in love with the impossible

Love that you’re making it clear exactly what physical demands this job has, but could you possibly, potentially, phrase it differently?

“[tw abuse, incest, csa] Abused children sometimes interpret their victimization within a religious framework of divine purpose. They embrace the identity of the saint chosen for martyrdom as a way of preserving a sense of value. Eleanore Hill, an incest survivor, describes her stereotypical role as the virgin chosen for sacrifice, a role that gave her an identity and a feeling of specialness: “In the family myth I am the one to play the ‘beauty and the sympathetic one.’ The one who had to hold [my father] together. In primitive tribes, young virgins are sacrificed to angry male gods. In families it is the same.””

An Unknown Color — read on ao3

In psychosis, it seems that language and music change places. In the place of silently scanning words and sentences to find the meanings others also may hear and converse about, one is lost in language and sometimes cannot follow what is said. It is not possible to keep track of plausible meanings unfolding in a sentence. What then? Rather than listening to language as mute, language becomes musical, a series of sounds addressed to the listener and filled with significance. One searches in vain for a lost code that will scan, deliver meaning to language as enigma. To find such a code, one must create language, or notations, of another order.

I begin my work from the premise that language is central to human subjectivity, and that all of us are subjects in relation to our own and others' interpretations of our speech and writing, whether or not we have ever experienced psychosis. The psychotic, I will show, bears enigmatic traces of questions and experiences beyond a shared language, beyond what can be known or spoken in any social link. In psychosis, the subject takes the position of witness to a ghastly Other in social isolation.