’ve ever had to something was when I was like 14 and reading ‘Twilight’ for the first time, and when Bella first said she was in love with Edward I was like, “what the fuck. Since when? He’s your friend.” I legit thought she was interested in him out of like,,,,,,, professional curiosity smh

I’m gonna write ‘Twilight’ fanfic in which Bella is a lesbian and Edward is gay, and they’re best human/vampire mates who solve murders together. I’m going to change all the character names and publish it under the title ‘Blood Buddies’.

Edward couldn’t bottom to a human bc his marble asshole would crush weak human dick

The reason Edward is so depressed is bc he’s a twink who’s been forced to top for 200 years

until I unlocked the ability to eat with full health I just ran around letting people beat me up a bit so I could eat more noodles and hamburgers

Oh in Yakuza I just figured you were out there living your worst life.

vampires don't need to bathe because they can't sweat or anything but they absolutely get dirty from running through the woods all day. so whenever that happens carlisle lines all the kids up outside and absolutely blasts the shit out of them with the pressure washer like he's trying to get mud off a car

the marble skin ensures they don’t get hurt or anything, but once or twice Alice wasn’t paying attention and didn’t plant her feet and her little body got blown right into a tree

Emmett tries to bite at the water like a dog with a garden hose

The twilight fandom has aged like a fine wine.

anybody else a fan of these rlly niche oneshot fics that r simultaneously a little moody and angsty while being exceptionally tender and sexy. they’re always like 20k words and absolutely nothing happens plot wise except feelings stuff. and they always have a title (like this)