in love with the impossible

i don’t have enough "inspiration" (= my brain is too tired and slow to create original ideas) to write so now i want to translate texts, a task which is also tiring but does not require the exact same type of creativity since you work more closely with an original text. however i’m not sure it’s a good idea since i tend to find translation extremely frustrating due to both its limitations and my own limitations, i simply don’t do enough translation to be a good translator. but there are extracts from this book that i would like to translate into english. and translating my philomela story into french would be an interesting exercise.

i cannot stress enough how much time i have spent this past year trying to find as much information as i could for master’s admissions and on this specific program, so that i wouldn’t have to deal with surprises—i looked everywhere, i figured out things that were not indicated in clear ways and that were hard to find, i’ve been on this for so long. and still now that it’s time for the actual enrollment they hit me with new incomprehensible things that were not specified anywhere (and i know that because i’m looking them up trying to understand what’s going on and i can’t find anything). so it’s summer and i’m finally done with my stupid undergraduate degree and i’m already crying over my master’s degree i’ve not even started yet

probably having an anxiety attack again. uni is never going to get easier is it

reading beautiful books in french makes me want to write in french again, something i haven’t done in years, and when i did nearly all of it was literary role play, collaborative writing. i want to explore writing in french in other ways, trying new things, but i’m already trying so hard to improve my writing in english, i’m not sure i can do both