mechanical angel

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

Tolkien is having his first ever egg. It’s. Not going well.

TOLKIEN IS A SNAKE. HES MY SNAKE. MY PET SNAKE. AUTHOR JOLKIEN ROLKIEN ROLKIEN TOLKIEN IS NOT BIRTHING AN EGG

(via @rockpapertheodore) #oh noooo i'm so hungryyyy if you don't feed me i might just have to eat this cabllllle#oh noooo i'm am eating the it oh nOOoooo#i am so starving and so hungry that i am eating your very important phone cable you don't want me to eat i am so sorry if only i had been h

Love love love characters that present themselves as emotionally open social butterflies but the more you see of them the more obvious it is that they’re the most closed off fuckers in the story. Sure, they want to help you with your personal problems and messy emotions, but if you turn that shit back on them, they’ll shut down or deflect every time. Why are you sticking your nose in their business anyway? It’s not like it matters. They’re not a person, they’re just a role being played. They’re the guy who fixes things and saves people. Please ignore the man behind the mask, he’s fine. Everything’s fine.

whenever the "is fictional child porn harmful" debate comes up i think about the time a sexologist who specializes in pedophilia did an AMA on reddit and someone asked him that and he was like "yes absolutely. it shouldnt exist"