Making today last longer

We tried at least. I cant help but see it as: You'd rather risk losing me for forever than to handle and cope with the pain of the distance. I know thats not fair to simplify it to that but Im struggling with feeling like im expendable. Im struggling with feeling like im not worth giving something up for. Im struggling with today. With the day that you might have needed silence but all i ask is that you say that. A simple "i want to put my phone down and step way from it today" so i dont fear that something happened to you. I ask that you treat me the way you want to be treated.

Why do the hardest days have to be days that you cant talk? I just want to hear your voice. Have you use your words to know it will be fine but damn for all my insecurities crashing down on me, distance and the sense of loneliness for smothering me. Im either just super stressed or im getting a taste of depression. Maybe even both but fuck this. Thankfully i have enough drive to change me for the better, for my own future