do it like an accountant

i hate to reveal my ignorance but i can’t help but wonder why we’re still having society wide discussions about what team lebron is on. is he not like 50? should he not be in a field, on a farm, playing and running happily with other lebrons? what about his joints? what about his knees? does he creak audibly when he dunks?

i cant breathe and my mouth tastes bad, my eyes sting, my chest hurts, my mom hasn’t been able to go outside for days, the elderly are dropping like flies, you can’t see 2 feet in front of your face, people are fleeing their homes for their lives, and if i see one more “fuck canada for ruining our summer” tweet from a yank i might actually track down their location and run them over with an actual car

“homophobic politician is secretly gay” has been a satisfying and poetic concept to imagine for time immemorial, for sure, but the way people are wording what they’re saying on twitter… sheesh

*guy bravely standing up for free speech image* i’m sure lindsey graham was a rotten pos, but the way everybody on twitter is frothing at the mouth to make fun of him supposedly being closeted gay is. er. not very woke? why does “this guy might have been gay” seem like a good way to humiliate him and tarnish his memory to you people. quickly 🎤

lestat as the main character could not be less appealing to me. when kronk’s new groove came out everyone was like “kronk is fine in small doses but as the main character he is annoying as fuck.” mind you i couldn’t possibly agree less with that sentiment but that’s how i feel about lestat

i watched like 3 episodes of iwtv with the homies and i was like wow this is great and then never got around to the rest so i don’t really “go here” per se, but the idea of renaming the whole thing “the vampire lestat” and centring it around lestat’s rock music career to the point of releasing, like, a real life album, and doing real life concerts, is batshit crazy to me. yes i know it happened in the books or whatever and that we already did this in 2003 (camp!) but frankly the changes they made to the source material were the reason the show was interesting and compelling in the first place and now i absolutely could not gaf about ever continuing it

not a single soul mentioning dumb dumb want gum gum. you could not walk 2 feet in fifth grade without hearing some mf saying dumb dumb want gum gum

i feel crazy i just saw someone on twitter naming popular middle school phrases and they listed afro circus and some random quote from night at the museum about firepower or something that i never heard of in my life. all the replies were people my age being like “omg you awakened a memory within me everyone was saying that shit in the day”. NO TF THEY WERE NOT?? we were saying “dumb dumb want gum gum”!!! what are you talking about!!!???

this would be cold comfort to the execs who lost a bajillion dollars but i feel like masters of the universe has the potential to become a hidden gem cult classic in 5-10 years given how everybody who saw it was saying it’s actually kind of okay

message in a bottle one of the greatest songs ever lowkey

do europeans believe in fans cause i would straight up be dead without my oscillating fan

keep thinking about the discourse this summer where europeans are acting like air conditioning is this crazy silly yank invention that is beneath them to use. to each his own but i’m canadian and if i didn’t have ac i would be a foul smelling and horribly textured puddle of flesh on the floor

i do vaguely remember they did some mildly interesting world building stuff in the sequel, like the world is very very different due to billions getting killed (as it should be? looking at you kingsman 2!) and they’ve integrated a lot of the alien tech into humanity’s own, so we have more a way advanced space program than we really did in 2016. why am i actually excited to watch independence day resurgence. this is pissing me off. i know i will be disappointed and i just have to sit here and take it

oh and bringing back the scientist and being like btw he lived and was in a coma for 20 years and was also gay and this is his gay life partner. movies rock!!!